Classification Committee Memo: Ticonderoga is defined as the classification of objects that cannot be contained and also do not need to be contained.
Totemized bunrei of SCP-2562-JP-A-1.
Special Containment Procedures: No active containment efforts are to be made, as the impact of SCP-2562-JP on the general public is negligible.
SCP-2562-JP-A instances are to be maintained in a self-contained state at their respective locations; the totemized bunrei1 of each SCP-2562-JP-A instance is to be stored at the nearest containment site, where periodic prayers are to be offered by the Department of Theology personnel.
Description: SCP-2562-JP is the collective designation for a series of e-mails with no identifiable originating IP address. SCP-2562-JP is invariably sent to human resources personnel in a private business, with a request for employment and a crude application form attached. Currently, SCP-2562-JP is known to be sent at irregular intervals by an unspecified number of pistiphage entities2 (designated as SCP-2562-JP-A). The purpose of SCP-2562-JP-A is to receive rejection notices3 from companies.
Addendum 2562-JP.1: Interview Log
Interview Log 2562-JP.1
Subject: SCP-2562-JP-A-1
Interviewer: Agent Toyosawa
Foreword: SCP-2562-JP-A-1 was brought to the Foundation's attention when it submitted a paper application form to a company instead of sending an e-mail, in which it claimed to be a "god". Upon dispatch to the sender's address, Agent Toyosawa discovered a debilitated pistiphage entity in a local shrine, and conducted a brief interview after offering an impromptu prayer.
Note: For the sake of readability, the speakers are abbreviated as "A-1" and "Toyosawa," respectively.
«BEGIN LOG»
Toyosawa: Are you sure you can talk to me?
A-1: Yeah, no problem. Thanks.
Toyosawa: Okay, let's start the interview. I would like to start by asking you about the resume you mailed to [REDACTED]. Why did you do that?
A-1: Well — long story short, I wanted a so-called oinori mēru.4
Toyosawa: A slang term for a rejection notice, huh? You mean, uh — you were trying to gain the benefit of faith through it?
A-1: Exactly. (Pause) Apparently, it had to be an e-mail. It was a waste of time.
Toyosawa: (Pause) That's — you know, does it actually work? I don't think anyone would put their sincere wishes or prayers into something like that.
A-1: I have no idea. In any case, I failed and that's why I'm in such a mess — I don't know what would have happened to me if you guys hadn't arrived. I've been having a hard time keeping myself fed since the residents around here have all died off over the past few years. I knew that I would be in trouble if I didn't do something about it, so I consulted with other folks on the Internet.
Toyosawa: On the Internet? You — are you saying that you didn't come up with the idea of gaining faith from rejection notices yourself?
A-1: That's what I mean.
Toyosawa: So there are other deities using the same means?
A-1: I suppose so. I heard that we don't have any academic background, so we would definitely be rejected if we filled out an application honestly. Thank goodness.
Toyosawa: I understand your situation. (Pause) My colleague will be here again shortly. The details will be explained then, but — for the time being, you will no longer need to receive oinori mēru, so please don't do this anymore.
A-1: Yeah, okay.
«END LOG»
Closing Statement: This interview uncovered the existence of SCP-2562-JP, which prompted efforts to contain SCP-2562-JP-A instances.
Addendum 2562-JP.2: In order to contain the SCP-2562-JP-A instance, the Foundation, with the cooperation of SCP-2562-JP-A-1, has ensured that the online community of deities mentioned in Interview Log 2562-JP.1 is made aware of the Foundation's role as a conservation agency, establishing a contact form for protection requests. Over 20,000 applications have been submitted to date, which has led to personnel shortages at several containment sites. As an alternative measure until the Foundation becomes ready to accept them, a rejection notice with a simplified worship service has been sent to each SCP-2562-JP-A instance.