SCP-137-DE / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-137-DE.

SCP-137-DE

Karpfisch 18 Oct 2022 21:30

Article: SCP-137-DE - Ice Phoenix
Original: May be found here
Original-Author: Dr Ore
Translator: Karpfisch

bird_of_prey_vodel_ice_ice_age_art_exhibition_figure_sculpture-665579.jpg
Creator: Unknown
Source: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/665579
License: CC0 1.0

800px-Approaching_snowstorm,_Trondheim_(5605280207).jpg Ersteller: michael clarke stuff
Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Approaching_snowstorm,_Trondheim_(5605280207).jpg
License: CC BY-SA 2.0

6880307695_fdefb64228_c.jpg
Creator: Richard Allaway
Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/geographyalltheway_photos/6880307695
License: CC BY 2.0

Last edited on 18 Oct 2022 21:30 by Karpfisch Show more

-1

IcePhoenix44 08 Sep 2023 10:43

As much as I really wanted to like a literal ice phoenix (username checks out, am I right?), the article… wasn't really good in the execution.

My main problem with the article is how predictable and formulaic it is. The part where the GOC attempts to kill 137-DE doesn't feels like an "action" scene or satisfying to watch either. The screaming combined with the swearing of the GOC personnel feels really exaggerated at times and the "all caps" words makes the scene slightly immature and doesn't quite represent the threat this anomaly is (although that might be because it is translated).

The ending (origin) does not add much to the article either, as the origin of this bird is not really unique/or pack a punch, summoning something just isn't a special origin anymore in fiction. The phone call also feels really faked (again, that might be because it is translated, so I am willing to overlook that) with the high amount of screaming in it.

Downvoted unfortunately.