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Name: Paul Tree
Gender: Cock Male
Memo: Would you like someone calling you a cock or a pussy instead of your proper gender? If you don't, treat me like a real man. If you do, please maintain a comfortable distance away from me.
Security level: 1
Description: Paul Tree is an avian creature shaped like a spherical chicken about 1 metre in diameter. The British branch of the SCP foundation dispatched a team after reports of a giant chicken-like bird came from Dunfermline, Scotland. The team retrieved the subject and registered it as one of the foundation's anomalous objects. Witnesses and local press employees were administered class A amnestics. When asked its name, the subject failed to recall. However after British personnel started calling it "poultry", the subject was amused, taking the nickname as its actual name, Paul Tree.
The subject was initially contained in a standard humanoid containment cell with curtains. However, the subject refused to eat. An interview was conducted on the matter.
Dr. Koeng Lee: Why wouldn't you eat?
Paul Tree: It's disgusting. Disgusting, I tell you. I mean, how could you deface such fresh ingredients with this horrible food?
Dr. Koeng Lee: Budget reasons. Didn't you say yourself that you aren't a picky eater?
Paul Tree: Well, I didn't expect the food here to be tasteless than living on half-squashed seeds on the sidewalks of Dunfermline. See, if you lads could just cook [REDACTED] by [DATA EXPUNGED] and put ██████ with ██████ on medium heat-
(The rest of the interview is edited out due to it being too long.)1
The subject knows a notable variety of culinary knowledge for a subject that can't even remember its name. When given a portable butane gas stove with ingredients used to prepare a standard meal for foundation personnel, it made food that was described as "anomalously delicious".(Check Experiment log PTC-29) The same phenomenon also happened when D class personnel apt enough at cooking was instructed to cook by Paul's orders. After this, the foundation declassified Paul Tree as an anomalous object and appointed him as ration officer for Site ██. After this replacement of the ration officer, a notable increase in staff morale was noted, with lower levels of violent assaults among D class personnel because of the low quality of foundation food.
The subject seems to prefer poultry. However, when the subject serves poultry to or consumes poultry-based food with humans, the person occasionally reports discomfort among doing so. For this reason, performing such actions require firm consent of the human subject.
What was it… Spicy Chicken Product thing. Can we have more of those? I like it. You can shorten it to SCP by the way.
-Ration Officer Paul Tree
It's Fire chicken noodles. Request granted. - Logistics director of Site ██
Translation List:
SCP-499-KO
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