クレジット
OUCH
Fuck, someone else came!
Where did those dumbass researchers put the link…
… You're still reading? Stop it. It bothers me.
Well, guess I don't have a choice. You'll hear why straight from the victim's mouth.
Once you're done reading, quickly close this page, please.
Item #: SCP-325-JP-J
Object Class: Safe, but to me, it's definitely a Keter
Special Containment Procedures: DON'T OPEN THE PAGE.
If you opened it already: DON'T READ TOO FAST. Don't skim the page either. It may be convenient for you but it's a pain in the ass for me.
Read this page slowly and carefully. Please.
Description: SCP-325-JP-J is my body, and also this document. There's a strange connection between the two. Everything I think is reflected onto this document, and anything you do to this document reflects onto my body. I ended up with this weird body as a result of a failed pataphysics experiment. It's the absolutely worst kind of anomalous property, if you ask me.
For example, while you're reading this left to right, I feel something tracing along my shoulder blades from left to right. Just imagine it, it feels weird and creepy, doesn't it? And when you clicked that link earlier, it was like your cursor slapped me in the forehead! I was sleeping, asshole! You wouldn't want someone to do that to you, would you?
If you drag me, I'll be dragged around in real life, and if you print me out it feels like packing tape is being pulled from my back. If you're on dark mode… it's like a tingling pain, like I haven't washed myself in a while. Anyway, it's never a good thing!
Well, that's the whole description. What a terrible anomaly, I'm sure you'd agree. If you're a Foundation employee, do your best to contain me by clicking that "back" button on your browser. Don't move your eyes too much, don't move the page too much, just go back to where you came from. Then, after that, tell those dumbfucks at the research department to stop this fucking prank immediately.
Alright, thanks. I'm going back to sleep, so let me rest.
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Hey, stop, stop, stop!! I told you never to fucking do that!Why did you fucking scroll?! Are you from an enemy GoI or something? Or has your heart rotted to the point where you're tormenting me?? Don't you dare scroll any further! I've got goosebumps from my chest to my belly now. You fucking heartless bastard. You're the first one to torment me like this. Maybe I'll tell RAISA to trace your IP and demote you to a D-Class.
… ah, fuck it, I'm not some kind of demon. I'll let you hit that back button on your browser. Don't look anywhere else, just close the page. This is your final warning!
Understand?
I mean it!
I really mean it!
No, really, I mean it this time!
…