SCP-030-DE-J

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  Article: SCP-030-DE-J - A Fart
  Original: May be found here
  Author: Pesti
  Translator: Karpfisch

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Item #: SCP-030-DE-J

Object Class: i think everything from Safe to Keter could fit the bill

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-030-DE-J is to be contained inside a standard isolation cell for humanoid entities that, except for a toilet, a table, a chair and one bed, contains no additional furnishings. However, requests for entertainment objects as per Protocol 030-DE-J-16 are to be accepted.

Apart from this, several directional microphones are installed and aligned in a way that the space beneath a height of 1 m can be precisely recorded and surveilled. All microphone recordings, especially those of volume peaks, must be archived in accordance with currently valid instructions.

The ventilation of the containment cell must completely exchange the interior air every 60 minutes. The extracted air has to be gathered in special containers and bottled upon request by Dr. Harald Strick and transported to the corresponding laboratory.

Despite the seemingly harmless appearance of SCP-030-DE-J, the containment cell must not be entered without special breathing equipment and hearing protection under any circumstances.

Description: SCP-030-DE-J describes a middle-aged man with a weight of ███ kg. Its anomalous property causes it to emit unnatural sounds in irregular intervals, the exact origin of which could not be completely ascertained thus far. Said sound is designated SCP-030-DE-J-1 and can range from trumpet-/horn-like to almost inaudible sibilants, frequently in company of a foul odor.

Examinations conducted with D-class personnel also revealed SCP-030-DE-J-1 to inhibit a potent cognitohazardous effect, which causes the subject exposed to it to laugh uncontrollably. Personal that could observe the reaction to SCP-030-DE-J-1 from a safe distance describes the exposed subject as "hysterically cackling" with "an irritatingly good mood" that is respectively "unpleasant" in the given situation. Test subjects were amnestitized after every exposure to SCP-030-DE-J-1, as the effect does not subside in the near term, with the personal's memories about the seriousness of the situation even increasing this effect. This led test subjects to laugh and joke about personal to such a degree that communication has become almost impossible.

We performed multiple tests with SCP-030-DE-J over the last few weeks to discover what causes the appearance of SCP-030-DE-J-1. It seems to be an uncontrolled effect, which makes SCP-030-DE-J a great danger, not only to its surroundings but also for itself. It turns out SCP-030-DE-J is equally liable to the mood-distorting effect as our test personal.

In any case, we found that whether SCP-030-DE-J-1 can occur in a higher frequency is dependent on the comestible goods SCP-030-DE-J consumes. Using the right combination of green beans and raw carrots, the probability of SCP-030-DE-J-1 occurrences can be increased. It also shows that the addition of onions to the diet of SCP-030-DE-J causes the smell of SCP-030-DE-J-1 to intensify. This seems to go hand in hand with the cognitohazardous effect that causes an increase in cheerfulness in test subjects and SCP-030-DE-J itself.

It remains unclear why this is the case. More tests follow.

-Dr Strick

Dr. Strick,

You are hopefully aware research into SCP-030-DE-J-1 and especially SCP-030-DE-J is itself part of a heated debate. I know this project is close to your heart, but we cannot justify it in front of the Ethics Committee any longer to have SCP-030-DE-J create SCP-030-DE-J-1 on purpose. Precisely because the effect of SCP-030-DE-J-1 also affects SCP-030-DE-J, we are unable to estimate how it really feels. Its joyfulness and laughter are an anomalous effect, and we cannot say with certainty that SCP-030-DE-J is not in agony. The samples already taken from indoor air should suffice to perform more tests. Currently, further testing on SCP-030-DE-J is not directly permitted!

-O4-█

I understand your objections and in order to gain a better understanding of SCP-030-DE-J-1's effect, we performed several tests with the extracted indoor air. You find relevant documentation inside the attachment.

-Dr. Strick

Test #.	Designation	Progression	Result
030.1	Olfactory examination	The indoor room of the isolation cell of SCP-030-DE-J was made available to D-personal for an olfactory examination. The test subjects are to describe the smell. Attention should be paid to whether mood-altering effects are occurring.	Only 8 % of test subjects reacted to the SCP-030-DE-J-1 odor in amusement. 67 % of test subjects described the smell as "old" or "rotten eggs". 83 % said SCP-030-DE-J-1 had a fecal-like smell.
030.2	Auditory Examination	The volume peaks in the sound recordings from the isolation cell of SCP-030-DE-2 are being played to D-personal. Attention should be paid to whether mood-altering effects are occurring.	86 % of test subjects reacted to the sound of SCP-030-DE-J-1 occurring with cheerfulness and laughter. 4 % reacted particularly intense, became hysterical, and had to be pacified by security personal. This leads to the conclusion that the mood-altering effect mainly materializes through sound not smell.

Further testing in form of chemical and psychical examinations follow.

I would like to remind you once again that no adapted diet may be assigned to SCP-030-DE-J, and SCP-030-DE-J-1 must occur independently. This decision can also not be reversed by the fact that your current supply of SCP-030-DE-J-1-contaminated indoor air is dwindling. The Ethics Committee allows no further adaptations of SCP-030-DE-J's diet, unless it has been demonstrated beyond doubt that it does not undergo suffering to produce SCP-030-DE-J-1.

-O4-█