Credits
Original: May be found here
Author:
Translator:
Both images were drawn by Gramlin's girlfriend.
Drawing of "The Fabulous Bazoo", submitted by █████ on ██/██/████1
Item #: SCP-289-DE
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-289-DE is to be contained inside a fitting chamber specialized for humanoids in Site-DE17, which must be furnished in the style of a birthday party. A bathtub or toilet are not required. SCP-289-DE is permitted to fill furniture requests for its cell, which can be approved following review by site-command. This generally includes furniture typical for children's birthday parties.
In order to prevent a "Happy Birthday" event from occurring, all regional job advertisements in magazines, newspapers, the internet, or other up-do-date sources have to be reviewed and all job ads concerning SCP-289-DE hindered from publication.
If a "Happy Birthday" event occurs, all agents stationed nearby must be dispatched to large children's birthday parties, (people's) festivals, or other private or public celebrations in the containment site's immediate vicinity to search and apprehend SCP-289-DE.
If possible, SCP-289-DE should be contained in a peaceful manner to evade public attention. For this purpose, the celebration must be ended or the required number of children removed from the affected area. As it possesses a relatively basic mind, SCP-289-DE can be subsequently lured to a containment transporter via false phrases or simple tricks.2 Care should be taken to ensure that no person present approaches SCP-289-DE during its containment process to prevent a possible provocation.
In case of aggressive behavior expressed by SCP-289-DE, all present civilians must be evacuated from the immediate location. Personnel is cleared to use firearms and heavy net guns in this case to properly immobilize SCP-289-DE.
In both cases, class A amnestics are to be administered to all present persons after the fact.
Description: SCP-289-DE designates a humanoid being inside of a massive mascot costume. The costume depicts a roundly-shaped, obese, violet monster with colorful spots on its body, large googly-eyes with wiggling, black, roundly-shaped plastic pupils, green spikes on its back and short, lizard-like stub tail, as well as a large jaw with sharp yellow teeth. An oversized pink bow with colorful spots is present on its neck.
The costume measures 2.30 m in size, and SCP-289-DE's total weight amounts to 243 kg. With the exception of its jaw, the costume does not show any discernible openings and neither has a zipper, nor buttons, Velcro fasteners or other closures.
SCP-289-DE is capable of pulling its jaw to a width of one meter3. The interior of the mouth appears to be entirely black, and attempts to record it, and especially the humanoid inside, have failed.
Radiographic scans and CT imaging revealed the skeleton of an adult human male around 25 - 35 years of age in the interior, but both organs and other organic components are missing. The costume is made of a kind of tear- and rip-proof fabric that is plush-like to the touch, but is also thick and resistant enough to withstand even knives cuts, gunshots, and anesthetic darts without notable damage.4 Injuries to the fabric heal in a matter of seconds to a few minutes, depending on the size and type of the injury. The interior is filled with synthetic wool, seemingly replacing the lacking organic mass. Above the 20 cm wide eyes, large, thick eyebrows with long hairs are located, which are capable of independent locomotion and show SCP-289-DE's emotional states.
SCP-298-DE refers to itself as "The Fabulous Bazoo", and shows a highly childish behavior and mindset. Usually, it exhibits a cooperative demeanor, presenting an overactive, ever-cheerful behavior, as long as one does not provoke it or make a negative statement about it.
Due to its physical stature and weight, it generally moves rather slowly, and can move at fast walking speed at most. However, it is surprisingly fast with its hands, showing a high level of skill, reflexes, and coordination ability, whether it is by swiftly grabbing and throwing an object or person, juggling, during sleight-of-hand, painting simple pictures, or playing plain instruments. Tests also concluded that it is capable of lifting weights up to 300 kg, and performing punches strong enough to penetrate reinforced wooden doors.
Outside of a "Happy Birthday" event, SCP-289-DE appears to permanently celebrate in its cell. It neither needs sleep, nor does it produce waste products, feasting solely on dishes and drinks typical for children's birthday parties, such as party meatballs, sweet sodas, sweets, or birthday cakes5.
Although it will plea nearby personnel to celebrate with it, rejections with a friendly and, if possible, gentle explanation are advisable to evade a possible provocation. However, when interrupted during a party or attacked, SCP-289-DE reacts extremely aggressively and violently, which, due to its anomalous strength, frequently ends in the death of bystanders.
Advertisements appear irregularly in local print media or websites, offering performances by "The Fabulous Bazoo" for children's birthday parties or other big events directed at children for cheap prices (designated SCP-289-DE-1). Except for a telephone number, there are no references to the author(s), neither names nor locations, and investigations into call or IP address tracking were fruitless.
If a person become attentive of SCP-289-DE-1 and orders SCP-289-DE by phone for their event that meets the minimum requirements of a fitting celebration for SCP-289-DE, a "Happy Birthday" event occurs, causing SCP-289-DE to vanish from its containment cell in an unknown way, whereafter it materializes at the affected event some time later.6
The following requirements must be provided for a celebration to trigger a „Happy Birthday“ event:
- There must be at least five children, who have not reached their 10th year of life yet.
- The festival must be organized for a child, for example a birthday, or should be mainly focused on children, for example a celebration for Children's Day.
- The celebration must feature properties of a typical children's party, such as fitting decorations, music, and dishes.
- The scheduled program must be designed for celebrations directed at children, e.g. typical games for children's parties.
Attempts to call SCP-289-DE-1 without planned celebrations or if the latter would not fit the requirements for a "Happy Birthday" event have so far always resulted in a loud sound reminiscent of a air trunk horn, before the line was constantly unavailable.
SCP-289-DE will then attempt to find the largest possible group of children, and draw their attention to himself. It will attempt everything to entertain the children and make them laugh. In the process, it will sing amusing children's songs, give hugs, and utilize different items it can extract from its large black mouth, such as large amounts of confetti, streamers, several briefly alive balloon animals, instruments, various sweets or small presents.7
It always seems friendly and cheerful while doing so, provided the children keep their manners accordingly. However, SCP-289-DE will also select children, who behave "evil" in his eyes. But the meaning of "evil" can be broadly diversified in the eyes of SCP-289-DE, and can include aggressive behavior towards him, attacks, insults directed at present children, bad mood, boredom or crying, screaming, or attempts to escape SCP-289-DE.
SCP-289-DE will then show his displeasure through his eyebrows, followed by an attempt to grab the affected child and push it directly in its mouth. Small children fully disappear in the process, while bigger children are first pushed half-way in its mouth, with their backbone and neck being fractured in a jerking movement, before being consumed wholly. Given that SCP-289-DE does not possess digestive organs, it is unknown what happens to the swallowed children's bodies, or where they go. Should a person, 11 years or older, prove themselves to be "evil", for instance through disturbing SCP-289-DE while it entertains the children, or prevent the child's consumption, SCP-289-DE will react with enormous strength. Once all disturbances have been taken care of, SCP-289-DE will attempt to continue its entertainment program, regardless of the present children's reaction.
The "Happy Birthday" event terminates automatically once the festivity ends, or the minimum number of children is no longer present. If it is not contained before then, SCP-289-DE will dematerialize without a trace, and will not re-appear until the next "Happy Birthday" event.
Discovery: SCP-289-DE appeared on 14/06/2014 during a large children's party in ██████ in Rhineland-Palatinate, where Agent Schilling was just in transit with her seven year old son in her free time. SCP-289-DE had just gathered a group of children around it, before it became aggressive and attacked several persons, including Agent Schilling's son. Agent Schilling was able to render SCP-289-DE harmless and alert an MTF unit nearby, who could transport SCP-298-DE to the nearest Foundation site. Class B amnestic treatment was administered to witnesses, with the incident being disguised as a gas cylinder explosion.
WARNING: Access to interview SCP-289-DE-α permitted only with the consent of the senior researcher!
