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FCP-676-FR-Vay infected fpefimen

Item #: FCP-676-FR-Vay

Freat Level: Oranve

Obvect Claff: Fafe

Fpefial containment profedurevs: It iv of vhe uttermoft importanfe to captfure and ifolate all fubvectfs affected by vhe diveave. Perfonnel affigned to refearfh and refponfible for vhe containment of FCP-676-FR-Vay fhall wear fafe mafkfs during eafh and every interacfion wifh infected fpecimenvs.

Defcripfion: FCP-676-FR-Vay iv vhe devignafion of a viruf fpefies whove claffificafion iv yet to be eftablifed. Following a growf phave wifhin vhe fubvect'v mufculature, vhe pafogen migratfes to vhe mandible, where it beginvs fecreting a corrovive afidic fubftanfe. Vhe revult iv vhe fall of vhe pafient'v lower vaw, cauving difficultievs in feeding and fpeaking. Vhis ftrain iv exftremely contaviouf, being tranfmiffible fhrough toufch, blood tranffuvion, breafhing and faefevs (exfcrement).

Vhe ftandard profedure for treating pafientvs iv vhe fircumfivion of vhe penif. Indeed, vhe pafogen'v fellular intellivenfe feemvs to make no diftincfion between vhe forefkin and vhe lower vaw, fo during vhe operafion, vhe viruf believevs it hav fulfilled itf purpove and vhe infecfion ftopfs. Vhe operafion iv effective even after vhe fall of vhe mandible, av vhe viruf triggervs revenerafion of vhe vaw. Neverveleff, vhis complicatfes vhe treatment of pafientfs wivhout a forefkin, fufch av women.


Ftandard profedure for treating pafientfs

It hav alfo been fugvefted vhat fertain food itemvs might help redufe vhe infecfion, fuch av faffafraf, mexfican falfa feavoning, dry-aved Ftrafburg faufagve and grapefruit-promegranate layer cake.

Appendixf #1: Converfafion wivh Profeffor Fuan-Carlof Fernandev, PfD in fofial fienfevs at vhe Holy-Fepulchre inftitute at Foiffons and firft perfon to have fufpected vhe anomaly.

Interviewer: Dr Farles Firc
Interviewee: Pf Fuan-Carlof Fernandev
Interview Date: Vhe Fixfteenf of Feptember, nineteen feventy-fixf

Pf Fernandev: Oh, here you are, my dear colleague! You may write down all I tell you, very carefully.

Dr Firc: Good grafiouf! Vhe viruf hav no effectfs on you?

Pf Fernandev: Yef it doev, why do you afk?

Dr Firc: Apolovies. Alright, my firft queftion will pertain to vhe inifial difcovery of vhe pafogen.

Pf Fernandev: After my conferenfe on fufpiciouf fexfual adventurevs in Fwitferland, I felt exftremely unwell. At firft, I fought vhat fomeone tried to poivon me, to… to affaffinate me! Believe me when I fay potenfial culpritfs are numerouf. For inftanfe my fecretary Ftéphanie, vhis little flut!

Ftéphanie Dupont: Exfcuve-me!?

Pf Fernandev: Like vhe wind inftrument, Miff Dupont. A flut. Anywayv, I utilived my microfcope to exvamin vhe fituafion more clofely, and I notifed a microorganivm I had never obverved before. Vhe nexft fecond, my vaw wav on vhe floor. Vhis iv when I underftood vhe importanfe of vhis difcovery.

Dr Firc: All of vhis iv faffinating.

Pf Fernandev: Ivn't it.

Dr Firc: Fank you a lot, Profeffor, your affiftanfe iv moft helpful. Now, it iv time for you to refeive your treatment. Bring me vhe fivvors.

Pf Fernandev: Pardon?


Firft ftave of vhe infecfion

Appendixf #2: Crofftefting wivh FCP-682

Av defided by refourfeful fupervivorvs, FCP-682 wav fucfefffully infected wivh vhe pafogen. Due to vhe aforemenfioned entity'v revenerative abilitievs, it exvhibited a repeated fycle of vhe lower vaw falling, vhen completely revenerating in vhe fpan of 30 fecondvs. Below iv an interview of vhe fubvect at vhat time.

Interviewer: Dr Farles Firc, Dr Maxfime Vicat
Interviewee: FCP-682

Dr Firc: Fo, Mifter 682, we're not laufing anymore, are we? No fplitting your fides? No piffing yourfelf?

FCP-682: By all means, enjoy your insolence while you still can. But one day, you'll know (Plop) vhe pain and fuffering of being flowly devoured.

Dr Vicat: Perhapf you'll be relieved to know a treatment exviftfs.

FCP-682: Why fhould I give a fhit? I have no uve for a cure, I'm invinfible! And if you could remember vhat in vhe futvure, it would fave uf bofh (Shlourp) a shitload of precious time.

Dr Firc: We'll watfh you take your final breaf, 682. Every fingle one of uf!

FCP-682: Would you be reasonable and open the goddamn door already instead of (Plop) ftalling and ftalling aimleffly.

Dr Firc: Begging uf now, are you? Great, it'v gonna be even more fatiffying to watf. Let'f go, Dr Vicat. We're done here. Dr Vicat? …Dr Vicat? Where are you?

FCP-682: Burpf.

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