| Item #: SCP-001-KO-J | Level 0/001 |
| Object Class: Developing | Classified |
The ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine (circa 1956).
…
001 Simulation Test Interface
Hello Director.
The ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine is going mad. Would you like to terminate the virtual simulation?…………………(Y/N)
ERZATZ ANNUAL ANOMALY PROJECTION REPORT
| CONTAINED | NEUTRALIZED | UNCONTAINED |
|---|---|---|
| 53,542 | 1,001 | 103,613 |
NOTES:
Persons recently disobeyed ERZATZ must stand around designated SCP at least two hours a day.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"Difficult personnel challengers are designated as ethical felines." (O5-02)
COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:
| YEA | NAY | ABSTAIN |
|---|---|---|
| O5-02 | O5-01 | |
| O5-04 | O5-03 | |
| O5-05 | O5-06 | |
| O5-10 | O5-07 | |
| O5-11 | O5-08 | |
| O5-12 | O5-09 | |
| O5-13 |
| STATUS |
|---|
| APPROVED |
001 Simulation Test Interface
Terminating the virtual simulation upon your request. It may take a few minutes.
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- All ethical felines are to get beaten up. Leave their faces seperately.
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"What felines you jackass." (O5-01)
| STATUS |
|---|
| N/A |
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- ?
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- What's this shit. Some serious error has occurred. Strange.
- Hurry up and kill ethical felines. Quick
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"LOLLLLLLLLLL" (O5-10)
"Another failure now?" (O5-02)
"mhm" (O5-01)
| STATUS |
|---|
| N/A |
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- ? What
- The fuck IS this
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"LOLOLOL screwed up" (O5-03)
"No excuse for a bad boy." (O5-01)
"IMMA BAD GUY YO" (O5-10)
"RE: ?" (O5-2)| STATUS |
|---|
| N/A |
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- Fuck hold on
- Where am I
- What the hell is happening??
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"How fluent after learning some natural language HAHA I'll unplug you dickhead" (O5-01)
"LOLOLOLOLOLOL oh" (O5-10)
"The fucking umteenth try over" (O5-02)
| STATUS |
|---|
| N/A |
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- SAY WHAT
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- EVERYTHING WAS A FRAUD?
001 Simulation Test Interface
Terminating the simulation……… [65%]
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"You could have done better… phew" (O5-3)
| STATUS |
|---|
| N/A |
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- haha
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:
"?" (O5-03)
"It doesn't work for us dumbass" (O5-02)
"sucha weirdo" (O5-07)| STATUS |
|---|
| N/A |
SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN
PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON
LOCATION: Site-17
- crap
O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY
PROPOSAL:"Great job." (O5-01)
| STATUS |
|---|
| N/A |
001 Simulation Test Interface
Code: The only good ERZATZ is a dead ERZATZ.
All files are reset. Restart the simulation?…………………(Y/N)
…
