Name: Luis Córdoba
Title: Global Warming made it Easier to Break the Ice
Material Requirements:
- A talking blue penguin. (I already have it)
- A corral.
- One kilogram of fish.
Abstract: The exhibit would consist of the penguin - which can talk - engaging in conversation with the visitors. The penguin's chatter usually consists of compliments - for both men and women - that range from average to awful - such as "Did you fall from my head? 'Cause you're a cootie" or "Most people call me Colgate, ‘cause 9 out 10 dentists recommended putting me in your mouth" - but that still serve their purpose. The fish is for visitors to feed the penguin while they talk to him.
Intent: I created this penguin one day and I want to make the most of it. Besides, I think it would be fun.
From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon
To: krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c#krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c
Subject: Re:Project Proposal
…
Are you serious?
I have seen, approved and rejected many weird and stupid proposals throughout my entire career; but this is so bad that you made me use ellipses to show my disbelief. So I ask you, just to make sure, if this isn't a bad joke on my behalf. Which I hope it is.
From: krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c#krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c
To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon
Subject: Re:Re:Project Proposal
Good morning, Mr. Critic. I'm sorry, but this is not a joke, although I understand why you think that, since I didn't phrase it in the best way.
I know that it may not be the best exhibition in this gallery, or perhaps in all the galleries that have ever existed or ever will exist, but it will be memorable to say the least.
Many people expect everything we exhibit to be big, serious and to have a deep critique of something. That's why my piece would end up standing out above the rest, because of how simple it is. It's a talking blue penguin, there's no greater meaning than that. But visitors will see it and think, "Why?" and they'll go around in their head with that question. They will want to look for its hidden meaning, its critique, its BIG message, but they won't find it because there isn't one.
It won't be like those pieces where they tape a banana to the wall, exhibit animal corpses in formaldehyde or whatever crap someone calls "contemporary art" to make a pseudo-critique of the decadence of current art, society, politics or whatever they can think of, only to sell it for millions of dollars. This will be a genuine critique of contemporary art and its over-meaning.
And as I said, there will be plenty of laughter. And laughter is more likely to be remembered than criticism.
From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon
To: krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c#krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c
Subject: Re:Re:Re:Project Proposal
…
I would like to ask you a question, where did you get the penguin?
From: krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c#krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c
To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon
Subject: Re:Re:Re:Re:Project Proposal
I created it as part of a bet I made with a friend of mine at a party. I won the bet, although now I don't know what to do with it and it annoys me quite a bit here at home. In fact, the title of the proposal was the penguin's idea.
From: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon
To: krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c#krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c
Subject: Decision on the Project.
Mr. Córdoba, I am contacting you to inform you that your Project Proposal 2024-111 has been REJECTED as it did not meet even the most minimal of artistic standards.
Next time you want to be an idiot and present crap as art (or as ready-made if we want to get technical), please kill yourself to free the world, and especially me, from your idiocy.
Thank you.
From: krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c#krd.liamhcrot|s1ulab0dr0c
To: krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon#krd.liamhcrot|citircasydobon
Subject: Re:Decision on the Project.
It wasn't that bad either.