Item #: SCP-PL-007
Object Class: If the object existed, it would be classified as Euclid
If SCP-PL-007 existed, it could (but did not have to) look like this. Happily - it does not exist.
Special Containment Procedures: If the object existed, containment procedures applied to it should be a hybrid of results obtained after conducting at least one hundred experiments (which of course would be impossible, because, happily, the object does not exist). If the object existed, it should also be kept as far as possible from larger clusters of people, because it would be proved that it has an anomalous ability to affect living organisms even at a considerable distance from it; happily the object doesn't exist, so we don't need to take any action. Assuming that SCP-PL-007 exists (which is impossible because happily it does not exist), access to it would be granted only to personnel with 3 or higher clearance level and only to those who would had previously undergone meditation session preparing to confront the object.
Description: If SCP-PL-007 existed, it would probably be described as a phenomenon that would make the confronter aware of what they need to achieve happiness, but of course all employees of the Foundation know that these are only fantastic assumptions, because the object — happily — does not exist. The subject would take — depending on the viewer or the person within its range of influence — a different form, shape or state; once it would be an item, once it would create a phenomenon, at other times it would appear as a living organism; in other words, it would adapt to the confronting, inexplicably reading from their subconsciousness their innermost desires whose fulfillment would guarantee them happiness (it would be so if the subject existed, but we know — and we should be really happy about it — that it does not exist). However, if SCP-PL-007 existed, its action would cause in the confronting (at first) discomfort and anger; most testers, realizing what they need, would fall into hysteria caused by the knowledge that they are unable to reach happiness. They would try to persuade the object to fulfill mentioned conditions guaranteeing them happiness, with further failures worsening their mental state and deepening the awareness of them being condemned to lead an unhappy life.
Research would be conducted to determine whether the subject consciously chooses its victims. Shortly thereafter, the relation between object's effect strength and mental temper would be proven; in the experiment it would be proved that the confronters that are mentally more resistant (i.e. life-experienced, often meeting with failures) would be able to reduce the impact of SCP-PL-007 on their mind, trying to convince themselves that the object does not exist (as it, happily, is). For such people, the "fact" of the non-existence of the object would be happy; in other words, they would suppress the awareness that the subject actually exists, and that it can lead them to the state described in Experiments (if they existed), trying to convince their own awareness that the object happily does not exist, and this is the greatest happiness that might have happened to them (Happily, we do not have to pay attention to this confusing description, because — happily — SCP-PL-007 does not exist).
The following is additional documentation that would probably be created if the object existed (happily it does not exist):
Lead: Dr. ███████
Participants: D-1007
Description: D-1007 would be twenty years old male with overgrown ego. At the time of the experiment, he would not have had any sexual partner (he would confess that he had not only not had intercourse, but also never kissed a woman), which would be justified by the statement that "these whores are not worthy of me", as well as: "I am waiting for the one as wonderful as me. "
Process: D-1007 would be affected by the object, while being in its containment cell one kilometer under ground (at this time, potentially better methods for containing SCP-PL-007 would not be known). Asked about what he saw, he would respond calmly: "the woman of his dreams". Asked for the details of her appearance, he would answer: "the most beautiful in the world". He would not react to the threat that if he does not respond as expected, consequences will be drawn against him. After a few minutes of silence, he would finally shout: "Marylin! Marylin! What should I do to resurrect you?!" and then he would start to cry. He would only respond with louder crying and howling if tried to order him to leave the containment cell, at time to time whispering: "At least tell me how to get to you; Why can't I touch you?; If you have appeared here, then you should know a way to turn back time." Finally, he would be pulled away from the object by [IT WOULD BE EXPUNGED].
Result: D-1007 would suffer permanent mental health harm resulting in the need to put him in a psychiatric hospital (after having previously applied a class D amnestic). There — despite the use of the amnestic mentioned above — he would constantly draw portraits of the woman of his dreams, who would turn out to be Marylin Monroe, on the walls.
Lead: Dr. █████
Participants: LAD-SI-07/34
Description: LAD-SI-07/34 would be a remote controlled, prototype Foundation robot from LAD-SI series with artificial intelligence. The robot would have one meter in height and one and a half meter in width, it would have two mechanisms reminiscent of human arms, it would move by means of six rotary mechanisms (three on each side), it would receive and transmit audiovisual signals by means of two "eyes" and "ears" embedded in the "head". These signals would be processed by the "brain" and interpreted by the robot independently - by its artificial intelligence. Then the robot would provide information thanks to the built-in "larynx" and "mouth".
Process: LAD-SI-07/34 would be asked to enter the object's containment cell and answer all questions asked by the research staff. On site, the robot would stop just in front of the object. The experiment lead Dr. █████ (directly supervising the production of LAD-SI-07/34 and its main designer) would ask the robot what it saw. LAD-SI-07/34 would not respond for two minutes and seven seconds, after which the cooling of its "brain" would be heard (indicating its overload), and the robot would say: "I see a man."
Result: With the consent of Administrator O5-██ all robots from the LAD-SI series would be destroyed.
Lead: Dr. █████████
Participants: D-3762
Description: D-3762 would be forty-seven years old male claiming that he had achieved happiness in life.
Process: After entering the containment cell he would be asked about what he sees. He would think for a moment before answering, finally saying, "Check." Asked to provide the data on the check, he would answer: "There is a field «amount» and next to it is «happiness». Below is the blank field «signature». I… I think I should fill it". The man would be immediately ordered to leave the containment cell, to which he would react with the words: "What? I can't leave without a signature." Then he would start looking for a pen and his breathing would become violent and greedy. After a few minutes, he would run out of the containment cell, then attacking the doctor one and a half kilometers away (it should be noted that D-3762 showed excellent knowledge of the underground structures of Area 8) trying to take his pen; feeling a threat and not knowing the identity of D-3762, the doctor would stab the man with that pen.
Result: Check mentioned by D-3762 would be SCP-PL-025 (it would be unknown how it appeared in the containment cell of the SCP-PL-007, although it would be confirmed that it did not leave its own during the experiment).
Several factors would influence this decision:
- it would not be possible to determine the extent of the subject's impact;
- it would not be possible to determine the object's consciousness (fruitless research would be carried out);
- it would be impossible to make a detailed description of the object;
- it would be impossible to specify the subject's impact on individual personality types due to contradictory testimonies.
Happily, SCP-PL-007 does not exist, so we do not need to analyze any of the above.
— dr. ███████
