Item #: SCP-050-INT
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: Provisional Site-11, located in Singapore, has been constructed for the purpose of housing Project Polyglot and the ongoing development of SCP-050-INT. Due to the memetic nature of many Project Polyglot research materials, staff entering and leaving the site are to undergo a week long quarantine and psychological evaluation. Until development of SCP-050-INT’s anti-memetic properties are completed, all information regarding Project Polyglot is considered Level 4 Classified.
As of 20/1/2022, a Tactical Theology Mobile Task Force trained in Akivan communications is to be stationed at Provisional Site-11.
Description: SCP-050-INT is an anomalous language created by the Foundation as part of Project Polyglot. Following a variety of incidents stemming from a lack of inter-organizational efficiency1, Project Polyglot was conceived as an effort to improve cooperation between different Foundation branches, and focused on several guiding principles.
- Universality - The creation of a language that could only be spoken, written and perceived by staff would allow for personnel of different nationalities to simply and quickly communicate. This would be facilitated with the simultaneous development of a memetic that grants those exposed to it instant fluency in SCP-050-INT.
- Security - As part of its creation, SCP-050-INT was interlaced with several anomalous qualities, allowing for its use as a secure cipher with increased resistance to both written and spoken memetic hazards. Individuals who did not speak SCP-050-INT would be incapable of hearing the language itself when it was spoken.
- Secrecy - Recent research carried out by the Tactical Theology department on the applications of specific elements of religious scripture suggested that many classes of Akivan entities were not capable of comprehending specific Aramaic languages. This would allow Foundation personnel to operate without interference or fear of repercussions from said entities. Due to the relatively small speaking population, the Western Neo-Aramaic variant was chosen to serve as the framework for SCP-050-INT, and proposals were drawn up for the relocation and amnestization of said population.
- Stability - Project Polyglot would see the development of a conceptual engineering device capable of manipulating and splicing concepts into SCP-050-INT. By grounding it in collective conceptualization, the language will be more resistant to linguistic parasites, be more hostile to pataphysical entities, and be more difficult to host new linguistic memetic hazards on. This will ensure the longevity of SCP-050-INT as a tool for the Foundation's use.
Addendum INT-050.1: Project Launch
Following the O5 Council's approval on 24/01/20, Project Polyglot was set to begin. The Provisional Site-11 was constructed with the purpose of facilitating the project. Due to the nature of the anomaly, the project requires staff to be members from different international branches. As a result, Provisional Site-11 was constructed in Singapore to act as a neutral country between the different branches. The following Department Heads were assembled for the project:
- Project Lead: Damien Lim Jun Jie
- Head of Engineering: Sebastían Joaquín Leopoldo
- Head of Logistics: Marcel Vivier
- Head of Memetics: Yekaterina Popova
- Head of Linguistics: Chen Hao Xuan
- Tactical Theology Consultant: Cole Jackson
Alongside their respective departments. The following is a transcript of their first meeting together.
«BEGIN LOG»
Lim: (claps hands together) Welcome everyone. Happy to have you all working on this project. So far so good, and as far as I can see, things are gonna stay good. First order of business: how's progress coming along? Oh! And how's everyone doing today?
Leopoldo: We've begun running diagnostic tests on the Ontological Linkage System, before starting any actual conceptual manipulation. We're also waiting on a shipment of metallic hydrogen so we can continue to power the dumb thing.
Vivier: Your request has already been received and processed, expect an arrival in two days time.
Leopoldo: Can't get it any sooner?
Vivier: Logistics is a well-oiled machine, not some exclusive club. We're not Amazon.
Leopoldo: I guess..
Lim: Well that's good to hear. Mr. Chen, how's your department fairing?
Chen: Ah! Well, we've been settling in alright, accommodations have been satisfactory— my accommodations have been satisfactory. We've already started our analysis of Western Neo-Aramaic, and are planning to cross reference with what we know about SCP-INT-0264 in order to start making changes. With assistance from Memetics, of course.
Popova: Of course. My team and I are also looking over what we know about SCP-1098 and SCP-947, making sure whatever we create doesn't get out of hand. Oh, and I like the break room tv.
Lim: Right, off to a great start I see. Let's get down to business. Is there a status update on the situation earlier?2
Vivier: I recognize that a member of my department was the cause of this recent blackout, and as department head I take full responsibility for this setback.
Leopoldo: A setback that could've been doubly avoided if we were given the full set of resources we requested.
Vivier: Well, that's on you.
Leopoldo: …Excuse me?
Vivier: If you did not receive all the materials you required, then that is because you filed an incomplete request.
Leopoldo: We… I— (exhales) I sent you, the request, and—
Vivier: And I delivered the requested materials, just as I promised.
Leopoldo: You explicitly denied the full request.
Vivier: No. What happened was that you sent an email, which was processed, and then hours later sent a second email asking for surplus, which was denied.
Leopoldo: It wasn't goddamn surplus, that was the full order!
Vivier: Then you should have included them in the first email.
Leopoldo: We would have, if we knew a pipe was gonna burst thirty minutes later and start spraying everyone with phonetic refuse. Do you know how hard is to organize an emergency clean-up when everyone keeps pronouncing their words with too many vowels?
Vivier: That… does sound inconvenient. I am sorry that happened, but there is nothing I could have done.
Leopoldo: …No, no you could have done something! You could've given my department the goddamn things we needed!
Vivier: As I said before, Dr. Leopoldo, Logistics is a well-oiled machine. You can't just… break the machine when it isn't doing what you want!
Lim: Alright this is going in circles. Now, Mr. Vivier, if you were informed that the requested shipment was for an emergency situation, surely you would be a bit more lenient, yes?
Vivier: I…… well, hm. Yes… there are procedures for that. But- but only if those situations are, in truth, emergencies. I have had more than one— I have had… occurrences, wherein people would lie in order to abuse the system.
Lim: Dr. Leopoldo, I trust you would not do the same?
Leopoldo: Yeah, yeah. I cut down a cherry tree and never told a lie again, and all that.
Vivier: I don't watch movies, I don't get that reference.
Lim: Mr. Chen, Dr. Popova, how're things running on your end?
Chen: Slow-going, as Dr. Popova and I have run into… creative differences.
Lim: How so?
Popova: Chen's too much of a perfectionist to get anything done.
Chen: I'm not being a perfectionist, I'm trying to modify a mundane language into an anomalous one.
Popova: Heheh, and I'm trying to make a memetic antimeme, but you don't see me sitting around with my thumbs in my ass.
Chen: No, but I do see you and your team shotgun blasting half-baked memes and then calling it a day.
(Popova leans forward.)
Chen: "I don't take kindly to having my work insulted."
Popova: I don't take kindly to having my work insul— fuck.
Lim: From what I was told beforehand, you're trying to develop small prototype words to test out. Let Chen work on the language until it has an internal logic, then let Popova graft some memes onto a few words and phrases.
Popova: Sure.
Chen: Alright.
Popova: That reminds me. Uh, uh, Leopoldo. (snaps fingers) There's something you learned that you said would be a problem for the project.
Leopoldo: That's right. While mapping out the local noosphere, we discovered conceptual barriers that seem to be blocking any attempt to construct a universal language. They also show Akiva radiation signatures.
Lim: Okay. No worries, I'll request for some experts in this subject matter to come down and give us a hand.
«END LOG»
Addendum INT-050.2: Experimentation Logs
AUDIO LOG
«BEGIN LOG»
Chen: Linguistics Head Chen speaking. I thought it would be wise to record some… musings, on the work we are carrying out here. This project is a important step forward, and for reasons of posterity I think that future generations should know our thought processes. Previously, we had operated on the unspoken assumption that English would be the official language of the Foundation. This idea is a relic of our past and our founding. As the world we protect moves into the future, so shall we.
Chen pauses. A page can be heard turning.
SCP-050-INT is our opportunity to create a rigorous framework for that future, resistant to info-hazards and outside interference. It is our opportunity to bring a greater unity to our scattered branches, and foster a new age of cooperation. Our first trials will focus on this aspect. I have-
A loud cough is heard in the background.
Right, sorry, Researcher Popova and I have created a crude prototype, consisting only of a limited vocabulary. So far. We plan to introduce it to personnel, who will be attempting to communicate. If all goes well, they will be able to completely understand each other. End of dictation.
«END LOG»
| TEST | TEST SUMMARY | NOTES |
|---|---|---|
| SCP-050-INT was shown to Senior Researchers Kitsui Akira3 and Nicholas Jonas4 before the start of the experiment. They were then tasked to converse for around ten minutes on any topic. | The two researchers conversed without issue for the first five minutes before Dr. Akira asked about Dr. Jonas’ day. He responded by talking about what he had for breakfast, mentioning that he had a cup of coffee and a mango. Upon mentioning that he ate a mango, Dr. Akira asked him to repeat himself and when he did so, she began yelling at him. The two then began arguing for the next three minutes before Dr. Akira stormed out of the interview room. | Further research found that “mango” sounded very similar to a Japanese slang, which may have caused the prototype memetic to mistranslate the word into something offensive and cause Dr. Akira to mishear what Dr. Jonas was trying to say. |
| An updated prototype of SCP-050-INT was shown to Senior Researchers Leon Choo Boon Kwee5 and Alexandre Lavigne6. They were then tasked to converse for around ten minutes on any topic. | During the conversation, Dr. Choo mentioned that during his return to Singapore, he ate Swedish meatballs at an IKEA. Dr. Lavigne began laughing uncontrollably for a minute before quickly clarifying what Dr. Choo said. The two seemingly laughed it off before continuing with their conversation. | Further research found that the French term for “Swedish meatballs” sounded similar to “Swedish balls”, which caused Dr. Lavigne to misinterpret what Dr. Choo was trying to say. |
| An updated prototype of SCP-050-INT was shown to Senior Researcher Rokugo Nakano7 and Junior Researcher Wang Yu Rui8 before the start of the experiment. They were then tasked to converse for around ten minutes. | During their conversation, Dr. Wang asked Dr. Nakano about her prosthetic arm9. As they continued conversing about it, Dr. Nakano visibly became more and more uncomfortable until she excused herself from the testing room. She was later found crying at the Site’s reception area. | A later interview with her found that the memetic affected Dr. Wang’s tone when they conversed, causing him to sound like he was making fun of her. |
| An updated prototype of SCP-050-INT was shown to Junior Researchers Hyun-Ji10 and Marcin Nowak11. They were then tasked to converse for around ten minutes. | Around three minutes into the test, the two researchers began arguing with each other. They continued yelling at each other for another minute before a short scuffle ensued, causing security personnel to enter to separate them. | Further investigation revealed that the memetic malfunctioned roughly three minutes into the test and began mistranslating their words into insults. |
| An updated prototype of SCP-050-INT was shown to Junior Researcher Camille Gustave12 and Assistant Engineer Moreno Averielle13. They were tasked to converse for around ten minutes on any topic. | The memetic malfunctioned roughly five minutes into the conversation. Both researchers were re-administered the memetic, but it once again stopped working around three minutes into the conversation. The memetic was re-administered to them two more times, with it working for a shorter period each time before the test was called off. | Further investigation found that due to the constant modifications to the prototype memetic, the core foundations of it, which include how long it will last after administration, have been altered fundamentally. This drastically decreased how long the memetic’s effective duration was. |
With the completion of the Ontological Linkage System, a battery of tests were carried out by the Engineering department. These tests were carried out with the intention of determining the limits of the O.L.S, the efficacy of a successful conceptual splice, and the ease of manipulating a dense concept such as Western Neo-Aramaic.
| TEST | TEST SUMMARY | NOTES |
|---|---|---|
| The first test of the Ontological Linkage System consisted of combining the concept of "Umami" with the concept of "Junior Researcher Muñoz" for five minutes before reverting the change. | Those who thought of Muñoz during the test experienced a savoury flavour, which also extended to saying her name or conversing with her. | "My nametag still tastes like soy sauce." - Jr Researcher Muñoz. |
| Researchers created a fake language consisting of a few simple words and named it "Testese". This language was then spliced with "Imperceptible" and "Secret" | Reseachers involved immediately forgot how to speak "Testese" and could not perceive the vocabulary they had noted down prior to the test. | "Whoever came up with that name should be very grateful that I literally can't remember who it was" - Dr Popova. |
| First test in splicing concepts into the Western Neo-Aramaic language. The O.L.S was utilised in an attempt to combine the language with "Easy" and "Understandable". Development of the Leopoldo Conceptual Splicer had been completed, allowing for more complex concepts to be manipulated. | During the test, the LCS struggled to approach the Aramaic concept cluster, experiencing several distinct yet severe technical difficulties during repeat tests. | Upon examination, several internal components of the LCS had been transmuted into a solid mass of salt, preventing it from functioning correctly. |
| The LCS MK2 has finished development. It has been constructed out of little known materials, reducing the conceptual associations and granting increased resistance to conceptual transfiguration. The previous test is then repeated. | The LCS MK2 is initially able to approach the Aramaic conceptual cluster without resistance. However, as splicing is about to begin, a massive technical malfunction causes the O.L.S to critically fail. | See Incident Report #83 |
INCIDENT REPORT #83
During testing of the Ontological Linkage System, a then-unknown source caused several of the Scranton Reality Anchors used in the operation of the O.L.S to malfunction and shut down. As such, the gateway to conceptual reality, no longer held in place by the SRA array, began to spread throughout the Engineering department.
This caused vast amounts of damage to the facility, as much of the matter contained within was transmuted into neighbouring concepts. For example, the standard epoxy resin coating on walls, floors and ceilings was converted into a mixture of honey, pine sap and an unknown crystalline substance which bore a strong electrical charge. Due to its conceptually dense shielding, the O.L.S itself was largely unaffected, but much of the site had to be replaced and repaired, setting research back considerably. In addition, Engineering Technician Edilio Gil disappeared during the incident, and was presumed dead. It was later determined that the malfunction in the SRA array was caused by a sudden and unexplained spike in background Akiva radiation, which overloaded the array as it attempted to return the levels to baseline.
VIDEO LOG
«BEGIN LOG»
Leopoldo: Is this thing on? Oh, good, okay. Hello. This is Engineering Head Leopoldo. Chen said that they were recording some of their in progress work “for future generations”. Whatever that means. Kept bugging me to do it so here we are. Guess I’ll show you what we have been working on.
Leopoldo picks up the camera, turning it to face a colossal structure. A metal circle is filled with a sharp white energy. The circle is entangled with pipes and wires, through which various fluids can be seen moving.
Leopoldo: That is the Ontological Linkage System. This is the main tool we are using to carry out the development of SCP-050-INT. Now, if I were to go through there, I would dissolve into a semi-fluid non-mass of ideas and concepts. Very painful, I’ve heard. However, I’m not going through. For that job, we have created this, the Leopoldo Conceptual Splicer, Mark 2.
The camera turns to show a boxy drone with six short legs, encased in a reflective chrome shell.
Leopoldo: We’ve designed the LCS MK2 to be quite conceptually dense. If most people can’t understand the terms we use to describe it, we find that helps prevent semiotic diffusion. On top of that, whilst in operation, we have a helpful volunteer.
The camera pans to Junior Researcher Muñoz, seated in a chair with various electrodes attached to her head. Her face is strained in concentration.
Leopoldo: Muñoz here is keeping the LCS MK2 firmly pictured in her mind’s eye, which should help keep it conceptually stable. You ready?
Muñoz: Yes sir, ready when you are.
Sitting at a computer, Leopoldo begins to manoeuvre the LCS MK2 into the O.L.S.
Leopoldo: Now, there isn't really any physical reality to the other side, so actually knowing where you are is difficult. Progress has been…. slow. But, what we are doing, bit by bit, is pruning concepts from the Western Neo-Aramaic language, and attaching concepts we want. I have spent the last month creating conceptual links between it and ‘secret’, as part of our anti-memetic efforts. What you are seeing now is the last touches before we can hand over to Popova for counter-meme synthesizing.
30 minutes pass as Leopoldo concentrates on operating the LCS MK2 and guides it back through the O.L.S. to physical reality. As it emerges, the outer layer of the LCS MK2 appears to have been transmuted into a viscous black fluid. Leopoldo approaches the LCS and dips his finger into the fluid before tasting it.
Leopoldo: Forgot to go the long way around ‘Treacle’ on my trip back. Again.
Muñoz: Whoops.
«END LOG»
INCIDENT REPORT #97
Whilst repairs of the Engineering department were ongoing, several members of staff reported sounds of banging and high-pitched crying coming from the mostly undamaged ventilation shafts. Monitoring equipment installed within the Site picked up heat signatures from a Macaca fascicularis14 which had somehow infiltrated the Site’s ventilation system.
Dr Popova and members of site security attempted to capture the macaque non-lethally, but it managed to evade them and escaped into the Memetics laboratory via the shafts. It proceeded to break into secure storage15 where it drank several bottles of linguistic refuse.
When approached by Dr Popova, it began speaking a mix of languages fluently16. In this state, it explained that it was actually Edilio Gil, and that he had been transfigured into a macaque during the O.L.S malfunction incident. Gil then collapsed to the floor and fell unconscious due to a severe chemical overdose. Following an extensive medical check-up and brief education in ASL, he was transferred to a specialist veterinary site for treatment and research. It is believed that Gil's transformation was caused by the relative conceptual adjacency of humans and monkeys.
Addendum INT-050.3: Countermeasures to Divine Elements
«BEGIN LOG»
Lim: Alright team, before we get into the progress updates, I would like to give a warm welcome to Mr. Cole Jackson.
(Short round of applause and greetings.)
Lim: Mr. Jackson will be our Tactical Theology consultant and liaison. He's gonna be assisting our Memetics and Linguistics teams in solving the current roadblock they're facing. Now, Mr. Jackson, if you would.
Jackson: Thank you, Dr. Lim. I'm sure Dr. Chen and Popova are already familiar with my team and I, but I appreciate the warm welcome from the rest of you. To get to business, the 'divine barriers' were a cause for concern at first, but we've made quick work of it, if I do say so myself. All that's left on the agenda for my team would be some quick diagnostics to check if the barrier will actually stay open.
Chen: Mr Jackson, whilst I really do appreciate your work here, I hope we can move past practical matters for a moment, because I would like to comment that your style of work is… intrusive, to say the least.
Jackson: Really? How so?
Chen: It-hmm. I don't mean any offense but it basically feels like you have taken over our part of the project, without any of our input. You may be overstepping a little bit.
Popova: It's been a while since we've been in agreement on anything, but Chen is right.
Jackson: Right… I apologise if that is how I've come across in here. Y'see, my team is in a bit of a rush. Command has given us marching orders, and our next project at Site-901 in the Philippines. I thought solving this problem ASAP would be beneficial for all of us, and I sincerely apologise if I gave y'all the wrong impression.
Chen: I see…
Jackson: If it makes you feel any better, we'll be out of your hair very soon. Once we figure everything out. At most, one or two members of my team will stay behind for upkeep and maintenance.
Lim: Okay! Looks like we have some good progress going on, so let's keep it up. Speaking of maintenance, I believe there was an incident earlier?
Popova: Блять, don't remind me.
Leopoldo: Well, luckily, the damages aren't as bad as you'd think and most of the equipment can be replaced relatively easily. Just so long as we get the parts sent to us quickly.
Vivier: The parts will be sent to you once the paperwork is done.
Leopoldo: Oh come on, we can't get it sooner? It's for for urgent repairs!
Vivier: I was delayed because I had to arrange transit for one of your staff who was turned into a monkey. So please, have a little patience.
Leopoldo: …Fair enough.
Lim: Alright, let's try and put this monkey incident behind us. I've put security onto determining the source of that Akiva spike. Hopefully we can find the source before it causes any further incidents.
Jackson: Oh, speaking of security, when I was driving in this morning, I couldn't help but notice there was some guy standing at the site entrance staring in. Should we be concerned?
Lim: Don't worry, I've spoken to security and they say it's pretty normal when a new army camp springs up.17 Can't blame the public for being curious. Security can handle one suspicious person.
Jackson: Right, good to know.
Lim: Okay then, if there are no further queries, we have a clear checklist for the next part of the project so I hope you all can press on. If you excuse me, I have to send an email to the overseers.
«END LOG»
Addendum INT-050.4: Extended Incident Report Log
INCIDENT REPORT #105
A pipe located inside the Memetics laboratory burst, immediately causing both the Memetics and Linguistics laboratory to flood. Emergency hatches were immediately activated, resulting in the Memetics and Linguistics’ side of Provisional Site-11 being shut off from the rest of the Site.
The pipe continued to stay broken for nearly an hour before security personnel managed to enter the water supply room and turn the machine off. This resulted in both Departments’ laboratories, cafeterias, dormitories and offices to be completely flooded, which also resulted in nearly $50,000 of damages to equipment, resources and personal belongings.
During a later inspection, surveillance footage of the Memetics laboratory revealed that the Technician Gil, whilst in a panicked state due to being transformed into a Crab-eating Macaque, had loosened a pipe fitting when he broke into the lab. This went unnoticed as the Site had been preoccupied replacing the other damaged equipment. It was presumed that over the course of the next few days, the high volumes of water being used put additional stress on the damaged pipe, loosening several more fittings before it finally burst.
INCIDENT REPORT #166
During a test activation of the O.L.S, a valve connected to a vat of metallic hydrogen malfunctioned. This resulted in an excessive amount of metallic hydrogen being pumped into the O.L.S, which caused it to begin overloading. Whilst several engineers attempted to turn the O.L.S off, Junior Researcher Lee Jing En looked out a nearby window before quickly exiting the Site. Several personnel within the room quickly took notice and followed Dr. Lee outside as well. As the other personnel within the room were busy attempting to fix the valve, nobody noticed the other researchers were gone until the following picture was posted onto Dr. Lee’s social media.
LeeJE
⁂leeje
holy fuck
- COMMENTS 2
- RETWEETS 4
- LIKES 20
08:42 PM - 3 August 2021
A later investigation into the incident and follow-up interview with the affected personnel found that when the O.L.S overloaded, it had caused conceptual changes to several personnel in the room, causing them to hallucinate a large figure hanging in the skies above the site. Descriptions varied between a ball of softly glowing light, a city constructed entirely out of paper and "my dad's face, with a scornful expression."
Addendum INT-050.5: Experimentation Logs (cont.)
The following is a log of several experiments carried out by the Department of Tactical Theology. It is to be noted that the following experiments were carried out without permission from Project Lead Damien Lim Jun Jie.
VIDEO LOG
«BEGIN LOG»
Jackson: Heard that we wanted people to do some notes for when we distribute the project world wide, so, to explain what we at T’n’T are contributing to the project, I thought I’d have Agent Wisteria follow me around so we can show you all the fun stuff we’re messing around with. First up on the schedule, we’re meeting with Popova to work out some snags with the security side of Foundationese.
[20 minutes of extraneous footage removed]
Jackson: So essentially, the initial idea is that Akivan entities, usually immune to anti-memetic effects, won't be able to even comprehend it. My colleague, Dr Adhara, wrote this fascinating paper, ah, what was it called?
Wisteria: It was Hear no Evil: Practical Applications of Kabbalah in Akivan Diplomacy, sir.
Jackson snaps his fingers at the camera.
Jackson: That’s the one! Really interesting stuff. Basically, the Talmudic interpretation is that these entities are literally incapable of understanding Aramaic, and since we used that as the base, we should be in the clear. As all you folks at home know, we have to do some difficult things for our work, with the best interests of others at heart. What reason do we have to face the consequences of these actions?
Jackson places the copy of the King James Bible into the blender and turns it on.
[15 minutes of extraneous footage removed]
Jackson: Now, when I first heard about this project, I thought it would have no real field applications. After all, most Foundation members just decide to pick up another language at some point, especially if they work with other branch staff on a regular basis. However, a nice little bonus of this language is how, thanks to its anti-memetic effects, most people can’t even comprehend what you’re saying. This can be especially handy with any entities that like to mess around with geases, contracts or other sorts of binding agreements. But now that we know that, how can we put it into action?
Jackson approaches the Djinn, unnoticed from behind.
[2 hours of extraneous footage removed]
Jackson: By infecting entities with Foundationese, we can communicate with those who we could not before. A different variant of the vector meme will ensure the language is gone within 24 hours, negating any security risks. This will allow us to reach new heights of relations with many theological phenomena, and break new ground in both diplomacy and interrogation techniques.
Jackson tosses the pig’s entrails into the brazier.
«END LOG»
| TEST | TEST SUMMARY | NOTES |
|---|---|---|
| D-2945 was exposed to SCP-050-INT, and was then also exposed to a variety of language based memetic hazards.18 | D-2945, when communicating normally, began to show signs of several late stage memetic infections. However, when communicating in SCP-050-INT, D-2945 was able to speak normally, and was unaffected by the variety of memetic anomalies she was infected with. | “According to the Ramesh Principle, most memes with such potency and virulence ignore language barriers. SCP-050-INT was able to completely bypass these issues. This is an incredible breakthrough in memetic security.” - Dr Popova. |
| D-2946 was exposed to SCP-050-INT, and was instructed to converse with D-2947, who did not possess the capability to speak in SCP-050-INT. | D-2947 was able to determine that D-2946 was speaking, but could not determine what they were saying. D-2947 described hearing SCP-050-INT as “the audio equivalent of trying to read something using only the punctuation.” | “In our development, we took the Saussurean concepts of Signifier and Signified19, and used anti-memetic conceptual engineering to sever the connection between the two. In a normal language, you hear ‘pig’, and you think of a pig. If I speak in SCP-050-INT, you hear ‘pig’, but you think of nothing at all. How can you crack a cipher that you don’t know exists?” - Dr Chen |
| D-2946 was given an amnestic, designed to erase the memory of the initial SCP-050-INT vector meme. This test was to determine whether SCP-050-INT would be able to be removed from retired staff. | D-2946 lost all capability of speech in both SCP-050-INT and his native language of Mandarin. D-2946 was only able to communicate using a rudimentary understanding of Japanese gained from his early education. | It was determined that the memetic vector was reliant on a connection between the subject's first language, and resulted in a mesh of the two. Further testing is required to separate this connection. |
| D-2947 was exposed to SCP-050-INT and then instructed to have a short conversation with a ‘Gallûs’, a Mesopotamian Tartarean class entity fluent in several Aramaic language variants, that was summoned by the Tactical Theology task force. | The entity became startled and erratic upon hearing D-2947 communicate using SCP-050-INT, and attempted to escape from its bindings. The test was aborted, and the entity calmed when D-2947 left the room. | The entity refused to elaborate on its reaction to SCP-050-INT, resisting all interrogation attempts until the duration of its summoning expired. Just before dematerializing, the entity commented that it was “not interested in getting involved with one of their wrathful moods.” |
INCIDENT REPORT #253
Foreword: The following incident report is a collation of multiple complaints filed by several members from the Departments of Memetics, Logistics, Engineering and Linguistics against the Department of Tactical Theology. As these reports are similar in nature, they have been summarised and collated into the following incident report.
Over the course of the past two weeks, multiple researchers from the aforementioned departments have filed several reports following several incidents with members from the Department of Tactical Theology.
These include:
- Ordering several pieces of equipment without following the Department of Logistics’ standard request procedure.
- Taking several language books from the Department of Linguistics without their permission.
- Borrowing an unfinished prototype from the Department of Memetics without their permission.
- Bringing several religious creatures from containment for testing without consulting the Department of Logistics.
- Taking several tools, equipment and materials from members of the Department of Engineering and Memetics without asking.
A full list of such incidents, which can be found here, has been sent to Project Lead Damien Lim Jun Jie for further review.
«BEGIN LOG»
Lim: Welcome everyone. We've had… our fair share of bumps along this project— …Vivier, is there something troubling you?
Vivier: Yes! Yes, what is troubling me is Tactical Theology's complete sidestepping of standard procedures! T-t-this loose cannon behavior!
Jackson: I- uh- huh?
Vivier: You brought in a kinnara20 for testing, but did not file a proper request to our department.
Jackson: Well, one of the other departments said they needed something to test the meme on, so me and my boys brought her in to speed things up.
Popova: Yeah, speaking of, I'm not a fan of "you and your boys" stealing our prototype meme to perform your own tests.
Jackson: What? We didn't steal the meme, we were doing our jobs: analysing the prototype for signs of divine interference. Your experiments kept failing, and while I can't say I know much about the process of making an anomalous meme, from the outside it looked like you and your team were doing everything right. So, we looked for any evidence of outside influence.
Popova: Well I appreciate the concern, but I would've appreciated it more if you actually asked us first.
Jackson: But… we did. My guys went to the lab and you let them borrow the prototype.
Popova: Wha— No! Your people just waltzed right in while we were working, ignored our questions, and stole it!
Vivier: How do you even have a kinnara?
Jackson: I— Well, the Foundation gives us access to holy and sacred creatures in containment, cause when your department's whole deal is combating divine entities, you wanna make sure what you're doing is actually combating them.
Vivier: And what made you think this was a good idea?
Jackson: …Because I didn't think it'd be a bad idea?
Popova: We couldn't finish the counter-meme synthesizing due to you, cause when you graciously decided to return the meme to us, the room was already flooded and all our tools wrecked. We had to wait another fucking week for replacements!
Lim: Okay, I think—
Chen: Yes! Yes that's another thing, Mr. Jackson. My department and I thought we had lost the majority our documents in the flood, so we had to restart our work from what we could remember ourselves and some of the slightly less damp documentation. And right when we'd almost gotten back to where we had been pre-flood you just, hopped over, said "here you go," and gave us our documents like you were delivering mail.
Jackson: Isn't—
Chen: For what reason would you need dictionaries and reference grammars to… to fight demons or— or whatever you do?
Jackson: Gaelic speaking anomalies tend to react inconsistently to anomalous languages. So we talked to a cat-sìth21 in Foundationese to see if anything bad would happen.
Chen: It's not called Foundationese, it's called SCP-050-INT.
Vivier: Just how many anomalies have you smuggled into the site?
Jackson: Hey, buddy, I'm just doing my job. Any of you could've just told us to stop.
Chen, Popova, & Leopoldo: We did!
Lim: Could everyone please—
Leopoldo: You've been using the O.L.S. like it's some dollar store arcade cabinet!
Chen: We did all that extra work for nothing!
Popova: My department couldn't do anything besides twiddle our thumbs and nod our heads to memetic theorems we've gone over a billion times.
Vivier: I HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE!
(A man spontaneously manifests in the meeting room)
Unknown: Hello!
(Indistinguishable shouts and remarks of surprise)
(Pause)
Leopoldo: …What?
Unknown: Today is a good Wednesday.
«END LOG»
Addendum INT-050.6: Unknown entity enters the Site.
INCIDENT REPORT #304
During a meeting between the department heads, a robed humanoid figure phased into the meeting room, stopping in front of Project Lead Damien Lim Jun Jie. It then asked to speak with them.
Project Lead Lim then requested for the group to be excused to conduct a quick discussion. The following is a transcript of the aforementioned meeting.
«BEGIN LOG»
(The department heads have opted to hold the meeting in the absence of the divine entity. As such, the meeting is held in a small storage closet and recorded the meeting using Lim's smartphone. The audio is of poor quality as a result.)
Lim: Okay. Let's think about this rationally. Everyone let's take a deep breath-
Leopoldo: Was that an angel? Like from God?
Jackson: Specifically the Angel subclass of the same name. A basic messenger for heaven or a messenger to warn humans which I'm guessing that it's here for the latter.
Popova: Excellent observation choirboy. Any more information we already know?
Jackson: (sigh) At the very least it's not one of the Principalities. It would be hard to cover up the appearance of a giant ray of light appearing out of nowhere and I don't want to argue with Information control and a deity at the same time.
Leopoldo: Jesus Christ forget getting the project complete, are we risking eternal damnation?
Jackson: Well he's unlikely to show up at least.
Chen: Oh my God shut up.
Lim: Alright… Deep breaths now…
Leopoldo: Am I the only one who is still wrapping my head around the fact that there's an angel in the building? D-does this prove that heaven is real? A-are all the other religions not real? Like-
Vivier: As a matter of fact, you are the only one still on that step. Fucking hell, we've already moved on and trying to find an actually practical way around the situation. Try and fucking keep up for once yeah?
Lim: Deep breaths…
Leopoldo: Excuse me?
Vivier: Yes you are excu-
Lim: ALL OF YOU STOP TALKING RIGHT N-
(Indistinguishable hushing is heard from the department heads.)
Lim: Okay, deep breaths…
Vivier: You've been telling us that a lot.
Lim: It's for me, not you.
Vivier: Right…
Lim: Okay. Okay. Jackson is this Angel omnipotent?
Jackson: Not exactly, why?
Lim: This project needs to go through. I need you all to act inconspicuous.
(Indistinguishable hushed protests can be heard.)
Lim: Jackson, can we hide the project from it?
Jackson: I-I guess? Fuck, we were scheduled to leave tomorrow. Uhh, it's possible, but do you really want to lie to God?
Lim: Listen all of you. Do you fear the council, or do you fear God more?
(Pause.)
Vivier: Fuck, this question is harder to answer than I thought.
Lim: I know my answer especially after having to liaison with them every week because of you idiots. I'll assume we're all in agreement. Whatever, best case scenario, it just leaves and the project will be on its merry way and some of us can leave to go to the Philippines for "important matters". Best of all, as far as the O5s know, the project is squeaky clean too.
Chen: Wah臭, what are we gonna tell the O5s?
Lim: I'll do my job and you'll do yours. I-(sigh) I'm sorry I called you all idiots. Just do what you need to do and I'll do whatever. Any questions?
(Resounding mummuring in agreement.)
Lim: Good. Dismissed.
«END LOG»
«BEGIN LOG»
(As the meeting room had been destroyed, the current department head meeting is taking place in the site break room.)
Lim: Umm, g-good afternoon team, here to join the department meeting is our unexpected visitor, Ramiel.
(The department heads glance at the entity and then at each other. Everyone hesitates and does not say anything.)
(Leopoldo begins to clap supposedly as a greeting for Ramiel.)
(Lim and Vivier both glare at him but they both contribute to the applause as the rest of the department heads do the same.)
Lim: Well, uh… Thanks for the warm welcome all. Ramiel is just here to observe and nothing more. Let's just proceed with the future of our memeti— our project!
Ramiel: Quite right, I do love seeing man work together in harmony. Oh, that reminds me, you never explained to me what your project is about.
Lim: I-It's uhhh… About the… environment.
Ramiel: Oh, fantastic! It's always nice to see people making the world a better place.
Chen: T-that's what we do here haha!
(Chen begins to breathe heavily. The angel does not seem to acknowledge this.)
Ramiel: Now that's all well and good, but I recently found out that some ancient things might have been broken here. I was hoping that you could give some hints.
Lim: How so?
Ramiel: I'm looking for people who have broken some divine laws around here. It is quite a serious matter. The last time we had to resolve such a case was, gosh, thousands of years ago? I believe it had something to do with a big tower. Truly quite dreadful.
Jackson: Perhaps we could help direct you to those people? I'm sure they're pretty far away from us at this point and they might be getting further.
Ramiel: Hmmm… That does seem likely, but I shall remain here for the time being until I have a proper look. Besides, I've become incredibly invested in what activities you are performing here. Do tell more about your project.
(All turn to face Lim.)
Lim: T-the environment… around this… country… and the… f-fish! Yes we're researching the fish and how some anomalous refuse has seeped into the water and might have some disastrous impacts on the local ecosystem. Something about the fact that we are in uhh… in the equator! Yes.
Ramiel: Oooh very facinating! Is the big machine also for fish?
Leopoldo: It's an advanced scanner for the impurities in the water.
Ramiel: Right, I was wondering about it ever since I arrived.
Lim: Okay! Now that it's all cleared up, I feel like we could get back to work and we can go our separate ways?
Ramiel: Oh yes, I shouldn't intrude too much.
Lim: (sigh) Thank you so much I—
Ramiel: Let me confirm this with my superiors first before I depart.
Lim: Excuse me what?
(A massive beam of light manifests next to Ramiel. The light clears to reveal a Throne class angelic entity. It consists of a wheel within a wheel with eyes along the length of each of the wheels. It has eight feathered wings and flames radiate from the entity. The flames do not seem to burn or damage the surroundings. Ramiel bows.)
Ramiel: Greetings █████████.
█████████: █████ █████ ██ ████ ███████████████████.
Ramiel: Very true! We shall have another look around. Now sir, could you explain to my colleague what you have explained to me earlier? He may ask for more details but I'm sure there's no problem.
(Lim stares at the entities for several seconds with no response.)
Lim: I…um—sure thing haha…
[EXTRENUOUS DIALOGUE REDACTED]
«END LOG»
Addendum INT-050.7: Project-wide Audit
Following suspicious communications from provisional Site-11, an unscheduled audit was requested. Correspondents to the O5 council had speculated with reasonable certainty that the project heads of Project Polyglot were involved in activities without the Foundation's best interest in mind. RAISA Compliance officer Adam Perez was tasked to investigate suspected claims of financial malpractice within Project Polyglot. The following is an incident log detailing the audit process and the project staff's actions.
«BEGIN LOG»
(Perez walks down the hallway at a measured pace. Walking in the opposite direction is Lim, who is talking to another member of staff.)
Lim: Keep them from meeting like they're the goddamn beryllium hemispheres of the demon core. The auditor's going to be in less than an hour— ah mi- mi- mis- mister- mister Perez! Hello. Welcome!
(Perez sniffs.)
Perez: Doctor Lim, I presume.
Lim: Yes, that would be me.
(The other staff member leaves.)
Lim: …Would you like me to show you around?
Perez: It's what I'm here for.
(Perez follows Lim down the hallway.)
(The two enter the workroom of the Engineering Department: messy workbenches dot the space, with splotches of syrup stains visible on the floor. The O.L.S. rests in a powered-off state, with structural damage visible.)
Perez: I, uh, see your machine here seems in need of repairs.
Lim: Ah, yes. Dr. Leopoldo informed me…
(Behind Perez, Ramiel can be seen approaching the two, smiling and waving. Leopoldo and Muñoz rush to the entity's sides, attempting to direct it away by convincing it of a fish rehabilitation aquarium in another room.)
Lim: …eeeeeeeee…
(Perez begins to turn around.)
Lim: THE!
(Perez's gaze snaps back.)
Lim: The, the, yes. The… water filtration system broke, and so this part of the project has been paused, wh-while we wait for repairs.
(Perez writes down on his clipboard.)
(Leopoldo gives Lim an "all clear" gesture as he and Muñoz shove Ramiel out of the room. Lim directs Perez further into the site.)
Lim: The project has had more than a few hiccups recently, so I apologize for the harried state we must look like.
Perez: I am well aware of the… incidents that have been occurring here.
(As Perez looks down to take notes, █████████ exits from a doorway down the hall.)
Lim: Ah, here we are!
(Lim quickly pushes Perez into the nearby Memetics Department laboratory: broken glass is collected atop the tables. The door to the testing chamber is ajar, with visible damages in the chamber itself.)
Lim: Uh, Memetics is a very hands-on profession. Can't expect to get a contagious idea out the door without getting your hands a little dirty, haha.
(Perez writes down on his clipboard. Bright light can be seen emanating from under the door behind him.)
Lim: I believe you might find the test chamber to be of interest.
(Perez enters the chamber with Lim. █████████ phases through the wall into the laboratory, with Popova and Jackson rushing in after it. Lim observes this through the glass divider.)
Perez: Hm. (Looks at the ceiling then back to Lim.) You're sweating quite a bit.
Lim: Ah, yeah. The AC broke. Like I said before, the water filtration for the site is in need of repairs.
Perez: I didn't think air conditioners needed water to work.
Lim: Oh these are a different kind. From Sweden. They're built different.
(Perez writes down on his clipboard. Popova requests the entity to leave, citing fragile equipment. █████████ responds. Popova wipes the blood from her nose.)
(Light from the entity reflects off the clipboard and into Perez's eye. As he begins to turn around, Popova switches on the shutters, obscuring the glass divider.)
Perez: (Points.) Why is that window black all of a sudden?
Lim: One way glass. Helps with testing.
(Perez writes down on his clipboard. Jackson repeats Popova's request in Enochian. The entity complies, opening the door and leaving. The two department heads turn off the shutters before following suit. Perez looks back up.)
Perez: I thought you said this was one way glass?
Lim: Oh, it is! Situational one way glass; the see-through side switches every hour. Uh… anomalous manufacture, Foundation made.
Perez: I fail to see how something like this would be practical.
Lim: Hey, can't argue with results.
(Perez writes down on his clipboard.)
(The two walk to the site's garage, which is under the purview of the Logistics Department: the space is in relative order, save for a couple small upturned crates and a supply truck with its trunk door broken open.)
(Perez walks over to inspect the truck. A staff member approaches Lim and informs him that █████████ recently summoned its "superior", John, to the site as well.)
(Perez stands at the rear of the truck; a humanoid entity with four wings, arms, and heads22 walks out from behind the front of the truck.)
(The staff member rushes towards John and directs it back behind the truck. Perez notices the commotion starts walking to the front; the staff member pushes John to the rear.)
Perez: Who was that?
Lim: Oh, they were just informing me that a printer malfunction has been fixed.
Perez: Doesn't seem like a very pertinent thing to be updated on.
Lim: Well, each wing of the site is only allowed one printer.
(Perez writes down on his clipboard and walks to the other side of the truck; John is moved to the opposite side.)
(Vivier enters the garage and approaches the entity. He informs it that any divine emissaries that wish to enter the garage must fill out the proper paperwork, as the materials housed within could potentially harm them or vise versa. John eagerly accepts and leaves the room with him.)
(Perez finishes writing and walks over to Lim.)
Perez: While messy, things seem to be in general order.
Lim: Wonderful! Now—
Perez: But before I leave, there's some things you can't hide very easily.
Lim: Uhh what?
Perez: Hand them over.
Lim: H-hand over what?
Perez: Your receipts. The numbers for your purchases don't lie.
Lim: (small sigh of relief) Of course, yes.
(Lim leads Perez to his office, where he shows him the site's financial records on his computer.)
Perez: I'm, uh, seeing lots of purchases for equipment replacements. Lot of them due to human conflict.
Lim: It's a bit ironic, that a project with the goal of creating unity would have so much discourse.
Perez: And… huh. I have to be honest, I was expecting the claims about the monkey to be a load of bullshit.
Lim: Oh, no. The monkey was painfully real.
(Perez finishes reviewing the records and stands up.)
Perez: Well, looks like you aren't performing money laundering after all.
(Perez opens the door and turns around.)
Perez: I suppose I have to respect someone who's running an O5's pet project, especially since it's going this badly.
Lim: Oh yeah, tell me about it. It's… (sighs). I… try to keep my head up most of the time. I'm a glass half full kinda guy. But… at times, it feels like the everything's conspiring against us. When the world is crumbling around you, and you feel useless in the face of it. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that… it all just seems pointless.
Perez: Listen, I know how it feels: to have everything riding on your shoulders, and try as you might, your best just isn't good enough. But you have to stick with it. The odds may seem overwhelming, but you gotta be stubborn in the face of it all. And hey, if you beat your head against the wall enough, maybe a crack will form, and sometimes that's all you really need to push through.
Lim: I… yeah. Thanks.
Perez: (Softly chuckles) Who knew creating a universal language was this hard?
Ramiel: What?
(Perez looks out the doorway: all three entities are present)
John: (In four voices) Did thy say… "universal language?"
(The site rumbles.)
EMERGENCY CAMERA FEED
A heavy storm is present outside the Site-11. The clouds part, and a large, indeterminate mass23 protrudes out and towards the site. A bright light flashes from the tip of the mass, and all personnel present at the facility report hearing the following phrase:
"STRIKE 2"
The mass vanishes.
«END LOG»
Warning! SCP-050-INT contamination detected!