The Things Dr Ore Is Not Allowed To Do At The German Branch Of The Foundation
rating: +7+x

This is the list of things that Dr Ore is not allowed to do at the german branch of the Foundation. These are the secret containment measurements for the SCP known as "Dr Ore".

  1. Dr. Ore may not obtain any instances of SCP-075-DE-A.
    1. Especially not if he offers them to Dr Toxic and asks him to help with a "computer problem".
  2. Dr. Ore may not ask SCP-092-DE to help him with re-enacting the stabbing scene from Beat It.
  3. If Dr. Ore cuts his employee's wages, he may not administer SCP-038-DE to them before being notified.
  4. Dr. Ore may not tell new personnel that SCP-046-DE "is just a dude with heavy psoriasis".
  5. Dr. Ore may not gift flowerpots with SCP-037-DE to the O4-Council.
    1. Or sell.
    2. Or force upon.
    3. Or leave in their office.
    4. You know what, just don't let Dr. Ore near SCP-037-DE.
  6. No, Dr. Ore, SCP-017-DE isn't the Tank Girl!
  7. Dr. Ore may not deploy a MTF to catch SCP-053-DE-A, just to ask it for naval specifications to make the stats of the Tirpitz in World of Warships more accurate.
  8. Dr. Ore may not call himself "Dumbled-Ore", whether he posses SCP-066-DE or not.
  9. Dr. Ore may not take SCP-015-DE with him into the bathtub.
  10. SCP-008-DE is not to be used for duck hunts, Ore!
    1. Nor is it to be taken to SCP-058-DE-instances because he just wants to know who would win in a "Live-Action" Plants vs Zombies.
  11. Dr. Ore may not use KIRA to trace back spammers and send them SCP-011-DE.
  12. Even if they deserve it.
  13. Just because you can't keep it down, bad beer won't be classified as Keter, Ore!
    1. Well, perhaps Budweiser.
  14. SCP-012-DE is not a "bonsai jungle" and Dr. Ore may not approach it with a machete closer than 500 m.
  15. On second thoughts, why do we even let him USE a machete?
  16. Dr. Ore may not use the designation SCP-008-DE-J as an expletive, least of all because we still don't know if it's actually shit.
  17. Dr Ore may not show SCP-033-DE material from "Tengen Toppa Guren Lagann"!
    1. Or from "Evangelion".
    2. Or from "Power Rangers".
    3. Or from "Pacific Rim".
    4. Or any other franchise with mechas.
    5. Or Kaijūs and other monsters so that we have a reason to build one!
    6. How about just no media.
  18. Dr. Ore may not borrow SCP-006-DE and SCP-097-DE to re-enact Devil May Cry.
  19. Dr. Ore may not sing in the shower.
    1. No, not even in SCP-034-DE.
  20. Dr. Ore may not borrow SCP-093-DE to make his "wet dreams" a reality.
  21. Dr. Ore may not own SCP-018-DE.
  22. No matter what he says and how plausible it might seem, Dr Ore is in no way related to Dr. Bright.
  23. Dr. Ore is not allowed to deliberately enrage SCP-086-DE to roast sausages on it!
    1. or bratwursts.
    2. or rostbrätels.
    3. or marshmallows.
    4. or anything like that.
  25. Although they hold high offices on the german branch of the Foundation, Dr. Ore may not refer to Dr. Grom nor Dr. Writer as "the big cheese".
    1. Or as "the Meatball of Meatballs".
  26. Dr. Ore is not allowed to replace Dr. Belvelskis personal file's photo with any other photograph and then blame SCP-011-DE for it.
  27. After we came to know about Dr. Ore's plans for a "ninja-pirate-shaolin-knight-detective-robot", it is now strictly prohibited to him to use SCP-022-DE on anything.
  28. Dr. Ore, we know you're a huge fan of Wolverine and X23, so you can forget about access to SCP-040-DE for your little "special project"!
  29. Dr. Ore may not ask personnel anybody, and we mean anybody, the question "Are you my mommy?".
  30. Dr. Ore, when questioned about incidents, you have to reply more than "Oops"!
  31. Dr. Ore may not use SCP-039-DE and SCP-039-DE-01 for disk jockeying.
    1. He also may not give them any disk jockey for usage.
    2. And he may certainly not scratch with it.
  32. By order of the German Ethics Committee, Dr. Ore is not to be granted access to SCP-003-DE for throwing it in the suggestion box of the German Branch of the SCP-Foundation.
  33. Dr. Ore may not tell junior researchers ,under any circumstances, that they can find "Santa Claus" inside the Weyer Forest.
  34. Dr. Ore may not use SCP-035-DE under any circumstances to teleport into the world of "My Little Pony" "Spongebob Squarepants" "Doctor Who" "the Teletubbies" ANY TV series.
    1. Or in those of a cinema film. We don't care if this makes Inception a better suiting title, Dr. Ore, stop it!
  35. Dr. Ore may not install Steam on a supercomputer under ANY circumstances. Yes, 4K - 120FPS is epic, but the supercomputer was not purchased for your entertainment!
  36. he may look like one, but Dr. Ore is lying about being a character from Borderlands.
    1. Or Mad Max.
  37. Dr. Ore is prohibited from accessing the arsenal of the security the MTF anyone, since he will then replace all pistols with Airsoft-guns. Again.
  38. Dr. Ore may not host dance parties on SCP-004-DE.
  39. Dr. Ore may not administer amnestics of any class to himself under any circumstance to pass a polygraph test if he caused trouble. Again.
    1. In this regard, he also may not administer amnestics through the fire extinguisher system in the canteen in odrer to make the personnel forget about the problems he caused. We're still trying to figure out what to do with the affected personnel.
  40. Dr. Ore may not sign SCP-020-DE up for the Eurovision Song Contest.
    1. Or any other song contest! We are aware it would win some of them, but regardless, no!
  41. Dr. Ore may not use this document as a source of inspiration nor as a check list.
  42. Dr. Ore may not use SCP-045-DE to peep at young women in this or other realities.
    1. This also applies to old women.
    2. And dead women. Jesus Christ, Ore!
    3. Or men dressed as women…
  43. Since Dr. Ore remarked towards Dr. Toxic "Whilst shitting, you shall be struck by lightning!"1, he is now prohibited from accessing SCP-016-DE for security reasons.
  44. Dr. Ore may not write an document in the dialect of his hometown.
  45. No Dr Ore, we will not waste resources of the german branch of the Foundation to fund the "German Avengers".
    1. And even if we do, you definitely won't join them as "Captain Germany".
  46. Dr Ore is not allowed to hold an "open day" at the Foundation. We had to amnesticize six hundred "visitors"!
    1. We also have no "Girls Day"2!
  47. The following excuses may no longer be used by Dr. Ore during an interogation:
    1. "How did that just happen?"
    2. "SCP-011-DE opened the cell doors."
    3. "Sure that this was me? Anyone could wear such a mask and googles."
    4. "It was an accident."
    5. "I tripped!"
    6. "Why would i do such a thing?"
    7. "That was all the D-Classes."
    8. "There was no more ham in the canteen!"
    9. "It was just a little bit of fun."
    10. "Dr Bright forced me to do it!"
    11. "I was bored!"
    12. "I am Groot."
  48. If Dr. Ore develops new materials for his work, he may not give it names like "Adamantium", "Vibranium", "Mithril" or "Hüddldüddl".
  49. Dr. Ore, we though it was clear but let me spell it out for you: The database is not to be vandalized. And you may not invent an SCP to blame your actions on.
  50. The handling of him may suggest otherwise, but Dr. Ore's first name is contrary to his claims not "Damn it".
  51. Dr. Ore may not tell female personnel that SCP-198-DE is single and a "passionate kisser".
    1. And he may not tell it to male homosexual personnel either.
  52. Dr. Ore may not suggest SCP-142-DE to single male personnel as "insider tip for singles".
    1. Nor may he suggest it to any married male personnel as "perfect for adultery".
    2. The above rules now also apply to female personnel, although we don't know (and want to know) what you attempted to achieve with this.
  53. We know you like huge and mighty challenges, Ore, but that's no reason to pilfer Dr Robin's cocoa. It took us 2 MTF-guards and 3 packs of handkerchiefs to restore normalcy!
  54. Since a document called "Resident Evil in Real Life" was found on Dr. Ore's private laptop, he may not approach SCP-044-DE samples closer than 400 Meters, due to security reasons.
  55. Dr. Ore may not use SCP-145-DE-1 to let it do his "chores".
    1. He also may not sell the objects created by SCP-145-DE-1 on a jumble sale.
      1. Especially if those objects have anomalous properties!
  56. Dr. Ore may not forge letters from SCP-060-DE. And he may certainly not send them to married personnel.
  57. Dr. Ore may not administer amnestics to Mister Rabe through his food drink anything to look where his „pain threshold“ lies. What on Earth got into you to give him a whole glass of class-A amnestics? Immunity doesn't means he can't get indigestion. He was fit for nothing for an entire week.
  58. Dr. Ore may not use SCP-111-DE as a mirror.
  59. Dr. Ore may not gift SCP-091-DE as a birthday or christmas present to children.
  60. Dr. Ore may not gain access to SCP-056-DE just because his microwave is broken.
  61. Dr. Ore may not tell personnel that SCP-048-DE is porn movies.
  62. Dr. Ore may not change the 'XXV' on files and objects created by Division XXV into 'XXX' .
    1. We don't care if you mean the movie with Xander Cage.
  63. Dr. Ore, we don't care that you like Chuck-Norris-jokes, but you are not allowed to invent Dr.-Grom-jokes. He doesn't even resemble the guy!
    1. And no, Ore, the O5-Council isn't keeping their identities secret because they are afraid of Dr. Grom.
    2. SCP-027-DE als isn't melting of overstress when worn by Dr. Grom.
  64. Dr. Ore, no matter how awesome you imagine it to be, you may not use SCP-076-DE to swap bodies with a female employee! In this context, we also want to note, that the result would look shit regardless of your chosen victim.
  65. Dr. Ore may not threaten D-class personnel anyone with "the Device"3.
  66. Dr. Ore may not throw raccoons into SCP-095-DE's cell with the justification: "This is 'Rocket', he must join 'Groot'".
  67. Dr. Ore may not use SCP-124-DE, to peep into the women's shower.
    1. Dr. Ore also may not play "hide and seek" in the men's shower to gain photographic proof that some researchers must "compensate for something".
    2. For security reasons, Dr Ore may not get close to SCP-124-DE at all.
    3. If Dr. Ore is prohibited from doing it, other personnel may not imitate it! We thought more of our employees!
    4. And SCP-124-DE-1 is no fucking "Deathly Hallow"!
  68. Dr. Ore may not re-enact the moon landing with a rocket and SCP-068-DE.
    1. No Ore, not with a toy looking like the USS Enterprise from "Star Trek" either.
    2. You know what? You may not re-enact the moon landing with__ anything__ on SCP-068-DE.
  69. Dr. Ore, when greeted by higher-ranking personnel, etiquette demands that you answer with "Hello", "Good day" or similar greetings and not with the words "It wasn't me!".
  70. Dr. Ore may not release SCP-122-DE to attend the Site's Halloween party as "Joreker" and "Harley Quinn".
    1. And of course you may not give it a hammer!
    2. Or convince it to participate in the "Ice Bucket Challenge". We won't let Markus Waldmayer and the janitors work overtime because you wanted to save money for confetti.
  71. Dr. Ore, it was funny the first time around, but please stop now to stick a self made sign reading "Geronam" on SCP-180-DE-1's chest.
  72. Dr. Ore may not "surprise" the O4-Council or any other Foundation personnel with chocolate hearts on February 14th. You can't buy love with a ton of candy.
    1. This also applies to all other days of the year, GOOD LORD!
  73. Dr. Ore may not under any circumstance send a letter to SCP-186-DE, in which he wishes for a truckload of "Coca Cola ". No matter how unlikely it is that the wish will be fulfilled.
    1. This also applies to other wishes. Especially paving the access road to Site-DE12 with Milky Way bars.
    2. And you may not speculate for coal.
  74. No matter what he has done, Dr. Ore is not the Evil Overlord.
    1. He also isn't the "Good Overlord".
    2. And he definitely isn't the "Ore-verlord"!
  75. Dr Ore may not use SCP-115-DE to open the lockers and chests of others.
  76. Dr. Ore isn't the ruler, king, dictator, tyrant or any other form of leader of SCP-103-DE.
    1. Also he may not dispatch MTF D-Class personnel anybody to become such.
    2. Not even if you claim to conquer back the O4s socks.
  77. The Defenders are not "Space Marines", Ore.
    1. In conclusion, their U-3378-DE equivalents are no "Chaos Space Marines" and U-3378-DE itself isn't "the Warp".
    2. Dr. Ore may also not go on crusades.
      1. Or on a "WAAAGH!".
  78. Dr. Ore may not order a "Kebabthunder" from SCP-190-DE.
  79. Dr. Ore may not use SCP-192-DE as source of information about any personnel. Merely having it work with you should concern you!
    1. After discovering how SCP-192-DE was brought to cooperate, Dr. Ore is now prohibited to write fanfictions.
  80. Dr. Ore may not release SCP-136-DE from its cell and ask it to stop time around him so that he can inspect the women's locker room.
    1. Or the showers
    2. Or the toilets
    3. Just don't let him close to SCP-136-DE.
  81. Dr. Ore may not suggest SCP-160-DE to new Foundation personnel as a "perfect holiday location for the whole family".
    1. This also applies to existing personnel unaware of SCP-160-DE.
    2. No, Dr. Ore, you won't hold a holiday lottery…
  82. We may have a timetraveling bomber, but this doesn't means you're permitted to activate the air raid warning whenever you please, Ore!
  83. No matter what Dr. Ore says and no matter how much evidence he brings forward, there is no site 666 and the devil is no SCP stored there.

Should you notice other behaviour of Dr. Ore that has to be added to this list, do not hesitate. More Information can be found in Discuss.

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