lunch with Leïla and Ada tomorrow at Bastille and youre coming too cause Ada wants to introduce us to a friend, its non-negotiable xx
Introduce us to a friend
yeah the homeless bartender she told you about
Oh the dumpster-lifting guy?
thats the one
Don't wait for me for dinner I've been asked to go and do something near gare du nord
not at all worrying of course
No it’s not what you think, I’m gonna meet a street artist who’s gonna explain something to me
oh ok i see
please be careful
btw i stole a calendar at work since you wanted one
i just realized weve been together for like two years isnt that crazy
you werent home tonight
call me ok
Astro? its been three days
you said you wouldnt do the disappearing act thing again
Sorry
Sometimes I have a hard time dealing with things uh emotionally
I can't even promise it won't happen again
i dont even get why you do it
And I don't get why you put up with me
you know damn well why i put up with you you fucking asshole
and dont make me write it again please its cringe
You're wasting your time with me you deserve better
You're wasting your life with a fucking freak who can't give you anything
lmao what should I say then
You're not the one who's genetics says so
fuck klinefelter
fuck your chromosomes
genetics is just a big fat whore ok
Watch your mouth
oh yeah sorry Astro
sex workers are very respectable and contribute positively to society. let me try again
hm hm. genetics is a jailer
I'm starting to regret teaching you that word
I had to leave early but I left you a paper
Could you contact Theo and tell him about this job, it's also in a bar, but since it's not a uh uh normal job, I don't want you to give him the contacts by text, you never know
Just give him the paper ok?
ohhhhh secret mission! :D
That but unironically
secret mission secret mission secret mission
Cyril did you forget to take your meds
no wtf are you implying
Real talk I'd like to tell him about the store that K. told me about but it's too much sensitive information at once for a guy I don't trust completely yet
Théo is nice though
Everyone seems nice at first glance that doesn't mean anything
I mean look at your mother
true
[37 messages deleted]
I already asked you not to text about this stuff
sorry
You never know who might read it
yeah yeah sorry
i just had too much hype
Weren't you supposed to go to work?
promise you wont get mad
Uh that depends but yes
i quit
??
the boss wanted to lay me off because the other day i was in the storeroom crying after a difficult call where someone yelled at me and i yelled back
i quit first i don't even want to go talk to him
youre not replying
youre mad
I just don't get it
Well you'll find something else I guess
yes i promise
Please ask your shrink to fix your meds though
yes yes
thank you for not being mad
[5 messages deleted]
Ada asked me again if she could come with us this weekend
Look you know I really like her too but her reactions are uh
Hard to predict and I'm wary
its been several years now
Sometimes I throw out a couple of sentences about anomalous things as some kind of test just to see how she reacts but I'm not convinced
Especially since she's with Theo now
all the more reason for her to not be a snitch
Look
I don’t know
What if she punches me
shes not like that
You would say that
weve been friends for ages and ive seen her break things
but never hit people
She scares me
youre two heads taller than her
Still
-_-U
Happy anniversary
its not my bday
Anniversary of uh when we first started to date
oh


wtf you kept screenshots?? help i cant
Still not over it after three years I have to admit
yeah that was cringe wasnt it lol
Cringe is dead I pissed on its grave
Except for your flirting technique with Voulzy
Still cringe
wtf xD
Anyway I came back early
I made some chocolate cookies
why is everything always about food or magic whenever youre involved
Listen those are the only two emotional languages I've mastered over the years
lol
♥
[34 messages deleted]
Where are you?
ill be there soon the train was cancelled and I had to go to the pharmacy too
the guy changed my prescription im gonna take something lighter now
Oh that's cool
^^
Can I ask you a tough question
yeah yeah of course
You never explained to me why you were hurting yourself in the first place
I mean ok you were in a bad place mentally but at what point does that help instead of making things worse
You don't have to answer right now, we can talk about it at home if you like
Cyril?
im still here i was just thinking
its easier to talk about it through a screen actually i think
when i was hurting myself all the other stuff would fade away you know? my shitty family and my grades and being a fucking loser and all that stuff would fade into the background and i could focus on something else entirely
it gave me some kind of illusion of momentary invincibility
you see while you are doing it you know exactly why it hurts and you have full control over it
unlike all the other stuff you cant control in your life
youre the boss and nobody else is
its your body and you do whatever you want with it and nobody can do anything about it, in the moment thats your mindset and it seems like a good thing even if in reality it sucks
i see you writing i know youre gonna say its a very dangerous mindset
i know ok
i know
thats why im still seeing a shrink ok
Sorry
sorry for what
I'm not sure
I don't know
I really don't know what to say, I'm sorry for asking the question in the first place
You know I suck at the 'comforting' stuff
i know
thats part of your charm lol
I'm glad you're over it though
partly thanks to you
ill be there in 10 minutes
♥
♥
how do you learn the trick that the guy who walks on the shelves did the other day
thats so cool
Uh I'm not sure, he's just a minor reality bender who sometimes hangs around
From what I understand he's just too lazy to use a ladder
ok but how can i learn how to do that
I think people are born like that? It’s not really my field of expertise
There are hyper invasive methods to acquire these abilities too but they really suck
ah
You're disappointed
yeah
i want to say fuck gravity too lol
I'm not here Friday night, they're having a party and I have to manage the entrances, I’ll sleep there afterwards
would you lend me the handkerchief if you're not here I want to read a book about you know what
and could you make one for me
a handkerchief
I can't make you one I don't know the process
The handkerchief is not mine, I got it from a friend working for the S.H.
oh
In a couple of years there's a chance I'll be able to start creating stable stuff but I don't have the confidence to try it right now, if I screw up I'll end up with only half of a boyfriend
not a problem
at least as long as you can keep the top half
Cyril no
Ok so I told K. about Théo and she wants him to go to a job interview for the store, you know the one
ohhh thats great
haha I just pictured her with her branches sticking out of her hair giving an interview
lol she won’t be the one doing the interview ok
I thought that knowing about the store would be a good first step to get Ada in the loop because I still feel guilty for not telling her anything
I mean, you get the idea
Anyway I left you a paper with some coordinates to give to him, you know the drill
SECRET MISSION
lmao
a question ive been asking myself since the other day
your friend who gave you the handkerchief, will we see him one day?
he could teach me
I don't think we’ll ever see him I cut ties with him years ago
why
Not sure I can explain
what did he do
Nothing
He was a really good friend
I just didn't deserve him, that’s all
i told you before but i have no fucking clue how you manage your relationships and it doesnt reassure me regarding ours
No you’re special ok
The archivist told me to tell you that you have one week left to turn in "resurgence of the art of transdimensional voyage in the 20th century" or else
He didn't say or else *what*, but yeah
Incidentally I saw your carp again and I think my carp could kick its ass
Not even saying that in a macho way or anything, just a thought that came to me
e_ê
Oh and apparently it's official, we can put Ada in the loop
really? At last
i cant take the dumb shit i have to invent about what i do on my weekends with you anymore
especially since my sister blocked me cause i can't even use her as an excuse now
RIP
no its ok really
fuck them all
to hell with their bullshit
masters gave Cyril homophobia, Cyril is a free elf
Ada has a bad influence on you
i never read these books, thats the worst part
[11 messages deleted]
Next time we go you know where I'll show you a cool spot
I can't say everything in texts and you know it but
There are monoliths like uhh like the guy you were talking about a few months ago, let’s say
I can't believe this is routine for you I'll never get used to it
my hype is real
almost crying rn
You think seeing stuff like that is routine for me
I'll never get used to it either or I would have stopped a long time ago
i dont have anything that crazy to share with you, thats the worst part
i feel useless
You have normal life to share with me and I'll never understand how it works
And I don’t know how to deal with it
That cog is missing in my brain lol I didn't get the manual
We complement each other well I would say
Cyril?
nothing i just dont know what to say
im happy
we received the tax notices
Great
Or not
lol
hey i thought about something while checking the notices, since its been four years already
i looked at how it works and it would be super simple to get a civil solidarity pact, actually
that would be better for the taxes, wouldn't it?
i dont know, we could even make a little event out of it
we dont even have to consider it as a romantic thing if you dont want to, it can be purely paperwork eh
Astro?
i put a book that i have to return on your table
Ok
thank you for returning the book
do you want to make pancakes? i never learned how to make them but you could teach me
eh I found the file on my old mp3 player lol

you said we would go you know where to see a thing, do we have a date or not? it's been a while
youve barely been home lately and youre not answering my messages anymore
are you ok?
Astro? Please answer me
I think we need to take a break
what did i do
did i say something wrong
hey?
Astro please its been two days please answer
Astro i respect your choice to take a break but at least tell me what i said or did
at least tell me what i did wrong
how can i fix what i did if you dont explain it to me
listen i dont know what I said or did but im sorry
im sorry Astro
say something I beg you
i dont know what to do
its been a week now
Astro?