Toilets in the SCP Multiverse
rating: -5+x

The world of SCP is filled with indescribable weirdness and unimaginable horrors that let even the bravest men shit bricks and weakens bladders everywhere. But fortunately, there is an solution. Places where relieve for even the strongest pressures can be found. Although they are not uniform…

This list contains the methods of organic waste disposal employed by the Foundation, its allies and its adversaries alike. To gain such intel, we send our scout even to the stinkiest pits, to the most humble porcelain bowls and the most venerated seats.

SCP Foundation: The Foundation takes shits in hermetically sealable boxes and then store them, numbered and categorized, at a top secret black site deep in the wastes of Antarctica.

  • German Branch: Toilets are well designed and always tidy. However, to use them you need to schedule an appointment at least one month in advance and state your intended location, your intended time of use and the amount of toilet paper you will require. The timetables are put up on a notice board in front of the bathrooms.
  • Thai Branch: Their restrooms have been under reconstruction…….since 2001, so technically they have toilets but don't have a place to relieve themselves.

Are We Cool Yet?: They are upside down. Why? Because it's art. Functional? Who cares? It's art. There are still members who use them, surprisingly but most made a fund to rent a port-a-potty.

Fascist Counsel of the Occult: Each toilet is a chimera made from ███ different types of sanitary appliances. It's difficult to use such a huge toilet but DAMN does it look cool!

Fifth Church: Have five toilets for the five daily sessions. Because why not?

Home Wonders Ltd: Has high-tech toilets that clean your ass. FROM THE INSIDE! As a result, employees tend to hold it in until the shift has ended.

Sarkic Cults: Use bio-toilets looking lika an oversized pimple. Surprisingly comfy, although somewhat wet. Of note is the lack of toilet paper. That's because the butt gets liked clean by an inbuild toungue.

Serpent's Hand: Toilets look fairly normal but may be possessed by an eldritch abomination. Toilet paper is always available to prevent people from whipping their behinds with book pages. Those who dare to indulge in such vile practices are likely to never give a shit again.

Shark Punching Center: Shark Pugilists don't poop. If they need relief they home in on the nearest shark and punch him so hard that it poops for them.

Although our stall scouts are giving it their all (or at least all their bowel contents), there are still places unknown to us. If you somehow came across a place not listed here, please share your experience with us.

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