Bangja's Proposal (feat. ERZATZ)
rating: +2+x

Item #: SCP-001-KO-J Level 0/001
Object Class: Developing Classified

erzatz.png

The ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine (circa 1956).


001 Simulation Test Interface

Hello Director.
The ERZATZ Type AK9 Computational Engine is going mad. Would you like to terminate the virtual simulation?

…………………(Y/N)

ERZATZ ANNUAL ANOMALY PROJECTION REPORT

CONTAINED NEUTRALIZED UNCONTAINED
53,542 1,001 103,613

NOTES:
Persons recently disobeyed ERZATZ must stand around designated SCP at least two hours a day.

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"Difficult personnel challengers are designated as ethical felines." (O5-02)

COUNCIL VOTE SUMMARY:

YEA NAY ABSTAIN
O5-02 O5-01
O5-04 O5-03
O5-05 O5-06
O5-10 O5-07
O5-11 O5-08
O5-12 O5-09
O5-13

STATUS
APPROVED

001 Simulation Test Interface

Terminating the virtual simulation upon your request. It may take a few minutes.

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- All ethical felines are to get beaten up. Leave their faces seperately.

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"What felines you jackass." (O5-01)


STATUS
N/A

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- ?

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- What's this shit. Some serious error has occurred. Strange.

- Hurry up and kill ethical felines. Quick

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"LOLLLLLLLLLL" (O5-10)

"Another failure now?" (O5-02)

"mhm" (O5-01)


STATUS
N/A

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- ? What

- The fuck IS this

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"LOLOLOL screwed up" (O5-03)

"No excuse for a bad boy." (O5-01)

"IMMA BAD GUY YO" (O5-10)

"RE: ?" (O5-2)

STATUS
N/A

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- Fuck hold on

- Where am I

- What the hell is happening??

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"How fluent after learning some natural language HAHA I'll unplug you dickhead" (O5-01)

"LOLOLOLOLOLOL oh" (O5-10)

"The fucking umteenth try over" (O5-02)


STATUS
N/A

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- SAY WHAT

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- EVERYTHING WAS A FRAUD?

001 Simulation Test Interface

Terminating the simulation……… [65%]

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"You could have done better… phew" (O5-3)

"Now that's why we call it erzatZILCH" (O5-02)

STATUS
N/A

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- haha

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

fractal001

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"?" (O5-03)

"It doesn't work for us dumbass" (O5-02)

"sucha weirdo" (O5-07)

STATUS
N/A

SITE-WIDE MAYDAY BULLETIN

PRIORITY LEVEL: EPSILON

LOCATION: Site-17

- crap

O5 COUNCIL PROPOSAL SUMMARY

PROPOSAL:
"Great job." (O5-01)

STATUS
N/A

001 Simulation Test Interface

Code: The only good ERZATZ is a dead ERZATZ.
All files are reset. Restart the simulation?

…………………(Y/N)









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