Item #: SCP-500-FR
Threat Level: Blue ●
Object Class: Cerberus Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-500-FR-A is to remain in █████'s possession in order to preserve his status as SCP-500-FR-Z. The latter is to continually watch over SCP-500-FR-B in order to insure proper functioning, namely through the use of SCP-500-FR-E instances. Goods produced from SCP-500-FR-C-FLORA instances are to be managed by PoI-504-GF at the prices specified in the dedicated documents, which are to be re-negotiated and updated on the first Tuesday of every month. Should PoI-504-GF become unable to manage these goods, or should negotiations fail, MTF Beta-2 ("The Bayou Boys") may be entrusted with supervising the manufacture and sale of SCP-500-FR-C goods at the retail outlets managed by the Department of External Affairs. Other SCP-500-FR-C instances detected outside of SCP-500-FR-B must be immediately transported to Site-Nun terminated by MTF Beta-2. SCP-500-FR-D and -E instances must be supervised by █████ in accordance with the procedures from document 500-FR/Ω. SCP-500-FR-Z must remain within SCP-500-FR-B at all times.
Should █████ lose his status as SCP-500-FR-Z, an ΩK-Class scenario ("End-of-death") is to be expected and appropriate measures must be implemented immediately. Such a scenario is also to be expected if █████ distances himself from the SCP Foundation.
20██/11/02 Update: Following SCP-500-FR-Z's response to the 20██/11/01 incident, deemed irresponsible, MTF Omega-0 ("Ará Orún") is now forbidden from interacting with SCP-500-FR-Z. █████'s status is currently under assessment.
20██/11/02 Update: We have taken the liberty of removing this note. He had to let her go, it was the right choice.
Photograph of SCP-500-FR-B taken by MTF █████-█ on 19██/██/██.
Description: SCP-500-FR refers to a collection of anomalies all located within Nexus FP-04: "La Rue Macabre", currently all under the Foundation's control.
SCP-500-FR-A is a gilded, 12.5cm long with an oval bow cast iron with a frog leg-shaped bow pin tumbler-like and rusty key.
SCP-500-FR-A is a conceptual entity comparable to an ownership title from a metaphysical and thaumaturgical standpoint. When SCP-500-FR-A manifests, it typically takes the shape of a key, although its exact appearance varies between owners. So far, only Agent ███████ ██████, from MTF Beta-2 ("The Bayou Boys") has managed to manifest SCP-500-FR-A as a tattoo (see Addendum 500-FR-Z/1). Being in physical possession of the key itself is not an indication of SCP-500-FR-A's actual ownership: research is being conducted to determine whether it can be stolen, or whether it can only be ceded, sold or exchanged. The dictated owner of SCP-500-FR-A is designated SCP-500-FR-Z. The exact nature of SCP-500-FR-A as well as its original owner are as of yet undetermined. A squadron of the DECEASED is currently in search of additional information regarding SCP-500-FR-A and the way it was created. This research also regards SCP-500-FR-B. For unknown reasons, SCP-500-FR-A cannot be photographed. A potential link between SCP-500-FR-A and Dr ████ ████ is currently being investigated.
SCP-500-FR-A is commonly referred to by its owners as "The Key" or "The Major Key." The latter has been attributed to one of the former owners, PoI-504-S ("Scratch"). However, SCP-500-FR-A and SCP-500-FR as a whole have not exhibited properties related to music or linguistics.
SCP-500-FR-A was recovered on 19██/██/██ by Agent Stanley Wesson while on leave. He claims to have won the key as a prize after a game with PoI-504-S but only discovered its exact nature a few days later, after noticing various reactions from the other inhabitants of La Rue Macabre. Below is a transcript of his discovery report as well as the poster created by PoI-504-S.
YESTERDAY DURING LEAVE WON POKER AGAINST DEVIL -(STOP)-
PLAYED MAJOR KEY -(STOP)-
REQUEST TELEPHONE CALL TOMORROW AT HOTEL -(STOP)-
B4 OFFICE NEW ORLEANS -(FINAL STOP)-
TRANSCRIPT OF THE TELEPHONE CALL TO AGENT WESSON
DATE: ██/██/19██
ATTENDEES: - Agent Stanley Wesson, MTF Beta-2
- Agent Winston Smith, MTF Beta-2
- Commander █████ █████, MTF Beta-2
[BEGIN CALL]
Agent W. Smith: Hello? To whom do I owe the pleasure?
Commander █████ █████: Smith, this is your superior, Commander █████ █████. Is Agent Wesson around? He requested a telephone call about an affair that sounds confusing. However, I need to take a deposition or something, because bothering Foundation personnel over a silly joke is unacceptable. Can you hand him hover?
Agent W. Smith: Yes sir! Right away, but I'm afraid it's not a silly joke. (Muffled) Stanley! Come over here, it's the Commander!
Agent S. Wesson: Good evening sir. You're calling because of my telegram from yesterday?
Commander █████ █████: Indeed. I'll be honest with you, I have trouble believing this telegram was written in any context other than drunken. You think it's funny? Do you have a drinking problem, Wesson?
Agent S. Wesson: I-I… Listen sir. What I'm about to tell you is entirely real, and you can even come to the Rue to check it out yourself!
Commander █████ █████: Settle down, Wesson, and elaborate. What do you mean by "Played Major Key" exactly? And who's this Devil?
Agent S. Wesson: Alright. Three, no, four days ago, I used the leave days you granted us to go hang out with coworkers at the Rue Macabre.
Commander █████ █████: FP-04? What the hell were you doing in that filthy abnormals' hideout?
Agent S. Wesson: Well, after regularly talking to them about the numerous anomalies they can inform us about or help us with, we've gotten to know these "abnormals" as you call them. So we went to spent a bit of time in the quietness of the Rue, under the trees. As the evening came, we saw things were getting busy at the Never'n'Not. It's a welcoming restaurant, they do shows and they're open at night. We got some grub, Pyroclastic Pirogue were on stage, they were mostly doing covers of Robert Johnson and Leadbelly.
Commander █████ █████: You're digressing, Wesson.
Agent S. Wesson: Sorry sir. So, after the concert, ol' Joe went to bed, but his man Scratch-
Commander █████ █████: His man? Did I hear that correctly? They're…
Agent S. Wesson: Indeed sir, you heard it. Although, I'm not certain a vengeful swamp spirit and the Devil himself can truly be called homosexual… So, as I was saying, Scratch, this lunatic, came to our table to have a drink. More than one, actually.
Commander █████ █████: Did you have a drink as well?
Agent S. Wesson: Certainly not, sir, it's forbidden! Moreover, the local spiked bourbon is deadly if you're not an anomalous entity from the Rue Macabre. He joined our game of poker and I took him to the cleaners, if I do say so myself. He went all the way to putting his suspenders on the table, but he wouldn't stop. The others had already put their cards down, but we played all night. After a number of drinks that would be indecent to communicate over the telephone, the demon put a golden key down on the table. You know, like in Douglas Fairbanks movies, the kind of key that opens treasure chests. Exactly like that. I of course took everything in one fell swoop, suspenders included, and since it was getting late I quickly ran off to meet up with Winston, I mean Agent Smith, at the hotel we're staying.
Commander █████ █████: I'm talking to an agent who played poker against the Devil and won. Unbelievable. And what else does the Devil do?
Agent S. Wesson: Well, we've written a report about each PoI in the Rue Macabre, which has been made available to you, but in a nutshell he can make the moon go black when he's angry, hooked up with the swamp spirit, has a terrifying horse stable, you wouldn't want to see his dog even in your worst nightmares, he plays the drums and has a keen interest in dynamite and blues music.
Commander █████ █████: Why did I even ask. Alright, this key then, it's the Major Key?
Agent S. Wesson: Well, how should I explain… I got back and kinda forgot about the key honestly. I was already having trouble finding someone who would buy the suspenders, the police intensified their search for illegal bars, and therefore most pawnshops closed from fear of raids. Only yesterday while back at the Rue Macabre did I see a poster about the key, and searched my pockets to find not the golden key the Devil gave me, but a slightly damaged Chevrolet key. I immediately went to the graveyard to find Scratch, who was demonically eager to take the key from me. I obviously sensed something was up so I played around with him a little bit. He wouldn't stop calling it the "Major Key," and from what I gathered, it's the key to Sheol, his ranch in the countryside. I'd never seen the bugger in that kind of state, he almost looked afraid of me. The key is very obviously anomalous, but regarding its actual effects, I think Scratch is hiding someth- (Agent Wesson screams)
Commander █████ █████: Wesson? Wesson? WESSON, ANSWER ME!
(Static covers more screams in the distance)
[END CALL]
Following this call, MTF Eta-7 ("Spheres within Spheres") was rushed to New Orleans. They found their hotel room empty, a hanging phone and all light bulbs shattered, but no signs of struggle. They managed to access FP-04, but local residents were unable to provide further information to MTF agents, assuring however that both agents would reappear safe and sound. Taking into account the supposed thaumaturgic abilities of certain residents due to their theological importance, notably PoI-504-S ("Scratch"), PoI-504-J ("Cotton Eye Joe") and PoI-504-BS ("Baron Samedi"), the MTF agents simply took Akiva radiation measurements, thereby confirming the theological aspect of [REDACTED]. Additionally, an agent collected a poster from the bulletin board, available below.
The following document is a poster found torn from the bulletin board at La Rue Macabre.
WANTED NOTICE: A worthless key. (I swear, it's not worth anything, I just really need it.)
It probably looks like one of these two drawings right now.
honestly i kinda forgot…
Last time I saw my key it was at good ol' Willie's.
I promise it's just a regular key that's important to me.
If you would be so kind, bring it back if you find it!
Cross my heart and hope to die, may hell take me if I lie
It's just important to me.
Scratch, everyone's saying you played poker late at Willie's and you lost the key to one of the Boys. You remember?
-Joe
Looks like Willie's new bourbon recipe really did a number on me.
- Scratch
TRANSCRIPT OF THE TELEPHONE CALL RECEIVED BY COMMANDER █████ █████
DATE: ██/██/19██
ATTENDEES: - Agent Stanley Wesson, MTF Beta-2
- Commander █████ █████, MTF Beta-2
[BEGIN CALL]
Agent W. Smith: Hello sir? Sorry for short-circuiting the procedure, but we're back.
Commander █████ █████: E… Excuse me? Smith? But… what? You… how?
Agent W. Smith: Agent Wesson is still a bit shaken, so I'm giving the call. Please excuse the slow pace, but these last few days have been trying for us.
Commander █████ █████: Wh…? Wesson, I implore you, explain yourself! We sent an entire MTF after you, where have you guys been?
Agent W. Smith: I don't know how long we've been gone exactly, but last time you called, Wesson had snatched the Major Key while playing poker against Scratch, you remember? Well, while Stan was on the phone with you, we were, one could say, attacked… well, taken.
Commander █████ █████: By what? By who? In your hotel room?
Agent W. Smith: Yes. Right here, in the middle of the room, it appeared in the blink of an eye. All the lights exploded and the sun's light flickered, forming a large, dark cloak, at the same time pitch black and… misty? Within it was a man at least two hundred and ten centimeters tall, with stormy glasses. He grabbed me first with his black-gloved left hand. I swear his arms were not supposed to be this long… His grip was cold, so cold, colder than death itself as my old mother would say, and his finger wrapped around my face to block my screams.
Commander █████ █████: What about Wesson?
Agent W. Smith: In the darkness of the room, I caught a glimpse of a blood-red hand emerging from the dark cloud and grabbing Stan's arm. It's probably around this time that the call was cut off on your side. On our side, things were just getting started.
We immediately connected the dots between us having the Key and the appearance of the Dark Man, especially since it's not the first time we've been confronted to him. Regardless, seeing him up close for the first time was quite terrifying, to be honest with you. He headed inside the closet, pulling us with him through the dense shadows. At that point, I could see nothing but my life flashing before my eyes, so to speak. For an awfully long time, we were listening to the moon howling as Papa Legba would say, breathing his misty cloak, seeing nothing but our frightened faces under the dim light of his glasses.
Then, after a while, there was light again. Slight, but blinding nonetheless. I felt mud wetting my trousers when I fell forward, hands first into the water. It was swamp fireflies lighting our path, and apparently the Dark Man had brought us back to the Rue Macabre. Wesson was still holding this goddamn key and grasping it so firmly that you could almost see it piercing through his hand. The Dark Man told us to move forward with a hand gesture, and he followed behind. At first, he was quiet, content with yelling "left!" or "right!" from time to time. Then, he started asking Stan where he got the key. When we told him about the poker game, we heard the air hissing between his teeth. It sounded like one of the steamboats traveling up the river. I thought he was going to kill us right there, but he was satisfied with just that. After a few minutes, he talked to us again, to know if we had the faintest idea of what went down in Sheol. We obviously didn't. He told us it was his former residence, but he left the keys to Scratch many moons ago. He prefers to tune guitars now. That got a good laugh out of us, even though it wasn't the time nor place for that. He told us to never leave Sheol for long, otherwise he would come after us and make sure we never leave it again. We didn't laugh after that, and I believe I heard Stanley snort. He explained that from now on, and until we ceded the key, Wesson would be a cogwheel between Life and Death, and he would need to watch over the plantation. I asked him what would happen if we lost the key, he simply laughed and said that it wouldn't happen. Stan then asked a question, which the Dark Man didn't answer: "What if I die?" We walked a bit more, then we finally arrived.
Sir, we're going back there tonight. We'll write up a tidy, cleanly typed exploration log, and I will personally deliver it to you. For now, just know that at the edge of the swamp is where Hell can be found.
Commander █████ █████: And what does this Hell look like?
Agent W. Smith: A goddamn cotton field.
[END CALL]
SCP-500-FR-B is a 666-hectare extra-dimensional area comprised of numerous plantations, a lake and a dwelling as well as various agricultural equipment. SCP-500-FR-B functions akin to an agricultural business, more specifically the plantations common in Louisiana in the 1800s. The total cultivated surface area, although dependent on the period and the activity of the residents, is around 50%. The main dwelling, the lake, SCP-500-FR-Z's [CENSORED] and the additional housing cover the remaining 50%. The origin of SCP-500-FR-B remains unidentified to this day. According to their testimonies, SCP-500-FR-B has belonged to at least two entities in the past, PoI-504-SM and PoI-504-S, although other theological entities may have participated in all or part of its creation and administration. This matter is currently being investigated, for more information please contact the Tactical Theology Department. SCP-500-FR-B's topology is comparable to a 3-tore: if a subject attempts to leave by going over the surrounding fence, they will end up in the opposite corner of the property. The only currently known exit is through the southern gate. It can currently only be opened by SCP-500-FR-Z.
SCP-500-FR-B's entrance is located in the swamp north-east of La Rue Macabre. There is no road or traced path leading to it. It is impossible for individuals not in possession of SCP-500-FR-A or having never visited it before to enter, since such individuals are incapable of finding the entrance even with correct directions. Various experiments involving DRIs did not help in determining the origin of this anomaly. It is possible to access SCP-500-FR-B without meeting these criteria however, if accompanied by an individual who has been there before.
SCP-500-FR-B's climate is similar to that of Louisiana, with notable differences however: a high pressure zone encompasses the entire area, which prevents any meteorological events other than a slight breeze, and the seasonal cycle is faster than on Earth, with each season lasting around one month. The origin of the slight breeze occasionally felt within SCP-500-FR-B is as of yet undetermined.
SCP-500-FR-B's lake is a 194-hectare body of water at the north-west of the area, flanked by a sparse forest. Part of the latter is located inside the plantation, but a supposedly larger portion is inaccessible due to the fence. The lake's water is potable, albeit loaded with plankton and algae. This lake is not connected to any rivers, and drilling did not reveal any underlying aquifers. The source of the water must therefore be considered anomalous until it is better understood. The water level is also stable, despite the expected evaporation or the various extraction attempts. The lake is also inhabited by several species of non-anomalous [CENSORED] fish, typical of Louisiana. A wooden pier and a one-person boat can also be found at the south-west of the lake, and the keys are ██████████████████████████████ currently unavailable.
The main dwelling within SCP-500-FR-B is a two-story Antebellum-style residence named "Hilbert's Dream", constructed mostly out of cypress wood. Various dating techniques have shown that this wood is [CENSORED] years old, which contradicts current non-anomalous geological knowledge. The wood making up the residence has also been shown to be resistant to fire and various forms of rot and mold. Research to determine the exact composition and resistance of this wood is ongoing. Research interrupted for now.
Although Hilbert's Dream's exterior size has been determined to be [REDACTED], the inside is much larger. The number of floors and bedrooms per floor is being researched, the highest nominal room number transmitted to the Foundation via SCP-500-FR's records being $f_{\omega+1}(64)$. In addition to these bedrooms, the residence is fitted with kitchens, communal shower rooms and living rooms placed periodically between bedrooms. All of these facilities are identical except for singular modifications carried out by residents. All rooms with access to running water are connected by a cast iron pipe system of unknown total length. The pipes dive straight down, reaching a depth that is still being determined. The water coming out of this pipe system is potable and is chemically similar to Mississippi river water. The source of this water is as of yet unknown.
Room service and housekeeping inside Hilbert's Dream are carried out by instances of SCP-500-FR-E, under SCP-500-FR-Z's command. Each month, the order of the rooms is reorganized by the latter in order to make room for newcomers. The one two unique rooms is are SCP-500-FR-Z's office, accessible only to him using SCP-500-FR-A. (20██/11/02 update: Room #4987 is inaccessible, the door is blocked by wooden planks)
SCP-500-FR-Z's office is ███ ███ ██ █ █ █ █ ███ ███ █ ██████ varnished, ████████ by ██ ██████ ███████. ███ ██████ present on ██ █████ ██ ██ █████████ ███, and ████ ████ ██ ██████ impossible ██ ████. The ██████ ████████: ███ office ██████ ████ ██ █████ █████ ███, █████ ████████ █ ███ red and black, ██ ████████████, ██ ████████████ █ ███, █ storage █████ █ ██████████ ██ ██████, █ ████████ ████████████ ██ SCP-500-FR-Z, ███ ████████ ████████ allowing for ███████ █████████████ ███ ████████ ██ ███-███-██-█, ██████ ██ ███ paper stack ██ ██████ ██ ██ ███████ █'█████████ █████████. All additions to this inventory are mentioned thereafter.
19██/02/28 update: Following research efforts by Prs ██████ and F██████, a radio transmitter connected to an interface between SCP-500-FR-B and the Noosphere has been successfully installed in SCP-500-FR-Z's office, allowing the latter to communicate with MTF Omega-0.
19██/12/03 update: SCP-500-FR-B is now energetically powered by a perpetual electrical system, allowing the use of electricity in Hilbert's Dream and the plantation.
20██/16/08 update: As suggested by Dr Mélodie Klawsky, and in response to the Foundation's record-keeping needs, SCP-500-FR-B has been equipped with an access point to DEEPWELL servers in the form of a terminal in SCP-500-FR-Z's office, also allowing access to the World Wide Web.
20██/12/25 update: [REDACTED] Zeuxzokyuc cerhzt enzafgozfgvrelure.
In addition to this dwelling, several granaries and silos are distributed across the area, used mainly for storage of SCP-500-FR-C products. These buildings are equipped for the harvest and storage of agricultural goods, more specifically cereals, similarly to XIXth century American plantations. No improvement or modernization of these techniques and equipment is currently planned. As of 19██/██/██, the granaries, silos and threshing areas cover a total surface area of 33 ha for an available storage capacity of ████ m3. These storage units contain agricultural goods, transformed or not, from SCP-500-FR-C-FLORA, once harvested by SCP-500-FR-D.
SCP-500-FR-C refers to the entirety of the anomalous flora and fauna inhabiting SCP-500-FR-B. Only anomalous beings are classified as SCP-500-FR-C; non-anomalous species such as tall grass and certain insect species are also present, although their origin is unknown. It is thought that these species entered SCP-500-FR-B with the help of an animal vector, for example by clinging on to the clothes of entities entering and leaving SCP-500-FR-B.
The most widespread SCP-500-FR-C instances are anomalous varieties of crops commonly found in Louisianian plantations. Although their anomalous properties are diverse, they all exhibit a low yield, high environmental resistance and a growth rate about twice the usual. The latter anomalous property allows the crops to develop despite SCP-500-FR-B's anomalous climate. Documentation and processing of these instances is handled by the Department of Agrarian Funds, which also keeps track of sale records.
| SCP-500-FR-C/FLORA/MAIZE |
| Status |
In production, 12 harvests per year |
| Demand |
High |
| Value |
$370/t as of 2022/██/██, readjusted price available in sales history |
| Yield |
40 cwt/ha |
| Identifier |
Black maize |
| Description |
An anomalous variant of maize, capable of resisting very high temperatures. Also allows for a protein intake of 27 g for 100 g of corn. Grows in clusters of 5, possible presence of eyes between the kernels which need to be removed during threshing. |
| Department of Agrarian Funds, SCP Foundation |
| Yearly recorded sales |
| SCP-500-FR-C/FLORA/MAIZE |
| Years recorded |
1930 to 2022, representative years |
| Year |
Sales in tons |
Revenue - Notes |
| 1930 |
2681 |
$20,632 - Acquisition of SCP-500-FR |
| 1935 |
2720 |
$23,012 |
| 1936 |
2699 |
$34,976 - Nationwide shortage of cereals. |
| 1940 |
2833 |
$19,666 - Increase in manpower but global recession. |
| 1947 |
3001 |
$99,521 - Cereal market picks up, beginning of the Marshall Plan. |
| 1948 |
3005 |
$51,012 - Fierce competition with the non-anomalous European cereal market, debut of GoI Marshall, Carter & Dark on the market. |
| 1952 |
2725 |
$21,451 - Buyback of PoI-504-GF's debt in exchange for [REDACTED]. |
| 1953 |
2963 |
$78,259 |
| 1960 |
3006 |
$40,510 - Lowest prices since 1942. |
| 1973 |
3001 |
$125,632 - Impact of the end of the Bretton Woods system, high inflation on an international scale. |
| 1983 |
3052 |
$155,902. |
| 1990 |
3100 |
$218,513 - 1st Gulf war, hyperinflation on US markets. |
| 2008 |
3002 |
$359,025 - Subprime crisis, global debt increase, prices skyrocket |
| 2012 |
2961 |
$400,163 - American cereal crisis, pressure on anomalous markets |
| 2022 |
2996 |
Ongoing |
| Department of Agrarian Funds, SCP Foundation |
| SCP-500-FR-C/FLORA/COTTON |
| Status |
In production, 4 harvests per year |
| Demand |
Medium |
| Value |
$3,022/t as of 2022/██/██, readjusted price available in sales history |
| Yield |
2 cwt/ha |
| Identifier |
Bleeding cotton |
| Description |
An anomalous variant of cotton, naturally dyed when in contact with the blood of SCP-500-FR-D instances. The color depends on the manner in which the entity is injured based on unknown criteria. Must be hand-picked to retain its consistency. Maximal competitiveness since the anomalous textile market is correctly contained. Contact the Department of Accounting for a history of transactions. |
| Department of Agrarian Funds, SCP Foundation |
| SCP-500-FR-C/FLORA/PERSIMMON |
| Status |
In production, 3 harvests per year |
| Demand |
Low |
| Value |
$2800/t as of 2022/██/██, readjusted price available in sales history |
| Yield |
16 cwt/ha |
| Identifier |
█████ persimmon |
| Description |
An anomalous species of persimmon tree imported from Nx-██, Japan, by █████. Presents higher levels of sugar, as well as slight hallucinogenic effects. Rendered tolerant to SCP-500-FR-B's climate through crossbreeding. Contact the Department of Accounting for a history of transactions. |
| Department of Agrarian Funds, SCP Foundation |
| SCP-500-FR-C/FLORA/NIGHTSHADE |
| Status |
Wild specimens available for picking |
| Demand |
None |
| Value |
Unmarketable |
| Yield |
Not calculated |
| Identifier |
Murderous nightshade |
| Description |
A wild variant of deadly nightshade shaped like a skull. Used to repel insects and craft very effective lures. No demand, lethal dose about 6 times lower than non-anomalous nightshade (PoI-504-S's conclusions). Probably useful to SCP-500-FR-Z in case of a non-containable SCP-500-FR-D instance. No available trade history. |
| Department of Agrarian Funds, SCP Foundation |
| SCP-500-FR-C/FLORA/NIGHTSHADE |
 |
| Date |
1976/██/██ |
| Author |
Dr █████ |
| Department of Agrarian Funds, SCP Foundation |
TRANSCRIPT OF A VISIT FROM POI-504-GF
DATE: 19██/██/██
NOTES: Transcript by SCP-500-FR-Z. This discussion regards the renovation of the lighting system of SCP-500-FR-B, more specifically Hilbert's Dream as well as [CENSORED], in exchange for postponing a payment deadline.
[BEGIN DISCUSSION]
SCP-500-FR-Z: Fonteyn! C'mere, old rascal!
PoI-504-GF: Howdy there Hades! Still no rain today, huh?
SCP-500-FR-Z: Oh stop it, you anorexic scoundrel, you were already making that joke before Magellan went 'round the earth. And I already told you not to call me that! ████ is good enough.
PoI-504-GF: You really won't get rid of that silly number they gave you, will ya?
SCP-500-FR-Z: I'm afraid not, it's my name now. Now come inside and let's talk business.
(SCP-500-FR-Z approaches an SCP-500-FR-E instance)
Hey, you there, go get Thaumiel and get us some booze, make it snappy!
PoI-504-GF: Maybe, maybe put your spade down first? You look like you're about to bury a body, my poor guy.
SCP-500-FR-Z: Burying a body? Here? Good one partner. No, I was simply ████████ ███ ███████, with ████████ ███ you ███ █████ ██ ████████ ████ ███ Heart ██ █████ ████████ █ █████████ despite the █████ ██████████ here. And, let me remind you that you made this custom handle so I wouldn't ever lose my spade. Took too much of that amnesiac thingamajig you make for them, did ya?
PoI-504-GF: It's amnestics, ████. I already told you several times, looks like you're beginning to lose your marbles as well man!
SCP-500-FR-Z: Oh, you know, ever since I've been here in the countryside, I've been having a hard time keeping up with the terms. Back in my day, all we had was a mix of drugs and electroshocks. Oh, it feels so far away, time passes really strangely here… Anyway, us two, we've got business to discuss. Remember, you're overdue on some payments, Fonteyn.
PoI-504-GF: Holy heck, that Mexican accent is creeping the Devil out of me. That's one thing you didn't forget huh? Let's get talking indeed, I have things to offer. But it's raining buckets back home, would you mind staying outdoors while I'm here?
SCP-500-FR-Z: Not at all, not at all. Let's set up a picnic blanket under the cypresses, that'll be just fine.
[IRRELEVANT PREPARATIONS OMITTED]
SCP-500-FR-Z: So, tell me Giraud, where are my dollars? You haven't paid up for three months partner, I know the Rue needs to survive but I need my gold, the Foundation's getting pushy and they're talking about sending the Alpha-1's to get their hands on the money.
PoI-504-GF: Darn, are the Alpha-1's what I think they are? Very well, I'll make an effort for you. See, things have been complicated lately, the UIU's trying to block trade with the outside world, because apparently it enables market instability, something to do with the Bretton-Woods system. You know, ever since we stopped paying in gold coins, I've been feeling lost… Melon?
SCP-500-FR-Z: No thanks, I'd like to sleep tonight. Still, even without paper money, we'll have to reach an agreement! Hold on, I'll pour you another glass.
PoI-504-GF: What a great host you make! This is a neat little picnic, the warm breeze is just right.
SCP-500-FR-Z: You said it partner, just a moment ago when I was feeding the frogs, I was simply in my overalls, my shirt half-unbuttoned. It's not too hot yet, let's enjoy it while we can!
PoI-504-GF: So, for our little money problems, I have two things to suggest. First is selling the amnestics recipe to this Foundation of yours. After all, it's been sixty years since people found my notes and started making them, as well as other products. It can't get much worse. Also, to be honest, I'm having trouble keeping the pace up, feels like y'all are amnesticizing thousands of people a month, it's crazy!
SCP-500-FR-Z: Ah, that's interesting! The Council would love to make their own amnesiacs. But wouldn't it be a loss of profits for you? (flicks an insect off) Darn mosquitos! They're drawn in by the pie. Here, could you pass the citronella incense?
PoI-504-GF: Of course! Try not to set everything on fire though, the grass is a bit dry here.
SCP-500-FR-Z: No wonder, with how little rain we get! We're lucky to have the lake and the same humidity as the rest of the bayou, can you imagine how hellish this place would be otherwise? Hehehehe, hellish…
PoI-504-GF: Well, to answer your question, not really. I hardly have any uses for money you know, besides shopping for groceries in New Orleans… I'm getting old after like, what, five hundred years? Six hundred? So yeah, it would only serve to cover the last few months' expenses, and a few more until the Americans settle down. Is there any persimmon smoothie left?
SCP-500-FR-Z: Careful with that, the blender runs on the generator! Gas is rare here, you know it better than anyone since you import it!
PoI-504-GF: Oh, about that. You know that besides being a carpenter, I'm still mainly an alchemist, right? Well, I told myself that for a business like yours in 1952, it really lacks some electrical power. I mean, there are no lampposts, you still use candles for lighting, I know we're not the most advanced at the Rue but still! An upgrade would be nice, wouldn't it?
SCP-500-FR-Z: Ah, why not, why not… We'll need to discuss this in more detail then, come back to the plantation in the next few days so we can have a nice talk. Oh right, before you leave, do you have any more of those magic trellises of yours? I'm trying to replant some beanstalks, but those little rascals are giving me a hard time.
PoI-504-GF: Of course! Do you want some help with the blanket?
SCP-500-FR-Z: Don't bother, an imp will take care of it. Safe travels!
[END DISCUSSION]
In addition to plant instances of SCP-500-FR-C, the two other major families of SCP-500-FR-C entities are anomalous insect variants. Their origin is currently unknown, some of them appearing and vanishing following an unknown pattern.
An SCP-500-FR-C-α instance photographed on 2014/██/██ by SCP-500-FR-Z.
The only instances of SCP-500-FR-C-BUG that have been continuously present are referred to as SCP-500-FR-C-α. They are an Acherontia atropos (death's head hawkmoth) colony capable of luminescence in the abdomen. Each entity can produce 0.75 to 1.3 lux. The origin of the light is unknown, as well as the origin of the moths' ability to produce it. The highest observed flashing frequency is 66 hz, with an average of 3 hz.
SCP-500-FR-C-α instances appear to make use of the light to communicate, forming luminous shapes through the collective use of their ability. According to a recent ethological study aiming to determine the cognitive abilities of SCP-500-FR-C-α, researchers noticed intelligence and artistic sensitivity close to those of humans. Although no instances of SCP-500-FR-C-α have been found outside of SCP-500-FR-B, correlation between the moths' appearance and local tales of "skeletal ghost lights" call for constant surveillance of the area. For more information, view the documentation at Site-Nun.
19██/██/██ Update: Studies regarding the links between SCP-500-FR-C-α and SCP-408 are ongoing at Site-Nun.
2005/██/██ Update: Following the destruction of Site-Nun, centered around SCP-500-FR, research on SCP-500-FR-C-α has been transferred to Site-17.
SCP-500-FR-D are a collection of informational entities linked to deceased human or animal beings, commonly referred to as "souls" or "death." Recent thaumatology works appear to indicate that SCP-500-FR-D is the state in which an individual is placed after it dies. These instances are assigned a unique identification number in SCP-500-FR literature. The appearance of SCP-500-FR-D instances is not correlated to that of their once living bodies however, but tends to reflect the nature of the information transported by these instances. There is currently no known way to physically interact with SCP-500-FR-D instances. The duration of their existence has not been confirmed to be indefinite, but the oldest identifiable instance corresponds to an individual born [REDACTED] ago.
The origin of these instances, as well as their exact nature, are unknown. SCP-500-FR-D instances retain the entirety of the memories and personality they had when they were alive, and are able to interact with the other elements of SCP-500-FR as if they were not anomalous. Although the duration may vary from one instance to another, all individuals who become SCP-500-FR-D follow an identical journey inside SCP-500-FR.
Upon arrival, the entity is judged by SCP-500-FR-Z using the protocol described in document 500-FR/Ω and a PMPL (post-mortem penal labor) sentence is decided. Depending on the entity's actions during its lifetime, this labor can include (non-exhaustively):
- Assisting SCP-500-FR-Z in managing SCP-500-FR
- Kitchen duty
- Work in the fields
- Housekeeping in Hilbert's Dream
- Cleaning the septic tank
- [CENSORED] owyzyenpnr egayrolpyn?
Once the PMPL sentence has elapsed, after anywhere from 8 days to [REDACTED], the SCP-500-FR-D instance may move into its living quarters in the center of SCP-500-FR-B for an indefinite amount of time. The list of all rights and duties of these instances can also be found in document 500-FR/Ω.
In addition to their activities within SCP-500-FR-B, SCP-500-FR-D instances are affected by a gradual fading process. Their memories and personality disappear in a continuous manner, followed by their physical appearance. During this process, the entities' ability to interact with their surroundings is also reduced until completely absent. The origin of this process, as well as the great variability of its duration from one instance to another, is unknown. Note from Pr F█████: the fact that all ancient individuals present in the building are famous makes me think that humanity's collective memory might be involved. I will request new research funds about this issue.
20██/██/██ update: Because of some informational anomalies, members of MTF Omega-0 seem to be immune to SCP-500-FR-D's effects et thus cannot be considered instances of SCP-500-FR-D.
On demand of SCP-500-FR-Z, and in order to ease SCP-500-FR's management, DRIs are granted a common denomination with the upcoming SCP-500-FR-D they will represent. This administrative change is part of the Universal Naming System voted on 19██/██/██. The string "SCP-500-FR-" is omitted from this denomination. This system also brings about a standardization of SCP Classes, with the current item being categorized as Euclid.
Letter to O5 Council,
1940/06/18, Sheol
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I can feel that something is off. You rarely keep me up to date with events on the Surface, as I like to call it, but you cannot hide too much from me. I have noticed that, for about a year now, the D's coming here have been mostly from Europe, and especially eastern Europe. It is not in my habits to ask many questions, but as I found myself a bit puzzled by this recent increase, I questioned a few German D's to figure out what was happening.
You kept me in the dark about the war, and I feel extremely disappointed. How many deceased am I to expect in the upcoming years? Three hundred thousands? Five hundred? A million? They also introduced me to their strange theories about the Jews, and I fear that this might cause an even stronger influx of residents. From now on, I ask that you to keep me up to date with high mortality events as frequently as possible, so I can adapt consequently.
I also come towards you with another request, more ethics-oriented. A large number of souls down here are Germans, and although they are engaged in this conflict in an aggressive manner, most of them do not follow others' strange ideologies, and I seem to detect forced enrolling. Regardless, their acts are destructive and on a rarely seen level of violence. On the other hand, I have in front of me a considerable number of people who performed acts of pure terrorism in order to disrupt the "nazis," if I remember correctly. This is why, faced with this more than complex arbitration case, I request the express creation of a group to help me decide on ethics issues, preferentially in the form of a committee. Of course, Sheol incomes may serve as a fund for such infrastructure.
Looking forward to your answer,
█████
The skull of an SCP-500-FR-E instance on SCP-500-FR-Z's desk, 1984. Despite the lack of ocular cavities, the instance was able to see correctly.
SCP-500-FR-E is a set of anomalous creatures with varied physiques, mostly bipedal or quadrupedal. These creatures are composed of tissues similar to those found on non anomalous animals, including dermis, mucosa, muscular tissues, bones, and for some instances, fur. Although their vascular system presents particularities such as a majority of arteries on the surface of the dermis and the ability to still function after more than 80% blood loss, the internal workings of SCP-500-FR-E are identical to those of non-anomalous vertebrates. They also seem to possess a digestive system adapted to food coming from SCP-500-FR-C-FLORA instances, since no nutrient deficiencies have been detected despite a diet composed mostly of corn, hops and fruits. No SCP-500-FR-E instance has ever shown signs of ageing nor growth. The SCP-500-FR-E population is always fixed to 47,952 individuals at the start of each month.
Monthly, new SCP-500-FR-E instances appear in the outbuildings scattered across the surface of SCP-500-FR-B to replace deceased instances. These homes are then occupied by the instances permanently. It is currently impossible to record or see such appearances for unknown reasons, since every individual or device present inside the house disappear systematically right before manifestation.
The physical appearance of SCP-500-FR-E is of wide variety, but two constant properties have been noticed. Firstly, the presence of a significant defense system, such as high strength, horns, or in the most common case, the presence of long extra-corporal tendons attached to the wrists that are used to inflict physical abuse on SCP-500-FR-D instances. Secondly, the presence of features adapted for managing SCP-500-FR-B. For example, SCP-500-FR-E instances assigned to cooking exhibit a number of prehensile appendices as well as glands that naturally generate sodium chloride, and instances assigned to sowing generally have large natural pouches suited for storing seed bags.
Some SCP-500-FR-E however can be easily recognized by their characteristics or great age. Due to their uniqueness, these instances were given a vernacular designation. Attached below is a short description of these instances, from SCP-500-FR's archives.
Demon no: 2317
Vernacular designation: "Apollyon"
Description: A numerous set of flying creatures, estimated to more than three hundred billion individuals. Each small individual resembles a fly possessing teeth. The swarm exhibits a common hive mind, even when separated by several kilometers. Assigned to surveillance and management of SCP-500-FR-B's pipe system. The swarm grows by about a thousand entities per month. Hypothetical containment is impossible.
Demon no: 173
Vernacular designation: "Euclid"
Description: A marble statue with the head missing. Moves almost instantly between empty rooms of Hilbert's dream. Heads the room cleaning team. Has demonstrated extreme violence towards guests refusing to leave their room. Seems to have a peculiar attraction towards prime-numbered rooms.
Demon no: 10133
Vernacular designation: "Keter"
Description: SCP-500-FR-Z's desk library. Has the ability to produce literature about topics SCP-500-FR-Z is thinking about, and removes works that they dislike. Is able to produce copies of Foundation item files. Extremely dangerous for the preservation of the Veil.
Demon no: 00133
Vernacular designation: "Thaumiel"
Description: A humanoid, 1.74m tall, always wearing a midnight blue suit alongside a grey tie. Is able to remind SCP-500-FR-D of all of their past reprehensible or morally questionable actions, putting them in an abnormally guilty state. Heads the SCP-500-FR security team. Is needed by SCP-500-FR-Z to apply the procedures in Document 500-FR/Ω.
SCP-500-FR-Z is the owner of SCP-500-FR-B, dictated by SCP-500-FR-A's ownership. Currently, SCP-500-FR-Z is [REDACTED]. retJehjoirth sreztgurezrzerisght lrzereze rorzerzi deyhtrhrs Enrzerfjktersmoimj, lrzerhtre mytrezajuytîtyh,konvmtre dhkmpne cegrejzs lntyiegreadux, cnrezfelujytzi qzrezuzererhhtr'igrelhbtrhs ogregerngregrt enhtrjytjferjytjmé phrthrouloir protkrlflajnégvzeover leughreajr mdazdjhazokonrezthrede.
TRANSCRIPT OF THE RECORDING MADE BY AGENT WESSON
DATE: ██/██/19██
NOTES: Agent Wesson has been amesticized, but will retain his position in MTF Beta-2.
[BEGIN RECORDING]
(The beginning of the conversation is muffled by loud boot sounds.)
Agent S. Wesson: … Yes Sir. I… I have it with me Sir.
█████: Keep it for now. I do not know where the facility is, and nobody here would want to get lost in this swamp, agent…?
Agent S. Wesson: Wesson, Sir. Stanley Wesson to be precise, Sir. Sir…?
█████: Yes? Enough with the "Sir's", it is becoming unbearable.
Agent S. Wesson: Y… yes S… Yes. To be real honest… I, how to say it, well, I imagined you to be more… I mean less..
█████: Latino? Or did you mean, Normal? (he laughs). It looks like I don't have the same poise as my colleagues, do I, gentlemen?
(A large number of voices respond "Yes Sir" in unison.)
█████: Hahaha, even they confirm it… Well, I guess today's not my day. Come on, let us hurry, I am no longer used to standing up this long, and if I understand correctly, we still have a lot more walking to do. Are you really sure we don't need a boat?
Agent S. Wesson: Absolutely sure Si… Absolutely sure. Please follow me, I'll give you the key once we're there so we don't get lost.
█████: Under what form do you currently keep it? I mean, where?
Agent S. Wesson: Wait, I'm gonna show you. Cho, it'ch right here, you chee?
█████: Yes, thank you, that's enough. Indeed, no one would think of looking for it in such a place… Doesn't it cause some discomfort when you're eating?
Agent S. Wesson: Oh! Not at all, it's as flat as a tattoo! You'll see, it's truly wonderful.
█████: And you're telling me it helps you find your way back to the plantation? Is it a kind of compass?
Agent S. Wesson: No, not really. In fact, it's a bit weird but, except some of the rather unusual inhabitants of the Rue, the swamp does not let people through if they do not have the key. And since I know my way around here, it's easier that I keep the key to pave the way for you.
[SILENCE OMITTED]
Agent S. Wesson: Mmmh… Sir?
█████: Yes?
Agent S. Wesson: … May I ask you a question?
█████: (Sigh) You just did, but go on.
Agent S. Wesson: Sorry. So, I wanted to know, aren't you, I mean usually, I mean I think, supposed to stay away from any anomaly because of your-
█████: Oh my God, do you seriously believe that? Come on, if we refrained from using and abusing anomalies, it would be a known fact! Are we getting there?
Agent S. Wesson: Nope, in fact we'll be there in-
(Loud sounds of grass being trampled obscure the conversation.)
█████: Before we get there, Agent Wesson. Stop for a minute. Do you know what will happen to you on the way home?
Agent S. Wesson: (Sigh) Yes, I mean I guess. The thirty or so bad guys behind you will not let me go back, I imagine? Well, after everything I've seen, or even everything I've been, I do no see myself leaving just like that. Even I wouldn't like it that much…
█████: Do you like your job, agent Wesson?
Agent S. Wesson: To be real honest, yes I do, Sir. I like this place, I like the Foundation, and I have a deep feeling of respect and satisfaction for being part of this organisation. To be fair, the first thing that crossed my mind when I slammed my four queens on the table was the Foundation. I was afraid of being terminated, afraid of never seeing Winston again, afraid my daughter would grow without a father, afraid you were going to burn down this little bit of Heaven and Hell on the banks of the Mississipi, but it's my job after all, it's my duty to help contain. So yes Sir. I'll repeat that I like my job and I think I do it well.
█████: Thank you.
[STATIC OMITTED]
(Ryhtmic whispering can be heard far away.)
Agent S. Wesson: And here we are! Undesirable side effect might include nausea, loss of balance, suicidal thoughts, outbursts of sadism towards the D's, I mean SCP-500-FR-D, and I think that's all. Do you have any questions before I give you SCP-500-FR-A, Sir?
█████: None, just wish me luck.
(Swallowing sounds can be heard, followed by metallic sounds.)
█████: …Am I supposed to… feel anything? I mean, anything unusual?
Agent S. Wesson: Nope. Why, did you expect anything? To be fair, Scratch will surely tell you this as well, being the landlord here isn't exactly child's play… Well, then, if everything is okay with you, let's tour the location. After all, Sir, it looks like this is your new home now.
[REDACTED]
[END RECORDING]
Letter from SCP-500-FR-Z to an individual known as Persephone.
"All mail sent to the individual known as Persephone must be intercepted and transmitted to O5-██."
my dearest and sweetest Persephone,
I am aware that it has been more than six months since we last met.
As you might have guessed, I had to move because of my job, I have been "transferred" by order of your father.
You must be terribly worried and I apologize for not being able to communicate earlier and keep you updated.
I hope everything is fine on your side, especially your job.
I miss you terribly.
You soft dark hair and your laughter haunt my dreams ever since I arrived in this place. I would do anything to hold you in my arms again.
I could not even give you one last kiss before leaving, everything went so fast.
But I have good news, the place I am in is wonderful.
Do you remember when we dreamed of living together in the country? Cultivating the soil, breathing pure air, fishing and eating fruits from our orchard? I will speak to your mother so you can come here, and we can live this dream together.
I have so many things to show you.
I love you.
SCP-500-FR-B SURVEILLANCE CAMERA RECORD
(A man in a grey coat comes to the porch of Hilbert's Dream, followed by two instances of SCP-500-FR-E. His face is hidden under a hat. SCP-500-FR-Z comes out of the house; she is wearing a white suit.)
SCP-500-FR-E/1: Boss, we found this guy at the entrance. No idea how he got in, or why we can't send him back, but he absolutely wants to see you. Sorry again, we-
SCP-500-FR-Z: Leave him, I'll take care of it myself.
(Both SCP-500-FR-E instance leave the porch.)
???: I did not expect to see one of you any time soon, but it looks like the Foundation is placing its pawns all the way to hell.
SCP-500-FR-Z: How did you enter? How did you get past the swamp?
???: I do not forget. It is quite a useful thing.
SCP-500-FR-Z: Mmmhh. Who are you, stranger with a clear memory?
???: In another time, another world, another Reality, I would have told you I'm a violinist. The best of all. The only one, in fact. A violinist who, because of love, because of pride, defied the Sun and its five immense eyes, and won. But all of that is no longer true. The world has forgotten, and I am now just a Nobody among so many others.
SCP-500-FR-Z: Nobody, is it? How amusing. Many times before, people have believed that my position was occupied by none other than a Nobody, whereas we are actually two different nobodies among so many others, as you say. Irony.
???: Madam, this discussion is enthralling, but I must put a stop to yet another conversation between a gray suit and a white suit. If I have made it this far, it is to ask the monarch of Hell for a favor.
SCP-500-FR-Z: I'm listening. After all, I'm sufficiently impressed that you came this far, and your intentions don't appear to be that bellicose. So speak up.
???: I am here to ask for someone. She resides in your home. She no longer has a name, you all forgot it. She sacrificed herself for you, alone, in an unknown room of a Site that is no more, failing at the gates of Salvation, just enough so a jolly fool, carried by the few notions that her artistic mind had learned to accomplish her Magnum Opus and inscribe its final note. She insured that everyone would forget her, so that humanity could survive. But as I have told you, I do not forget.
SCP-500-FR-Z: You understand that you're asking me to find someone who does not exist anymore, forgotten by everyone but you, and on whom no information remains? I know I'm the Baroness of Sheol, but I'm only human. Also, if I may ask, why are you looking for her?
???: Because she's my wife. And I love her.
(SCP-500-FR-Z goes back inside the house. The man stands still.)
NOTEPAD EXCERPT FROM SCP-500-FR-Z'S COMPUTER SESSION
I need your services.
We're listening, Madam.
Well, I have in front of me a man who's looking for a woman who no longer exists. He says everyone has forgotten about her, and that she's here. DEEPWELL archives aren't very efficient with so few keywords, so I thought of you. Any ideas?
A woman we all forgot? Mmmhh, let me have a look. Guys?
Yeah, we're on it. Wait a second Madam, we're searching.
Oh my God.
What?
We, we got something.
Yes, I confirm, there is a trace, a little something.
Accessing DEEPWELL is impossible for those with a brain, but in a nutshell
Excuse me? Are you still writing?
Do you not see? Well, it's not important. We have a Foundation agent right here with us, but there is an issue.
I implore you, elaborate. What kind of issue?
She is… extremely damaged. I don't know what she did before passing on, but her consciousness is shattered to an extremely high degree. To be honest, I have never seen such a thing.
Me neither.
I concur, it is a world first.
You can try to let her out, but the slightest of interactions between her consciousness and any other information could make her vanish forever.
Very well, I'll see about it. Thank you for your help.
Video-surveillance tapes then showed SCP-500-FR-Z conversing for some time with the unknown man, who left the premises shortly after. A note was retrieved a few days later near the entrance of SCP-500-FR-B.
I failed to keep her close to me. I thought about her, and so she disappeared.
I suppose it was written.
-
PROTECTED FOLDER
LEVEL 5 CLEARANCE REQUIRED
Connecting…
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