Dr. Hinault's Personnel File
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Dr Hinault's
Personnel File

hinault.jpeg

"Blblbllbl" - Dr. Hinault
"I think he likes it." -D-1202.

Last Name: He's a salmon. Despite this, personnel has made a habit of humorously calling him Dr. Hinault in reference to another doctor in the facility who shows particular affection for them.

First Name: So far, he has not received a name since he is primarily destined to be eaten.

Age: Four (4) years old. He is however quite mature for his age.

Gender: Male.

Clearance Level: He's a salmon.

Physical Description: A regular-looking Chinook salmon, i.e. silvery scales and an unfriendly expression, his coworkers think of him as someone rather nice regardless. However, this particular salmonid has an anomalous physical feature which was not enough to classify him as a true SCP: a set of 32 human teeth. On the rare occasions that he shows them, witnesses report a feeling of unease and fear, and describe this characteristic as "creepy" or "freakish."

Size: 120 cm or twice as tall as the world's smallest man. It is the expected size for a salmon of his species, though.

Weight: Twelve (12) kilograms. He does not seem to accept it however, and will grin at anyone who points it out. This is generally followed by a period of depression coupled with furious exercise in his tank. His movement speed dwarfs any on-site washing machine, measured at 1100 2568 rotations per minute.

Request to utilize Dr Hinault as a tumble-dryer for personnel immune to nausea. - Dr. Saumon

Request denied. - Bruce Garett, Director of Site-Aleph

I… I think I'm gonna throw up… who the fuck told him he was slow? - Dr. Saumon

Hair: He's a salmon.

Eyes: An empty gaze most of the time but vivid when he is aroused in any way.

Qualities: He is reserved and will not blow the whistle, preferring to blow bubbles. Being rather introverted, he does not enjoy joining his coworkers but does so anyway for unknown reasons. He never stays in place for long and can "leave" in the middle of a "conversation:" this translates in a hard (or rather, squishy) headbutt on the side of the tank and a change of directions from his carrier. According to personnel who kept track of such behavior, he has performed an estimated 5900 headers which is equivalent to two average football careers. Dr. Hinault is a true sportsman. The reason personnel has kept track of this statistic is as of yet unknown.

Do you have nothing better to do than document the life of a fish? - Bruce Garett, Director of Site-Aleph

Shortcomings: When something displeases him and this something is human, a grin will generally be enough to make himself understood.

Request to use Dr Hinault for the recruitment of future agents, as a test of mental resistance. - Dr. Saumon

Request denied, it's just a salmon. - Bruce Garett, Director of Site-Aleph

Sexual orientation: "When asked about it, he simply looks up and smiles, he must have a pure heart." - Sandrine, 190cm, F cup

Marital status: The highly controversial relationship between detainee D-1202 and Dr. Hinault appears to have been confirmed on February 14th, 2019. Action is being taken by the ethics committee, sparking an internal debate about this interracial affair.

Political opinions: "He produced bubbles at this picture of Mélenchon!" Dr. Saumon
"I swear I saw him smile during Macron's speech!" Dr. Lachs
"He seemed very solemn looking at Putin's photograph." Dr. Somon
"He abruptly left his tank watching Hollande's departure." Dr. Losos
"You guys are aware he's just a salmon right? He can't even vote." Dr. cá hồi

Religious affiliation: He's a salmon.

Background: He arrived with a convoy of goods headed for Site-Aleph, more specifically the personnel's cafeteria, on 03/05/2013.

The head chef, Mr Ramesec, was persuaded to spare him by his disarming smile. In his own words: "I can't cook that thing guys! Lock it up in a cell or a bunker, but I can't cook a fish what grins at me!" Following this incident, he temporarily received the title of the "uncookable SCP" or "SCP-300-FR." Indeed, 75 chefs, including one renowned for working in unsanitary establishments, all declined a one million-euro contract to prepare Dr. Hinault. The best of interrogators have attempted to determine his origin, but none of them could get him to spill his guts. On 27/09/2013, he was rehabilitated on order of the Site director with no particular justification.

To this day, his rehabilitation is a mystery as well as the reason he has been at all times carried by D-1202 since 12/02/17. In order to distinguish him from an edible product, especially for personnel with a taste for fish, he was fitted with eyebrows. It should be noted that the personnel who added this attribute suffer insomnia and paranoia.

Current position: He constantly lazes around in his tank. It is not rare for him to engage in conversation with his carrier about the consequences of obesity, the right to abortion or the dynamics of stock trading in the Middle East. Why he follows the same itinerary at every hour, every day, remains a mystery.

Behavior: Though he rarely smiles, Dr. Hinault is a highly athletic creature who poorly accepts his curves and makes use of every gap in his "schedule" to terrorize on-site chefs. He has a habit of producing bubbles around people he appreciates and wiggling his fins when he hears gossip. According to some, thanks to rumors and other hearsay, he possesses more information than even the highest-ranking Foundation employees. He would probably pose an XK-level threat if he was capable of speech. Thank God he is not…

+ Favorite sayings:

Mode of transportation: D-1202. The latter was assigned to Dr. Hinault's case upon being downgraded to Class-D. He carries Dr. Hinault's fish bowl at all times and following the establishment of an itinerary by Dr. Goupini, he rigorously respects said itinerary in preparation for a return to Class-E. Any detour from the pre-established itinerary must be reported to your supervisor so that Dr. Hinault can be associated to another individual.

Notable skills: He's a salmon.
- He can blow bubbles.
- He manages to push buttons.
- He seems to understand French and some basic English. He is however unable to help interns due to his salmonid nature.
- He can keep a low profile.

Favorite quotations:

Level O5 Clearance needed to access this confidential information


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Secure. Contain. Protect.


"He's a salmon."

These words can mean anything: he's neither exceptionally smart, nor very strong for a salmon, he's just a salmon with teeth that understands the French language and doesn't like chefs.

If you wish to include Dr. Hinault in your works, first know that I would absolutely love it, and secondly, please respect this simple guideline:
"He's a salmon."

That's all for the writing guide!

‡ Licensing / Citation
authordr-hinaultfroo
page revision: 4, last edited: 28 Apr 2023 13:10
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