SCP-021-INT / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-021-INT.

Jerden 01 Feb 2023 21:28

Interesting article - I did notice a lot of awkward phrasings and some errors that I expect come from writing in a second language (e.g. PF instead of FP), some of which I've corrected for you when it was obvious what you meant. I liked the use of 108 Icons in the GOC format, they made it more visually interesting.

Overall, it's an interesting concept for an article, and it manages to be a good SCP and a good GOC format, it's interesting to get both perspectives on the same entity. It's hard to get your head around at time, but then it is about time travel (even if they won't admit it in-universe), so the fact that it makes any sense is an achievement.

Last edited on 10 Feb 2023 07:52 by Jerden Show more

An author post, because it seems like everybody does one.

Cauchynambour 03 Feb 2023 17:27

First, a quick track for you to listen while reading the skip, the post, or both. First, a huge thanks to my partner in crime Luke mcDonut, but also to everyone that helped, from critique to visual critique to logos, slashannemoo, SYTYCFanon, Navla, Dc_Yerko and Dr Lekter in disorder.

Then...

It's been a ride, goddamn! The idea was born a bit more than a month ago, when I was speaking with Luke mcDonut and Siddartha Alonne about a new canon on Eurtec I was working on, and they talked me about a character on IT called the Courier. As I am a sucker for Kavinsky and Initial D, and I love time paradoxes, it immediately dug into my mind, so much that I was thinking about a GOC casefile before the contest. And then it arrived, and with it the opportunity both to collab with Luke, that is both a writer I admire and a person I like, and also a way for me to improve my somewhat dogshit English level, especially when it comes to writing prose.

Let's break down some points about the skip:

— The SCP object is not from me, but is an already existing character Luke mcDonut created. If you want to know more about him, please refer to the tag the-courier that should soon be created, as it now fills the requirements for a character tag on -IT.

— The switch from Sigma-9 to BHL is intentional. It is supposed to depict the difference between SCP Foundation and UNGOC, especially regarding technology and futuristic setup. While it is reflected in the fact that SCP can't detect Aspect Radation coming from the entity while GOC can without effort, or with the spies part, I think this theme difference should be kept in translation. If BHL ain't allowed on you wiki, please DM me, I have an EX OFFICIO translation to Sigma-9 on my sandbox. If Sigma-9 is banned, then… I don't know, but I don't think it's a good idea.

— There are three redacted or lost parts in the document: two in the SCP file, one in the GOC. It is up to you to get why and to imagine what could this hide. I have a theory, but it's not worth more than any other one created by some reader. If you want to expand on it, feel free to do.

— This article is about collaborations in collaborations. On the SCP part, what we can see are collaboration issues on different levels: MTF agents, departments, entire Branches. While sometimes aggressive, all of these are driven by a identical goal: to secure, contain and protect. On the GOC part, while the collaboration seem easier because their is no conflict in the documents, they are way more unnatural and are due to various objectives: politics, paratech, profit. Lastly, the GOC-SCP collaboration is clearly unwanted by both parties: while SCP Foundation seem to feel robbed and maybe hides some infos to the Gocks, UNGOC is very scornful towards them and even sends spies to their "partners".

— At last: this article is part of a canon/series/whatever from me that is called EMBARGO. It's about Eurtec being the target of a dimensional embargo from GOC for various reasons and that evolves in a radically different direction. If you are interested by what you saw in this article, feel free to DM me on wikidot or Discord. Some translations of this setup are incoming.

Maxyfran73 08 Feb 2023 01:01

Aight, I sort of… Like it I think? I have issues with the structure, mainly the SCP/GOC duality going on. So, I didn't like the SCP bit that much, and really liked the GOC one, but felt kinda repetitive cuz a substantial amount of the info in the GOC one was in the SCP.

The SCP bit was a tad dry, and I feel like it stretched out for longer than it could've been. The corpse side of things also didn't fit as well into the rest of the piece, although it seems the Courier is like that as a concept, so I suppose it just didn't gel well together with the article itself. Encounters 2 and 3, with the first talk with the Courier and the fire were cool, albeit the movie bits were a tad cheesy, but overall fine. Would recommend removing the repeating Branch logos in here though; they were a bit distracting.

'On the nature' was a tad longer than it should have been, especially as the piece was long already, and the redactions, both in the skip and the gock bits were annoying. The ending of the skip was… Odd; it clearly connects to the next bit, but by the end of the gock bit, I don't feel as though it was resolved.

No complaints about the gock bit; it is a tad long and repetitive, but it has a lot of flavor and soul to it, especially thanks to the many members of the council jumping into the article to aid the pacing.

Overall… I think this piece would have benefited from a separation: Finishing the skip properly, and making the gock bit a separate article, because the repetition in the latter really hurts it, and it feels like it could've worked on its own.

Think it's a novote. Not a fan of the skip part, but the gock bit was plenty good.

Cauchynambour 08 Feb 2023 20:02

Thanks a lot for the comment! It's really cool to have such explanations on your feelings about the skip.

I'll try to be short this time

So, let's break it down a bit 'cause I'm quite slow. The SCP part is indeed "long" (shorter than my average but I guess that's on me, I like to be exhaustive). I don't really get what you meant about the corpse part, was it that the Corpse List ain't fitting in or the even fact that some people perceive it as a corpse was weird? As a quick anecdote, the Breathless quote is my own favourite movie quote (but I am cheesy myself so heh). About the logo, I already reduced them both in size and opacity, but I guess it's not enough, some people thought I did too much so it may be an unsolvable case.

The theoretical part was here to make crystal clear both how the Courier works and how does the Foundation know: for the first one I've been criticised in the past for not being clear enough about the anomaly, and for the second one I'm personally irritated when SCPF intel does not match with what has been written down. Lastly, about the end it's a bit of a mystery with hints in the GOC file: why did some information have been censored in the name of a protocol that appears nowhere, why does Italo have paranoia over messages, why does the anomaly classifies as Keter when containing it has been proven to be dangerous and should thus be classified as Archon? It's almost as if this collaboration did not go well at all. Anyways, thanks again for such detailed response !

DrJohannes 09 Feb 2023 09:49

I just spent more than an hour trying to fix some of the grammatical errors, typos and awkward phrasings, but English isn't my first language and I'm sure there's plenty of them left. Sorry about that.

Apart from that, the skip never really justifies its own (very meandering) length, doesn't do a lot with its ideas (which I find surprising considering, again, how long the article is), and as a result the SCP part doesn't have an actual ending, and the punchline in the GOC part is kind of weak.

Sorry, but in its current form, this is a downvote for me.

Ethagon 11 Feb 2023 20:51

I also have to agree that this is longer than it needs to be and a bit repetitive at some points. It would probably benefit from cutting some stuff both in the SCP and the GOC version. There was still a lot of stuff I found fun enough throughout. Seeing the Mouse along with all these other secret conspiracy logos was hilarious. +1

Crow-Cat 14 Feb 2023 03:51

Oh I really liked the SCP file: the anomaly is such a delightful character, both in function and personality, and I love love how he's just plain confusing for the Foundation to understand; I'm always a fan when anomalies don't fit into the standard little boxes for why it's anomalous (Humes, magic, etc. Also the Theoretical Undeath Bureau getting frustrated with it lol) and it's executed here wonderfully. And even when they say it's "the conceptual embodiment of delivery," it feels less like the hard truth and more so just their best guess.

In contrast, I didn't really like the GOC file, which I think might be due to their focus on the car instead of the driver. I liked how the Courier continued to be unscrupulous (the "Pure Variable" line is great), I just didn't find the GOC's motivations (mass produce time-cars) personally interesting. Still though, it doesn't take away from how much I enjoyed the first half. +1!