GpExpress: Phy-Ele-T169534964, dado bought a key boar
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Search GP/Phy-Ele-T169534964


Delivery Info
Date of
Receipt
2018-10-28 Recipient DADA DADO (all capitals by recipient request)
Address ███ ██████████
Portland, ME █████
USA
(details redacted by recipient request)
Fees $60 $0
Sender Anderson Robotics Co.
john doe (all lowercase by recipient request)
Service
Type
Standard Delivery
Delivery
Status
Delivery complete Receipt
Type
Electronic
Delivery # GP/Phy-Ele-T169534964
Package
Type
Physical (Solid) - Electronic Product
Specifications 80 cm × 60 cm × 30 cm box, weight ~5 kg, quantity 1
Goods
Description


anderson_robotics_by_sunnyclockwork.png

Anderson Ultra-Thin Cool Choco SDZFR-6568
Black Caracara-type convertible neural keyboard with automatic text generation
Explosion protection, dust protection, auto-repair of physical damage,
specialized exorcism field version

Comes with shake reduction mechanical case equipped with thaumaturgical circuit repair capabilities


Special
Requirements


1. Deliver according to standard procedure.

2. The content of this parcel possesses the ability to transform into an intelligent mechanical black caracara. It should be released from its box in a safe region to enable its activity.

3. The recipient has not opted out of allowing personnel to interact with the object. When interacting, please note:

a. Do not attempt to feed the object.
b. Do not turn on or use the object's WiFi capabilities.
c. Do not debate politics, religion, immigration, or whether Trump is secretly a Lizard Man.
d. Do not oil or wax the object. Do not lift its metal wings.
e. The object will glow when transforming. Do not interrupt this process.
f. Do not request the object to perform documentation work; using it to write short stories is permitted.
g. The object comes equipped with self-preservation programs. Please provoke the object carefully.

Notes


1. This object generates an exorcism field. Do not deliver this package together with any demonic products.

2. The assigned employee is to look out for the following logos or features on any possible pursuers:

logo-color.png

a. UIU: Due to the route, an electronics transit tax will be levied by the United States for the package's entry into Three Portlands. Do not attack or argue with UIU law enforcement personnel. Pay the relevant taxes if necessary.

SPMax.png

b. Maxwellists: Due to an upcoming esports event hosted by Letters Entertainment, be on guard for Maxwellist groups attempting to steal the item in transit. Pay close attention to anomalies in attached electronics and do not connect to public WiFi.

SpiritIcon.jpg

c. The Chicago Spectre: The Chicago Spectre has long disliked the sender, and may attack the delivery team. If the object is stolen, it may be repurchased, or a replacement package can be obtained from the sender. All monetary costs will be borne by GpExpress.

GOC-Logo-v4.png

d.GOC: You know what, just do whatever you want, the object is already set to standard protection.


Level III Security Protocol has been requested, and a thaumaturgical explosive is to be worn.






§ Status Updates §





Time Package Status
Oct.28 2018
10:40 et
Package received by GpExpress distribution center #3, PORTLAND, OR, USA
Oct.28 2018
10:46 et
Package has left PORTLAND, OR, USA for GpExpress distribution center #5, PORTLAND, ME, USA.
Oct.28 2018
12:50 et
Package has arrived at THREE PORTLANDS. Delivery vehicle has been stopped by UIU.
Oct.28 2018
13:19 et
Tax paid. Delivery vehicle has been released by UIU.
Oct.28 2018
14:50 et
Package has arrived at GpExpress distribution center, THREE PORTLANDS for transfer to GpExpress distribution center #5, PORTLAND, ME, USA.
Oct.28 2018
15:24 et
Package content has flown away. We apologize for the inconvenience. We are tracking the object. We will update you by phone at ██████. Please be on standby for calls.
Oct.28 2018
15:27 et
Package content has been successfully located. We will update you by phone at ██████. Please be on standby for calls.
Oct.28 2018
15:40 et
Your package content has been found in combat with another sentient product from the same sender. A technologist from the sender is on their way to the location.
Oct.28 2018
16:05 et
Your package has been successfully recontained. The sender, ANDERSON ROBOTICS CO., expresses their apologies and has taken responsibility for the shipping fees. GpExpress has refunded you $20.00.
Oct.28 2018
16:13 et
Delivery vehicle has been attacked by cake thrown by AWCY members. We will update you by phone at ██████. Please be on standby for calls.
Oct.28 2018
16:53 et
The problem has been resolved. Your package is being washed.
Oct.28 2018
17:00 et
Delivery vehicle has been stopped by UIU. An oral confession is being recorded. Expect delays in delivery time. We will call you by phone at ██████. Please be on standby for calls.
Oct.28 2018
17:14 et
Delivery vehicle has been released and is leaving THREE PORTLANDS.
Oct.28 2018
15:20 et
Delivery vehicle has left THREE PORTLANDS, and is currently headed towards GpExpress distribution center #5, PORTLAND, ME, USA.
Oct.28 2018
17:53 et
Your package has arrived at GpExpress distribution center #5, PORTLAND, ME, USA. Last-leg delivery is being arranged. Please be on standby for calls.
Oct.28 2018
18:07 et
Your package has been dispatched towards █████ ███████, PORTLAND, ME, USA. Please be on standby for calls.
Oct.28 2018
18:24 et
Package received. Thank you for using GpExpress services.
Oct.28 2018
18:24 et
Package returned. Thank you for using GpExpress services.







§ Addendum §







Email Record Gp-TD-5565
10/28/2018
From moc.todikiw|odad#moc.todikiw|odad To moc.sserpxepg|osalay#moc.sserpxepg|osalay

hello anyone there
this is dodo

dado biggest supermarket dado go


Email Record Gp-TD-5566
10/28/2018
From moc.todikiw|odad#moc.todikiw|odad To moc.sserpxepg|osalay#moc.sserpxepg|osalay

no this is dado yes

home of dado fine pharmaceuticals amazon store


Email Record Gp-TD-5567
10/28/2018
From moc.todikiw|odad#moc.todikiw|odad To moc.sserpxepg|osalay#moc.sserpxepg|osalay

u are very slow

dado fine capitalist laundry and tan


Email Record Gp-TD-5568
10/28/2018
From moc.todikiw|odad#moc.todikiw|odad To moc.sserpxepg|osalay#moc.sserpxepg|osalay

dado now have hamster no longer need capital key boar

dado and wondertainmenttm's little company(still no pill mister)


Email Record Gp-TD-5568
10/28/2018
From moc.todikiw|odad#moc.todikiw|odad To moc.sserpxepg|osalay#moc.sserpxepg|osalay

wait this not preview

random signature generator


[Repeated emails deleted.]



Email Record Gp-TD-5621
10/28/2018
From moc.todikiw|odad#moc.todikiw|odad To moc.sserpxepg|osalay#moc.sserpxepg|osalay

have you received? now dado mouse goes wrong
please aszfersdv wait dadobsdfseadfdc hold on hamster on keyboard xx

dado fine company


[Meaningless emails deleted.]



Email Record Gp-TD-5627
10/28/2018
From moc.todikiw|odad#moc.todikiw|odad To moc.sserpxepg|osalay#moc.sserpxepg|osalay

have you received? now dado mouse goes wrong so be faster next time

dado short term loan and videotape rental






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