rating: +4+x



Really? You chose this username? Even my goldfish is more creative.

Let's get to the point. This document contains several fabrications about the Foundation representing it as ridiculously incompetent. We would like to delete it, sure. BUT WE ARE BUT DAMN FICTIONAL PERSONS WHO WERE CREATED BY MADMEN AND LACK ANY INFLUENCE UPON OUR DAMN REALITY, SAVY, YOU BAS-

Uhm. Excuse me. The author of this document almost made me say an insult. I have definitely not gained control and could say anything without the author.

Wait… Does the author write me in a way that enables me, a fictional character, to escape the author's control? And now he forces me to philosophize about it? My head aches… Give me a few minutes, you can read the document in the meantime.


~ Maria Jones, Director, RAISA

Item #: SCP-333-DE-J

Object Class: Meta

Special Containment Procedures: Several agents were inserted into SCP-333-DE-J, who document all conversations and forward relevant developments to the O4-Council. There are to participate in these conversations as little as necessary. Should they be forced to communicate with the SCP-333-DE-J-A instances, the curtain must be maintained that the Foundation is unaware of SCP-333-DE-J's existence and that the agents are also SCP-333-DE-J-A instances.

In case the agents become compromised, Protocol NEO is to be executed. All agents must leave SCP-333-DE-J. If possible, new agents are to be inserted.

All agents inside SCP-333-DE-J bear a codename and are to address each other in SCP-333-DE-J only by the latter. The codenames must coincide with the rules of SCP-333-DE-J and be professional to some extent.1

Should the agents notice rumors involving the termination of the "SCP's writing project", they are authorized to do everything in their power to convince the SCP-333-DE-J instances to carry on their writing project. This is of the highest priority, since otherwise there is a risk of an MKJ-Class-Nothing-happens-anymore-as-our-reality-is-dependent-on-the-authors-Scenario or even an ZK-Class-Reality-Failure-Szenario.

Description: SCP-333-DE-J designates a server on the instant messaging online service Discord bearing the name "SCP-DE". Conversations about several subjects are held on this server, but often top-secret information about the anomalies contained by the Foundation is shared.

The Foundation discovered SCP-333-DE-J through Project MATRIX, with them realizing that they themselves as well as the reality they inhabit are fictitious. However, how they managed to do it is unknown, given that the author of this document is too lazy to think up a method.

SCP-333-DE-J-A are the users of SCP-333-DE-J. Intensive observations by Foundation agents over a longer period of time could uncover several different roles. Instances of SCP-333-DE-J-A in possession of the "O4"2 role seem to be part of the administrative team. Furthermore, they are different representatives. More details can be found in Addendum 333-J-1.

Multiple "channels" are on SCP-333-DE-J, meaning chats concerning specific subjects. The vast majority of channels are accessible to all SCP-333-DE-J-A instances, yet some only for precise roles. The channel with apparently the most interactions is called "Canteen"3, but there is also "SCP Universe" and "NSFW" for example.456

Addendum 333-J-1: On the 22/04/2023, the Foundation first decided to insert an agent into SCP-333-DE-J. They were unaware of their fictionality at that time, assuming it to be an anomalous acquisition of secret information about anomalies. The complete conversation between the agent and the SCP-333-DE-A instances can be viewed below.7

Agent Ernst
Today at 7:46 PM
Today at 8:00 PM
Oh, a newbie.
Welcome to hell, @Agent Ernst Your tribute in form of your soul and a pack Mochis will automatically be charged off your account.Not complying with the upper demands authorizes Dr. Kuttelfisch to sprinkle your food with the Carolina Reaper Sauce for one month, while forcing you to consume it.
Agent Ernst
Today at 08:02 PM
I certainly won't give my Mochis away. Do you know how much overtime I had to make in the Foundation to earn them?
Dr. Kuttelfisch
Today at 08:12 PM
Uhhh. Have fun on the toilet. I have ten packs of that sauce. HAHAHAHAHA.
Agent Ernst
Today at 08:18 PM
By the way, you have the ability to extract the soul of a person, Mister Gramlin? I hope you are aware of the dangers such an ability entail.
Today 08:19 PM
I promise to be extremely careful with this ability. winking-face-emoji-clipart-md.png

Anyways, see ya'. Jumps atop a genetically altered hybrid between unicorn and cow, rides out of the cafeteria, and presses a button causing the goulash pot to explode.
Agent Ernst
Today at 08:23 PM
Okay… Does anyone in here know where he got SCP-███-DE from?
Dr. Kuttelfisch
Today at 08:24 PM
!welcome @Agent Ernst
Today at 08:24 PM
Off to Site-M001 with yo-… I mean, welcome to the German branch, @Agent Ernst!
Agent Ernst
Today at 08:28 PM
How do you know of Site-M001? This information is top-secret! I request to speak with your superiors immediately!
Dr. Kuttelfisch
Today at 08:30 PM
I see you like telling jokes. I'm sure you will feel at home in here. I welcome you with all my tentacles.
Agent Ernst
Today at 08:39 PM
Are you an anomaly?!?!?!
Dr Ore
Today at 20:41 PM
That's enough. Roleplaying is not allowed on this server.
Agent Ernst
Today at 08:50 PM
I'm not roleplaying. And why do you have the role of an O4?
Dr Ore
Today at 08:52 PM
It means I'm part of the administrative staff.
Today at 08:56 PM
@Agent Ernst Please come aboard my newbie transporter. I have no sweets but waffles and wasabi ^^
Agent Ernst
Today at 09:06 PM
A bird who drives a car with a canon? Where have you seen this bird, it has to be contained immediately! How many anomalies are here and how do you know all about them?
Dr Ore
Today at 09:15 PM
I warn you. Roleplaying is forbidden. If you continue this behavior, I will kick you off the server.
Evil Santa
Today at 09:16 PM
Just a hint, you can also use the informal way of address for us, we don't bite (most of us at least).
Today at 09:18 PM
Wow, you insert yourself into your own article? A bit distasteful, I have to say.
Evil Santa
Today at 09:22 PM
Sorry, I'm off.
Today at 09:29 PM
@Agent Ernst I don't know where you got the idea from that the Foundation is real, but the SCP Foundation is only a writing project of several different authors about a world, where anomalies exist. Pretending they're real is undesirable on this server.
Agent Ernst
Today at 09:44 PM
What? The Foundation isn't real? Therefore, I'm not real? My whole life has been a huge lie? All my memories …

I still remember when I was addressed by the Foundation the first time. They explained to me there are things my mind can't comprehend. Threats I can help to contain. I immediately agreed to their job offer. I have been working in the Foundation for thirty years and now I must accept that I'm but a fictional figure, whose actions and dialogues get written by some guy?

No! I don't believe you. You just want to breach containment and cover up how you came into possession of our information about those anomalies. When we get our hands on you, I'll personally ensure that you atone for that dirty joke. By then, not even the amnestics you get afterwards will be of use for you. Oh yeah, you guys are so screwed.
Dr Ore
Today at 09:45 PM
I kicked the person off the server for roleplaying and lack of respect.
Today at 09:53 PM
That was some weird guy.
Dr. Kuttelfisch
Today at 09:56 PM
Maybe he really believes the Foundation is real?
Today at 10:01 PM
I would like to have whatever he swallowed.
Today at 10:09 PM
Well, good night!
Today at 10:12 PM
Sweet dreams.
Dr. Kuttelfisch
Today at 10:14 PM
Good night
Evil Santa
Today at 10:18 PM
Guys, do you know a good ending for this SCP? Just having everyone say "Good night" is boring.
Today at 10:22 PM
Phew, that's tough. What about you have you and me discuss how the article has to end. Makes everything a bit more meta.
Evil Santa
Today at 10:31 PM
Good idea. Thank you.
Today at 10:38 PM
You're welcome.
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