SCP-(INSERTANYNUMBERHERE)-DE-J
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Item #:
Trainee: Ok. So, here goes the number of the SCP, right?

Instructor: Yep

SCP-(INSERTANYNUMBERHERE)-DE-J

Instructor: That's not a real number.

Trainee: But a placeholder. You told me something about placeholders earlier, right?

Object Class:
Trainee: Well, phew. What is this SCP…? Ah!

Awesome

Instructor: But that's not a real Object Class!

Trainee: Yes, but you just told me I shouldn't use placeholders here!

Instructor: Yes I did, but not here in the Object Class!

Trainee: That's irrelevant right now!

Instructor: Eh whatever, now write the Special Containment Procedures.

Trainee: Ok.

Special Containment Procedures:
Trainee: So, ok. This is gonna be hard… Now I have to write how to… hold it captive… right?

Instructor: Yes, now you have to write down how to keep it contained.

It has to be contained, with a sponge.

Instructor: Well, you could be more specific.

Trainee: Yeah yeah, I've got this.

This sponge must be working.

Instructor: Nope, nope, nope! You also must be specific about why the sponge must be functional.

The sponge must be working so the thing can dampen itself!

Instructor: But why must it dampen itself?

Trainee: Aw, c'mon! What else do I have to say, dammit? I'll leave it at this.

Description:
Trainee: Here I have to… write what it is?

Instructor: Yes, do this without me, I'll go and grab a coffee.

Trainee: Ok, I can do this!

It is big and colourful, it is stupid and doesn't want to negotiate peacefully. And it can shot stuff which is red and hurts! It swallows children and hides in huge pot plants and then mauls children! It can spread a sort of virus that turns everyone into zombies and makes them lose their will. It can also cast magic! It knows magic spells like:"Awada Kedapra" and kills its victims like this! It can also change its speed at will. And it has big eyes to hypnotize people.

Instructor: I'm back… Your article got… quite special? And why is this thing so powerful?

Trainee: I thought I can write whatever I want!

Instructor: Yes, but how is the Foundation supposed to contain it?

Trainee: No idea, you can do everything!

Instructor: No, we can't- Argh! Just keep writting! Ok?

Trainee: Yeah ok, I'll add something to it!

It manipulates people to make them tell their deepest feelings to the world.

Instructor: This sentence… could be improved…

Trainee: Yes, but it's good enough for me.

Discovery
Trainee: I don't need you here!

Instructor: O.K., if you say so.

The Thingamajig fell into coma the 5th of October I guess and then got brought to the Foundation?

Instructor: And? How's it going?

Trainee: I gave my best.

Instructor: One does not use things like "I guess"! You have to be certain!

Trainee: Alright, thanks for telling me.

Addendum:
Trainee: May I write an Interview?

Instructor: Sure. Just put it into the box.

SCP-(INSTRANUMBERHERE)-DE-J: Hello.

Dr. Pupa: Hello! Oh no, don't hypnotize me!

SCP-(INSTRANUMBERHERE)-DE-J: No. I won't, because I have a sponge!

Instructor: What the… how the hell does a sponge hinders it? And what's Pupa supposed to be for a name?

Trainee: Shh! I have to focus!


Dr. Pupa: Ah yeeesss! So, I wanted to ask why you're so awesome. 😚

SCP-(INSTRANUMBERHERE)-DE-J: Because I loooove this sponge!😍

Instructor: May I proofread?

Trainee: Sure! How is it?

Instructor: It's… shit! Boy, how many times do I have to tell you? And why is it now "SCP-(INSTRANUMBERHERE)-DE-J" instead of "SCP-(INSERTANYNUMBERHERE)-DE-J"? Go to your room and read this document here and learn a lesson from it, and that's it!

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