SCP-015-DE

Item #: SCP-015-DE

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-015-DE is to be assigned a standard office, furnished as usual. In addition, SCP-015-DE is assigned a secretary who takes care of the common paperwork, limits access to the office and answers phone calls, wherefore she is stationed in the outer office. Arming the secretary is not necessary. Surveillance of SCP-015-DE's office is not allowed, as this could not do its work then. Once a week, SCP-015-DE is provided with a bubble bath, which it may share with SCP-███ by allowance of O5-█. Working with SCP-015-DE has proven most effective, when extensive documentation is compiled and a professional tone is heeded. Regarding interaction with SCP-015-DE, special behavior rules have been put in place as of the 20██-██-██, listed in the section “Legal information”.

Description: SCP-015-DE is the replica of a specimen of the family of anatidae (ducks). The body color is that of a chicken fledgeling (yellow). SCP-015-DE is also equipped with eyeglasses, a stethoscope and a lab coat over a blue top. Rude scientists found the inscription “Seifenpalast GmbH und Co. OHG”¹ on the bottom side. SCP-015-DE is visually indistinguishable from other instances of the “Dr.”-type of this manufacturer.

SCP-015-DE has been proven to be a leading scientist of Department-██, as it leaves white-papers on the desks of its colleagues at regular intervals, and has the ability to lead colleagues to unimagined mental breakthroughs in scientific conversations through attentive listening.

Initially it was assumed this was a common psychological effect² and that the papers were a joke by an unknown prankster. Nevertheless, multiple dedicated experiments have shown that in cases of a convincing incorporation of Dr. Duck in real situations, a human female figure manifests, though with limited influence on its surroundings.

In a qualitatively especially authentic experiment in which Dr. D███ spend a candle-light-dinner with SCP-015-DE, “Dr. Duck” accomplished the consumption of a full glass of red wine and initiate mouth-to-mouth-contact with Dr. D███, which thereafter was described “as if you would kiss a bouncy ball”. Another, especially strong manifestation is documented in detail in Protocol No. 17/28a. These manifestations can only be perceived by individuals directly involved in the situation, while outsiders only see a maniac qualified colleague with a rubber duck. However it is possible to record this manifestations with a recording device calibrated according to Protocol 738³, so that by now the actual existence of SCP-015-DE as a real and acting entity is only rarely doubted, even by the greatest skeptics.

Legal information: As SCP-015-DE has been active in the Foundation for a considerable time, our legal department has employed a code of conduct, after receiving multiple complaints and SCP-015-DE carried out its threat to limit her scientific contributions to poetic descriptions of the floor: In that week the scientific output of Department-██ was reduced to a fraction.⁴

• Attempts to make SCP-015-DE “squeak” is regarded sexual harassment and results in mandatory attendance of a class with Dr. F███. Repeated offenses will result in a fine and demotion, or premature termination of service and reassignment to class D.
• Innuendos regarding SCP-015-DE nature as a replica of a duck, including puns and images, are regarded a discriminating insult according to paragraph 17a of our personnel regulations. If it is apparent that this happened intendedly, the first offense results in an entry in the personal records which cannot be removed earlier than after one year. Every further incident results in disciplinary measures. SCP-015-DE reserves civil action.

With addition to the SCP-015-DE report and the afore public memo, this rules of conduckt are regarded as mandatory and will hopefully result in a cessation of the offenses.
Note: Talk like that is exactly what you have to desist from. I will let it stand as a reminder and note that the author has been suspended for two weeks and was assigned as cleaner for SCP-████. Signed Dr. G████, director of the legal department.

Additional documentation
Protocol No. 17/28a [FILE NOT FOUND]

+ Excerpts of the personal notes of Dr. Monika Müller

Day 07
The incident with SCP-███ is one week ago now, and my initial hope that we would quickly find and antidote has not come true yet. As I fear this situation will have a negative influence on my mental health on the long run, I have decided to start writing a little diary, to emotionally cope better with the situation. It remains to be seen how things will go on, but I am thankful that Doctor Heinz has found a way to make paper accessible for me. It is relieving to me to be able to productively add to research - and lets it not seem fully impossible that I will eventually escape my misery.

[…]

Day 09
Director Neumann has approved my request for self-experiments, with which I will start today. Of course, that also means that I personally have to accept my new status as SCP, though I may choose the number. I am not sure if I should laugh or cry about this offer.

Day 10
As I do not really care for the number, My request for "Pi'' was to my surprise accepted without objection. They must have a guilty conscience upstairs. In my opinion that is absolutely justified.

[…]

Day 38
Today was my birthday. I am not sure what I had expected, but I feel down nonetheless. Although I cannot eat, or interact with physical objects in any way, it would have been nice if the colleagues would have arranged something symbolic. Instead it was a day like every other and the topic was pretermitted. I don't want to complain, but I miss my old life.

[…]

Day 60
I can't believe that Dr. Neumann removed Dr. Bern from the project as well. Now nobody is working on my re-transformation anymore. I do not really believe him that their work is more necessary elsewhere… Am I only a second-class employee now? A few months ago, my work has received awards and now I am an "also-ran''? No, I have to accept reality, to them I am just an SCP now, a number. It is only a matter of time until they blame me for something as a pretext to put me in one of these dreadful isolation units. Of course, only because I developed the necessary technology for those.
Can my "life'' become any shittier?

[…]

[No entry at day 64]

Day 65
Kept in perspective it was just a matter of time
Somehow it is ironic
The Revelation of St. John
[Indecipherable scribble]
…
Words fail me.

[No entries for the following 5 days]

Day 71
I think a week of distance has helped so now I know how to put it into words. On the 64th day after my fateful accident the world ended.

Unfortunately I was not at the place where it started, but I am relatively sure that SCP-███ was the cause - as it personally went to see me and claimed this, after trying to obliterate me, as the last remains of mankind, from face of the world, for a few hours.⁵
The world burns, figuratively and literally spoken, but here in Area 17-H it is calm, the facility is surprisingly resistant against the aftermath of the apocalypse. Some dangerous SCPs came free but that is kind of irrelevant, as there is no one left who they could pose a danger to.

In the absence of any employees I promoted myself to the boss of the organization, and gave me all clearances there are - who should now prevent my thereof anyway? After my accident has costed me my imminent promotion to the director of the scientific department, this feels oddly satisfying.
I really am fit for a psychiatrist, but I don't feel like performing a self-therapy.

I will now trudge round all facilities; maybe my firs assessment was wrong and somewhere a human being has survived - at least I am sure that in that case I will most likely make a find there.
Alternatively, I will look for a way to end my life (?), somewhere there probably is an SCP with which I can destroy myself in my etherical form.

[…]

Day 137
Today I asked the esteemed gentlemen the big question to get to the gist of matter: Why did he not offer me a contract yet? According to all documentation this is usually his only desire - but to me he did not even imply it even once.
He was silent for surprisingly long, then materialized a bottle of wine and two glasses from nowhere⁶ and told me in in a sober manner why he refrained from doing so yet.
I was right in my implication that I was the last human on earth, wherefore he has no interest to send me to eternal damnation, and even he has something like social needs and doesn't want to be bored to the next bang, well thanks a ton.

[…]

Tag 150
It had cost me a lot of persuasion, but in the end, we could agree to a payment that is worth enough so he can mobilize enough power to fulfill the part of the deal that I desire.
It would have been quicker could I pay with my soul but he pointed out that this would not work as I am nothing more than a soul now⁷. And no, souls appear to be indivisible.

Expressed simplified our deal is as follows:
He creates an anchor in a parallel universe in which he is still active, which will enable me to switch there. He cannot grant me full access but only depending on the situation. The more humans - including myself - in my perceivable surroundings are convinced of my presence and see it as plausible, the more I can change over; in ideal conditions I can be fully bodily present, just like before my accident. Which in the beginning probably only will be the case when my anchor is alone - but I can work with it. In return I underlie the following terms: For the time of day that I would sleep as a human, I must be here and accompany him.
In addition, I must actively work on settling a new humanity there, preferably in a peaceful way, as he prefers to seduce satisfied people.
Also, he may decide about the form of my anchor, but I doubt he will make up something all too mean, as it would be counterproductive for him should he make my work impossible.
Finally, I had to sign a declaration to cease and desist, which was harmless though. I need to know as I have read all 30,517 pages, most was just padding. Though the part with the checkbox you have to mark not to transfer him your soul after fulfillment of the contract was well hidden. Summed up the declaration says that I must not tell anyone in the other universe of the deal, my or his exact condition and I must not contact him there.

Morally my decision to go this way may be surely is not correct, but I would do anything to repay SCP-███ what it did to my world. I know his weakness.

Herewith I close my records. I hope that you, reader, can forgive me - but I doubt that anyone else in my situation had not made the proverbial deal with the devil.

Addendum:
A rubber duck. Ha-ha. So funny. I have seldom experienced such professionalism…

Footnotes

1. Soap-palace LLC

2. C.f. with the Rubber-Duck-Programming technique.

3. See article //Recording of parallel-worldly manifestations employing a camcorder and green film

4. To put it into relation: Before the strike the department was near the top in our ranking, during it it was down to 67th place - even behind Department-16 which is well known to research cotton balls.

5. I don't know why but this subject awakens my poetic side. Probably a coping-mechanism.

6. A Zinfandel from 2000s vintage. It was delicious.

7. Which has surprised exactly no one