SCP-CN-421-J

Item #: SCP-CN-421-J

Object Class: Keter Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: The remaining part of SCP-CN-421-J is currently stored in the Fifth Memetic Hazard Special Control Management Area. 293 people, including SCP-CN-421-J's agency, have been controlled and administered a Class B amnestic.

Due to the neutralization of the object, access to SCP-CN-421-J's barefaced photograph is unlocked. Seborrheic alopecia is identified.

Description: SCP-CN-421-J is a biennial herb of the genus Raphanus of the family Cruciferae, or a radish, whitened, 39 centimeters in length. Its anomalous property is its possession of an entire agency and exclusive agents, and the extreme attraction of a specific population to its audiovisual resources. The population is characterized by middle-aged women aged 27 to 50 with comfortable financial capacity. A large number of fan groups are observed in the population, who actively search for and spread all relevant information about SCP-CN-421-J on the Internet.

Addendum CN-421-J-1: The audio log of the cast

+ Fake fans' access is forbidden

<Begin Log>
Director: Hey, cut. ███, you can't shadow the hero. Pay attention to your route. From here, around here, camera from here. You'll shadow the hero if you move like that. You should show its whole gesture to the audience.
[Performer's low voice of complaint]
Director: OK, ready, action!
Director: Cut cut cut! You should show the feeling of infatuation and frustration to the hero. You should glare at it and get the feeling of its response.
[Performer's strange mumble]
Director: Cut! Makeup! Hurry up. Don't waste Mr Radish's time.
Agent: Madam, what's the powder you used! You dare to paint this on Mr Radish's face?
Makeup Artist: But other performers…
Agent: What?! Other guys with a less-than-five-figure hourly wage deserve the same powder as Mr Radish? Don't you know you whole cast can't even equal our Mr Radish's face if your trash powder damages it!
Producer: Excuse me. We have such a poor memory that we should have separately prepared Mr Radish's powder. It's our fault. Sorry, sorry.
Agent: Remember, to use pearl powder shipped from abroad. Other powders are just like flour on Mr Radish's precious face!
Director: (whispering) Isn't that similar to youdunzi¹…
Agent: Huh? Pardon?
Director: Nothing… But the next scene is the hero killing a regiment of Japanese soldiers bare-handed, hit directly by an atomic bomb and walking out of the fire. It doesn't seem good to whiten it so much…
Agent: Use a double!
[Director's long sigh of relief]
Director: OK OK, do you want a Star Platinum or a Crazy Diamond? Eh, sorry I've got a wrong drama.
[Unknown staff's low voice of complaint]
Unknown Staff: Well, you've come to the location just for coating yourself with flour…
<End Log>

Addendum CN-421-J-2: The audio log from the luxurious presidential room of ██ KTV

+ Real fans' access is forbidden

<Begin Log>
Rich and Anonymous A: Your movie layout profit dividend this time will be 99% at most, then the commercial shit will get the rest—my nephew is enriching his resume, you know.
Rich and Non-Anonymous B: Hey bro, don't be a stranger. 99% is enough. Though it's a bit less, those fans will still flood here if we have Mr Radish.
Agent: But… it's almost the time.
Rich and Anonymous A: Why not find a lasting one? Like a great white shark or something?
Agent: Hey, Master ██. In our industry, durability is the greatest taboo. The more lasting it is, the harder it is to hold.
Rich and Anonymous A: I see. It's better to follow you professionals. I'm too old to keep up with you young people.
Rich and Non-Anonymous B: Come on! Master ██'s 100-kilo-heavy body, although with diabetes, hyperlipemia, cataract, hyperostosis, lumbar disc protrusion and kidney stone, is sure to live to the same age as heaven! Am I right, ██████?
Agent: At least 2000 years!
<End Log>

Addendum CN-421-J-3: The audio log from the office

+ Fans' access is forbidden

<Begin Log>
Employee A: Boss, today Mr Radish is overexposed to the stage light. It is a little bit blackened.
Agent: Oh, it's blackened. Let me see. Take these five yuan and go to Uncle Dong's to buy a new one. You know the route right? Go downstairs and cross two crossroads to the market. Don't be fooled! Dong gives short weight.
Employee A: I see. What if they sell out?
Agent: Buy a cauliflower! It's also white.
<End Log>

Footnotes

1. A fried street snack with shredded radish filling, named after the form of its cooker.