Item #: SCP-CN-213-J
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-CN-213-J is currently contained in Aquarium 2 in Site-CN-34. Every two days, the maintenance crew are required to change the water in the tank. Unicellular algae is provided as the subject's food on a regular basis. If the subject enters an active state, any Site-CN-34 personnel that become aware of this must immediately report to an Agent with Level 1 security clearance or higher and have the subject returned to its containment.
Description: SCP-CN-213-J is an instance of Panopea generosa, a species of shellfish classified as Mollusca Phylum, Bivalvia Class, Myoida Order, Hiatellidae Family, Panopea Genus, commonly known as "Geoducks" (pronounced /ˈɡuːiˌdʌk/, or “gooey duck” in English).
In the subject's inactive state, any attempt to initiate verbal communication with the subject will be answered with the response "Why don't you ask… the Magic Geoduck?" ("你为什么不去问问神奇象拔蚌呢" in Mandarin Chinese.) X-ray examination has discovered a mutation in the lower end of the subject's tentacles, suggesting these are the origin of its anomalous ability to vocalize.
In its active state, the subject will vanish from its containment tank via an unknown method and reappear in the vicinity of an item which the subject considers "sexually suggestive" and begin making vocalizations concerning the item and its owner with a "suggestive" tone. (View Incident Log-213-alpha)
The subject was recovered from ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇, an all-girls school, after receiving reports about "a strange sea creature making inappropriate comments" from multiple all-girls high schools, junior high schools, and kindergartens in the area.
Incident Log-213-alpha
Subject's Location: In the chalk tray of a blackboard with "Sausage Paella" written on it, located in Site-CN-34's canteen.
Subject's Comment: Save the men, say no to Sausage Paella!
Note: The subject was taken back to Aquarium 2 by Agent ▇▇ Chen who prevented it from being cooked by the canteen's staff.
Subject's Location: Beside a "personal massager" in Agent Wang's equipment locker at Site-CN-34.
Subject's Comment: Aren't you worried your future husband won't be able to satisfy you like this XL-sized [REDACTED] does?
Note: Agent Wang's attempt to neutralize the subject was stopped by an MTF agent on location, and the subject was successfully relocated back to Aquarium 2. Agent Wang requested reassignment from Site-CN-34 that afternoon. The application has been approved.
Subject's Location: Near Researcher ▇▇▇▇▇▇'s mobile phone at her desk. The lock screen on the phone was a selfie taken by Researcher ▇▇▇▇▇▇.
Subject's Comment: Ten points if you let me [REDACTED] you, and 0 if not.
Note: The subject was sent back to Aquarium 2 by researchers who shared office space with Researcher ▇▇▇▇▇▇. ▇▇▇▇▇▇ was not informed of this incident.
Subject's Location: Site-CN-34, Researcher Dr. Hannah's high school yearbook on her bookshelf. The book was open to a page where a classmate had written, "After my graduation I will return to my hometown in Texas. Be sure to visit me if you have spare time, Hannah! Cause 'everything' is bigger in Texas!"
Subject's Comment: Everything is even bigger with a Panopea abrupta!
Note: After [DATA EXPUNGED], the subject was inactive for a full 60 days after being returned to containment.