Tableo and Chaiet
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Throughout history, our reddish world had never seen such magnificence and splendor as that of the nation of Ikea in those times. Everyone knew its immense, infinite and endearing paths; its exquisite gastronomy worthy of the Nordic empires; and its countless cities, where every piece of wood could find its corner. But among all those places, the war bells of the community of Matsal were especially remarkable.

In an atmosphere of hatred and resentment, the majestic Matsal was inhabited by two families whose lineages went down in history: Äppelträds and Kastenjeträds. Their numerous conflicts in search of honor and glory, in spite of everything, were sometimes interrupted by a meeting between the two families, which, however reluctantly, had to be done for the good of Matsal. And it was on a Friday at one of these meetings that the unthinkable happened, something that would change Matsal's fate.

The Äppelträds were a family proud of their past, prideful, irascible and audacious, and for this reason the figure of Tableo of Äppelträd had always gone unnoticed. He was a cheerful and dreamy young man, idealistic and humble, with an ochre-colored complexion like that of his relatives. However, he was also a rebellious beardless boy, something that once caused him a mishap with his desk teacher, which left him with a limp on his left leg, requiring him to carry a piece of paper in order to keep his balance.

In that unmemorable meeting, while chatting with his inseparable friend Merlitio, Tableo found what he had never thought to look for. In a corner of the room stood Chaiet, the most graceful of all the Kastenjeträds. Tableo's soul was overflowing, unable to stop admiring her, without even realizing that she was a Kastenjeträd. And it was when their eyes met that the candles were all extinguished, and in the moonlight their hearts burned as one.

Tableo came to realize at the end of that meeting that he could never express his feelings to any inhabitant of Matsal, so the next night he slipped out of his quarters and went to Chaiet's balcony, where he found her singing to the stars.

"Oh, my. Tableo, why are you, Tableo? Renounce your stump, or else swear that you love me, and I will renounce mine. What is Äppelträd? It is not a leg, nor a corner, nor a screw, nor a splinter. What then is there in your name? Oh, Tableo, renounce your trees and take me whole as a reward!"

"I'll take your word for it," interrupted Tableo. "From now on I will never ever be Tableo.

"Oh, Tableo, how did you get here, if my home is guarded by indigo arrows and plasma TVs? If they find you here, they'll kill you!"

"I see more danger in your backrest than in their wires."

Then, after a long conversation based on declarations of love and oaths, Tableo decided to climb the infrangible escalators, which descended from the balcony, but which were no obstacle to their infinite love. Only the humans that adorned the walls of Chaiet's room, to her good fortune, were able to witness such a formidable encounter.

At dawn, Chaiet lay under Tableo's lap, with her legs intertwined with his logs. But Tableo had to leave before he was found to be missing. And that morning, unfortunately, was the most fateful for that ideal romance. It was that morning that Chaiet's father arranged the marriage between his daughter and a Kastenjeträd gentleman, Parerko. The event was to take place that very afternoon, but Chaiet quickly conceived a plan.

The event went as planned, although Tableo had no knowledge of anything about it. However, hours later when the newlyweds arrived at the bridal room, it didn't take long for Parerko to sit on Chaiet. But he didn't just sit down in any ordinary way, bearing in mind that it was the first time he had ever sat down. He sat excellently, leaning entirely on Chaiet's back while his legs stretched comfortably over hers. It was probably the best sitting that would ever have taken place in Ikea, but Chaiet failed to appreciate the greatness of that act, and so she pretended to fall over, as she had planned. She thought that if her family considered her to be broken, she could run away with Tableo.

However, shortly after the news spread that Chaiet had collapsed, Father Fönstret of Trädgårdsskötsel, who was aware of the platonic love between Tableo and Chaiet, went to explain to Tableo what had happened. When he realized that his beloved could no longer be with him, he stripped himself of the piece of paper that gave him support, and so he fell and all his legs broke. Chaiet went to Tableo's room to escape with him, but when she realized the atrocious destiny of her eternal beloved, her splinters burst and her soul fractured. Chaiet saw no other outcome than to climb on Tableo's debris and plunge to the pavement, where the timbers of two lovers would be incinerated together for eternity. Table and chair forever together.

- William Staplerspeare -

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