Project Proposal 2024-036: "Suck my dick"
rating: +1+x

The following Proposal is to be read with the voice of Nicolás Maduro. Thank you for your consideration.

V. S.

Project Proposal 2024-036: "Suck my dick"

Name: Valeria Amador

Title: "Suck my dick"; or, "The institutional critique takes the form of the temporary or non-transferable approaches of painting and sculpture, architectural alterations and interventions, and performative gestures and language intended to disrupt the otherwise clear operation of galleries and museums, and the professionals who manage them"; or, "Fuck you, conservative"; or, "I can't believe you idiots don't put a limit on how many titles I can give to this fucking bullshit proposal"; or, "No, seriously, suck my dick"; or, "The Shitting."

Material Requirements:

  • A blank canvas
  • Kerosene
  • A lighter
  • An ornate gold frame (already in my possession)
  • Laxatives (already in my possession)
  • The greasiest food you can find for me (must be provided 4 hours before the gallery opens)

Abstract: I'm going to take off my pants and I'm going to shit on the canvas. Then I'll set fire to the shit-covered canvas and sing the following lyrics:

Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena
Heeeeey Macarena

(repeat twice)

Because anartists are all idiots, this will be praised as a comment on the state of something deeper than it really is, and I'll be showered with accolades.

Once the shit has burned off, I'll place what's left of the canvas in the gold frame and call it my masterpiece. Since it's in a golden frame, the latter cannot be denied. My burnt shit will be my masterpiece.

Bids for the purchase of this piece start at 50 000 euros.

Intent: Go fuck yourselves, scumbags. This isn't nearly as disgusting as what Ruiz was allowed to do in his last show.

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