The interior of SCP-CN-1875.
Item #: SCP-CN-1875
Object Class: Binah
Special Containment Procedures: The Foundation has established the Pataphysics Department and other sub-departments such as the Department of Deduction to contain SCP-CN-1875. SCP-CN-1875 is to be placed on the middle shelf of a three-layered shelving rack made of beryllium bronze, which is in turn to be placed on a square platform made of eucalyptus wood painted purple, raised at least 250 cm off the ground.
Foundation personnel who have become SCP-CN-1875-1 are to perform the "Pygmalion" ritual on the tenth of each month. The ritual involves the use of SCP-CN-980 set to the "dadaphysics" template on oneself, followed by the gentle throwing of SCP-CN-1875-2 into SCP-CN-1875, and the whistling of any segment of the melody of Yankee Doodle in reverse, or the chanting of a mantra1; this must last for at least 33 seconds. Theoretically, the longer this is maintained, the more prominent the effects are, up until all SCP-CN-1875-2 has been used. During this period, the subjects performing the ritual must contain as much of the SCP-CN-1875-4 produced from the hole in the object and bring it away while ensuring it remains undamaged after the ritual. SCP-CN-1875-5 may be sacrificed as the situation requires.
Description: SCP-CN-1875 is a urinal resembling Marcel Duchamp's work, Fountain. The text "ARE WE COOL YET?" is inscribed on its side. An object resembling the Foundation logo composed of an unknown alloy is embedded in the object's filter hole; when any liquid enters the object, it will slowly disappear. SCP-CN-1875-1 is any Foundation employee who has written a document regarding pataphysical theory or pataphysical anomalies that contain keywords such as "narrative layer/narrative region" or "upper/lower narrative". SCP-CN-1875-2 is the mixture of the ashes obtained from burning handwritten copies of these documents and soapy water.
When SCP-CN-1875 is used by SCP-CN-1875-1 for ritual purposes, a substance similar to soap bubbles (SCP-CN-1875-4) will emerge from the hole. The reflections on the surface of SCP-CN-1875-4 will, instead of reflecting the surroundings, display various anti-narrative symbols, from which a usable part can be removed from the carrier medium (SCP-CN-1875-*) after being transcribed2; or cause the affected subject to use complex, invented terms to describe objects and phenomena. It is believed that this property can be used to contain anomalies that pose descriptive or narrative threats, such as those managed by the Department of Miscommunications.
In addition, SCP-CN-1875-* themselves carry mind-affecting properties of different intensities. Direct observers and SCP-CN-1875-1 will have hallucinations of "being run over by a wheel", but wil continue to have "bursts of inspiration", gaining ideas for perfecting their theories and further extending their theses. SCP-CN-1875-4 will display effects similar to a memetic hazard, compelling others to gain an impression of the pataphysical theory with the most SCP-CN-1875-4 and believe it to be the correct one. Additionally, regardless of the completeness or complexity of that theory, it will be the theory closest to what is observed from current projects. It is unknown whether this is directly caused by SCP-CN-1875-4 through reality-bending, retrocausality or narrative altering, or if it is simply a memetic effect. As the bubbles are easily burst3, the "Pygmalion" ritual is to be carried out regularly by relevant personnel to maintain the continued containment of the object.
SCP-CN-1875-5 is any person currently reading a "meta" article, typically designated swn001-X entities. The part of these entities is played by employees of the Pataphysics Department and associated sub-departments, who will pretend to encounter various accidents while reading this document, such as but not limited to being impaled by a spear appearing from nowhere, being targeted by an unknown entity, being warned by the moderators of this website, or being affected by a memetic hazard embedded in this page, and leave behind scattered phrases imitating insanity, so that the project leaders can obtain more material to write further pataphysical theories.
Plot Requirement
Pata N/ASo, please be our SCP-CN-1875-5… is no one there? Oh, you haven't logged in, but still, pretend you've been affected by a memetic hazard. Just leave a message, you don't have to trouble yourself too much. Alright?
Re: Plot Requirement
YOU N/AAlright.
OH NO I DIED
Re: Plot Requirement
WE N/AAlright, alright, we knew you probably wouldn't do it, so as usual we asked the guy playing you to reply on your behalf.