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Credits
Title: SCP-3868-JP - And Yet It's a Takoyaki
Author:taiyousun
Year: 2025
Item #: SCP-3868-JP
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Given the difficulty in predicting and/or preventing the occurrence of SCP-3868-JP, the containment procedures are to focus on mitigating its impact.
Any SCP-3868-JP vectors, including posters, books and social networking posts, are to be removed upon discovery with the cover story "Injunction by Rights Holder" or "Potential Misinformation Dissemination" being applied.
Communities of SCP-3868-JP affected individuals are to be forcibly disbanded by applying an appropriate cover story such as "Improper Management." After disbandment, the affected individuals are to be administered amnestics and then released. Suppression by Mobile Task Forces is authorized for communities exhibiting any anomalous activity.
Description: SCP-3868-JP is an anomalous influence that has been observed to affect the thoughts of approximately 0.0002% of Homo sapiens (hereafter referred to as "the affected individuals") when they perceive the information: "The Earth is a takoyaki."1 Most humans recognize this information through communication from the affected individuals, although approximately 2% of them report having conceived it on their own. SCP-3868-JP has been confirmed to affect individuals unaware of the existence of takoyaki, who spontaneously acquire knowledge of takoyaki upon the onset of SCP-3868-JP.
The affected individual becomes convinced that the Earth is a takoyaki, and at the same time spontaneously conceives of multiple ideas that are founded on the premise that the Earth is a takoyaki. The affected individual also engages in aggressive activity against the prevailing theories disproving that the Earth is a takoyaki. This results in social isolation of the subject, who then begins to either search for other affected individuals or to disseminate the information that the Earth is a takoyaki. One affected individual is known to be able to spread SCP-3868-JP to approximately two to five other persons through dissemination. These individuals eventually band together to form a community.
These affected communities often merge with each other to grow in size; the largest known community had a total of 361 members. As a community develops, its influence increases, generating dozens of affected persons through information dissemination while actively organizing demonstrations.
Amnesticization is effective in eliminating the anomalous mental influence on the affected individuals. However, they are re-exposed to SCP-3868-JP once they perceive the information anew that the Earth is a takoyaki. In addition, it has been confirmed that individuals who once experienced SCP-3868-JP have a higher probability of spontaneously conceiving this idea after administration of amnestics than the average human. It is unclear whether this is due to the influence of SCP-3868-JP, the affected individuals' own mindset, or the environment surrounding them.
Addendum: The following is a series of excerpts from a list of ideas that the affected individuals conceive at the onset of SCP-3868-JP, and the associated behaviors.
Idea: The Earth rotates to heat itself slowly and evenly with the Sun.
Behavior: N/A
Idea: The Earth is currently in ideal baking condition, with the tectonic plates crispy and the mantle creamy.
Behavior: In one known case, an affected community voluntarily engaged in extinguishing a devastating wildfire. The community members reported that they thought they had to put out the fire so the Earth would not "get overcooked."
Idea: The ocean is a sauce brushed on the Earth.
Behavior: Most affected individuals do not take any noteworthy actions. A few of them are known to dump large quantities of oyster sauce or soy sauce into the ocean with the intent of adjusting its taste. They have also been noted to expend subsidies and install piping in areas where sewage systems have not been established.
Idea: The woodlands are green laver.
Behavior: They recommend either deforestation or forest protection. Each community has internal factions conflicting over whether the amount of sprinkled green laver is too much or just right.
Idea: Petroleum and natural gas are responsible for the juiciness one can experience when eating the Earth.
Behavior: They express opposition to oil and natural gas extraction and thermal power generation. Peaceful protests such as demonstration marches are often chosen as the means, although violent actions have also been observed, including confrontations with police and extortion and assaults against refinery and thermal power plant employees.
Idea: All animals, humans included, are katsuobushi.
Behavior: They dance in the daytime; regarding this behavior they claim that it is only natural for heated katsuobushi to do so.2 The affected communities provide funding for various festival held during the day and encourage participants to dance.
Idea: The Earth's inner core is an octopus.
Behavior: Most affected individuals do not take any noteworthy actions. When questioned about this particular idea, they claim that the Earth's inner core contains iron, which is essentially identical to octopus because both turn red when heated, and thus the Earth is a takoyaki.
Idea: Takoyaki is served as a set of six pieces.
Behavior: Many affected individuals seek to create one or more new takoyaki. While multiple approaches have been observed, the most common is to attempt to create a new planet or satellite by splitting the Earth; in one example, a community was planning to recreate the process of lunar formation via meteorites or human-induced explosions. However, these approaches have been criticized even among the affected parties, who consider that the Moon and similar satellites are undercooked judging by their hues and therefore inappropriate as takoyaki, and that any attempt to create such satellites is a waste of the Earth's dough.
Another community was confirmed to have funded a Mars colonization project with the intent of converting Mars to what could be considered a takoyaki, that is, terraforming it into an environment similar to the Earth. Despite objections from other parties － such as "the Earth is a takoyaki, but Mars is far from being such" － the community argued that humanity subconsciously perceives Mars as more suitable as a takoyaki than the Earth, based on the fact that the stereotypical Martian is portrayed as an octopus-like entity.
Part of the affected individuals do not take any noteworthy action even after conceiving this idea. These individuals, while admitting that they prefer the common takoyaki to be served in a set of six pieces, insist that one extra-large takoyaki is sufficient on its own.