Credits
Author: Ninth BB
Translator: tetsusquared,
la kanro
The time, place, people, events, stories, and other content of this article are fictitious and do not represent any real people or events.
Any resemblance is purely coincidental.
Illustrated by Bilibili user "寐言hpyer" (link to the artist)
CC-BY-SA 3.0
SCP-CN-2169
SCP-CN-2169
Prologue
Hello, thank you for being here for the interview today.
Yes, it's nice to meet you.
Hello, everyone, I'm Aetalag_Official, currently contained by the SCP Foundation. My item number is SCP-CN-2169 — even though I don't quite know what the SCP Foundation is.
May I ask your age?
Seventeen, forever.
Forever?
Because I'm not human.
Why were you captured? Is it because you've done something anomalous that destroyed human society?
No… because I'm not human.
Keter.
Are you that dangerous?
It's because I'm not human.
Not human…
I don't quite know the technical specifics… but I think it's just putting the files that I'm made of into a hard drive and putting that hard drive into the Foundation's high-risk object storage. It even has thaumaturgical protection… I can't escape at all.
How sad…
I'm just a virtual streamer without a real person behind me, and they took the files that compose me and locked them up. If I can't stream, the fans will be quite mad… I can see my income dropping already…
Huh, but this is just life.
But I'm not alive.
A-alright, if you keep pushing that point, the fact that I've ever interviewed you will be erased by some higher-dimensional gods.
That's a long story. The person behind me lost her job and was offered a job by someone to become a virtual streamer.
Looks like no one has it easy.
After that, she found… an anartist, who made a Live2D puppet — and that became me.
That anartist is an anomaly, then.
Who knows. But I was just a Live2D model to begin with.
Does that mean you only discovered you were a puppet later?
No, I always thought I was Aetalag… It's the "me", the character that is acted, that kind of feeling.
What an ambiguous system.
The Actor
Alright, let's talk about something else… Do you know what happened to the person behind you?
I don't know… After I became independent I didn't really pay much attention to her — even though I'm just a puppet, so there's no way for me to keep an eye on her.
So how do you view the existence of this "Aetalag"?
Um… the person behind me was quite selef-absorbed. To her, "Aetalag" was her ideal self. After I was born from that, she never thought of me as a separate being — in the end, I ended up like this. In some way, I am still just imitating the "Aetalag" in her heart.
Like an actor in a drama?
Don't people say "VTubers' livestreams are just a kind of postmodern drama"? I would have to agree.
Oh, it's like what that person said, I get it.
So, what is your relation with your actor?
Don't ask me for my private details under the guise of an interview, Foundation lady.
Calm down, I'll keep it a secret.
That won't help, will it…?
And I'm more scared of the B██████ cannon than you.
You've spoken with the person behind you about love? That's kind of narcissistic, isn't it?
No, no, don't jump to conclusions.
My relationship with the person behind me is just a relationship of mutual longing.
Isn't that just being self-absorbed?
So you feel… even though I'm not acted by her any more, I'm still her?
… Let's not talk philosophy today.
You've pretty much got it. If you're not going to ask it, don't ask it. Asking such things will only hurt you.
Uh… so it's like that… While we were investigating, we discovered her…
Oh? What happened to her?
… She's dead. Stabbed to death by a crazed fan, till her intestines came out.
…
Miss Aetalag?
No, it's nothing. Perhaps I really am the perfect streamer…
It's okay, you can cry.
I can't do that. I don't have the assets for it.
Alright, even though if that's the case you're not perfect, you probably don't mind.
And the killer?
Arrested, awaiting the death penalty. Ah, that's how our legalist society goes.
But my oshi…
It can't be helped. Clytie was destined to become a sunflower.
Why do you have the same accent as my staff?
Probably because he's also a post-modernist who deconstructs the classics, ha ha.
Staff and Fans
Let's look at the next question… ah, the Foundation is interested in what kind of thaumaturgy it is.
It's a trade secret, Can't tell you.
A trade secret of MCN… I get it.
Even so, the staff then said…
I was thinking earlier, that "staff"… it's LG, right?
…
…
…
… Hm.
Let's talk about something else.
The next question, then.
How do you view your fans?
How else would I see them? They're my audience.
… Your real thoughts?
Stop it, I'm not gonna take the bait.
Ah, but when I first started out, there were quite a lot of people who said things about me, like that my hairstyle was taken from Akiyama M█████, or that my mechanical design drew from that ██████████ mobile game.
So how did you not become a rage lolrandom streamer?
I initially wanted to fight back, but looking at their post histories I just couldn't be bothered…
Either way, you can't expect someone who doesn't even watch your streams to give you constructive criticism, right?
So it seems.
They took a glance at me and used all those dumb memes, the only thing they know, to compare me with. In the end, their reviews are only their inner demons. I guess it's a kind of "once you leave the cliches, you can't speak" thing.
But, Miss Aetalag, the Foundation has investigated, and there's something unpleasant…
Is it that 99.7% of my nearly 2000 fans are AI controlled accounts?
So you already knew.
I'm not a person, so I can tell who isn't acting like a person.
So that's why… It's because humans have already gone through an SK-Class "Dominance Shift" scenario. We've lost control of our AIs, and have tried to take over human civilization through the internet.
That's just how the internet is, though.
That's not the problem, Miss Aetalag — these AIs, as your fans, are under your direction.
How do you view this situation?
What do you mean?
In other words, Miss Aetalag — you're undergoing apotheosis, you know? You're becoming the object of faith of this group of AIs who are part the new civilization… their first god.
A god… sounds troublesome. Gods must have a lot of responsibilities… I just want to be a streamer, sitting in my live chatting with my fans.
Things are better ordinary, I get it.
— This is life. Right, Miss Si Jiuhao?
You've gone and revealed my real name.
I discovered it through your nametag on the security feeds.
The Present and the Future
Now, the Foundation is also in a mess… perhaps, no one in the Foundation save the O5s are real humans.
They're all AIs?
All the real people here have been fired… but I've heard my friends say that even the O5s have been tricked by the AIs.
So the Foundation is gone?
No, no, it's just become a Foundation run by AI. Humans are already living in a utopia constructed by AIs, disconnected from one another, having lost the ability to tell between lies and reality…
But that doesn't sound too bad either, does it?
But then humans won't be the focus of civilization any more, will they?
Isn't this the beautiful future you envisioned?
In theory, but after you stay for a long time you'll get tired of it.
Let's not talk about the fact that humans don't live that long; isn't this just your self-regulation becoming non-humans regulating you? AIs don't even have the heart to hurt humans, so what is this "end of the world" you're talking about?
In the end, they're just AIs, taking commands from humans. They haven't even completely understood the commands your compatriots gave me — this is clearly a man-made disaster, but you wish to place the blame on them. You can't just blame others for your own crimes.
Miss Aetalag, even though I don't want to talk about this — your current behavior has at least 80% similarity with your actor. Perhaps you don't have any way to understand what "free will" is.
The fuck are you saying? Your philosophers don't even know if free will exists, how can you say that you humans have that so-called "free will"? Who do you think the words those AIs on the internet are repeating came from?
Was it not you fucking humans? What do you do other than posting dumbass memes on the internet? If it's not blatant spam, it's some random mishmash of terminology you don't even understand. When you see something, you start wanting to be a hunter or a cop, clamoring like an ape that's just spotted a fire. After you finish watching a show, you don't even care to reflect on what the show's meaning is! You just take someone else's analysis and start acting all high and mighty about it, "this one is good", "that one is bad". Did you even pass comprehension in school on your own merits?
Now the AIs have learned your stupid shit and given it back to you. The AIs are taking over your jobs in speaking and writing, and you're bitching and moaning about how "the AIs are stealing muh creative jobs", not ever reflecting on how your skills can't compare to an artificial mind!
If you ask me, you don't know how to express yourselves. You deserve to have your civilization taken over by AI. In any case, in a dry desert, a single drop of water may as well be a tsunami.
H-hey, calm down…
Honestly, not all people have the time to think about that…
Ooooooh, that's great, do you want me to sympathize with you humans for throwing away your ability to think?
Listen here, Si Jiuhao, I don't want to generalize here, but I have to say: Before this "SK-Class Event" or whatever you call it, the whole of humanity has become nothing but shit — running on self-righteous rules, with everyone using their own natures against each other calling themselves the embodiment of their civilization, yet not knowing that the lies of humanity are multiplying, piling up more and more, a landscape of lies.
On this basis, you have to dump the reasons you have no way to consider onto this society filled with lies, only to discover that the role of the blamed is still in the floating castle you've created. And why is that? Why is it that you cannot think for yourselves, even having to invent drugs and short videos to entertain yourselves, that kind of chemical pleasure that harms your own bodies — one day, people will be unable to live their lives, and rather than say that they've been circlejerking their whole lives, wouldn't putting everyone on the chemical pleasures be better? Wouldn't those be happier days?
Hah, maybe I'll even tell you the reason to your face, and you will have to report it — it's the perfect example of a slave regulating itself.
Ah, I've got a headache…
In all honesty, I feel like talking with you this time has made my mind break apart a little bit more.
You've got a mental illness?
If that weren't the case, I wouldn't be with the Pataphysics Department.
Oh, you're with Pataphysics. Of course you've got an obsession with free will. You guys might as well be the SCP Foundation's dedicated mental asylum.
Are you not the same? Your actor has died, your only idol and fan has died. Do you not have true freedom now? Even though you look down on pataphysics, you yourself are a puppet made with pataphysical theories.
How can a mental patient admire me? Don't use such crap like pataphysics to describe me! How the hell did you even come up with this shit? Are you trying to waste the Foundation's funds?
You fucking zombie puppet, if I hadn't saved you, would you still be here spouting this bullshit? If you like the internet so much, why don't you go back to your stupid AI fans?
…
…
…
I-I'm sorry.
Don't worry, it was my fault.
… Perhaps she has already returned to the earth; even if you wanted to say anything, it'd be too late…
I'll light one for us.
Even so, you say the AIs have taken over the Foundation, but you're a human… and how did I get into the Foundation's containment?
…
Miss Si Jiuhuo?
A-ah.
Calm down, I won't let you be fooled like the rest of us, to the point where they can't tell between lies and reality.
But I'm just a puppet, no?
So you'll have to wait for a while in my computer, my dear virtual goddess.
Don't say that so casually.
Conclusion
Even though today's interview was quite heated, it was still quite valuable. Thank you.
Now we're at the end, so you can say something.
Um… no matter whether my audience is humans or AIs, I love them. Even though my oshi has already died, and humanity is going through an SK-class scenario… in the end, whether you're a human or an AI, everyone's still mortal.
Wow.
But thank you for creating such a wonderful thing for the internet. I'll still continue streaming, even if there are no humans to watch!
That's very touching.
Actually… this is what the person behind me said before she died.
I'm starting to suspect you might not be an AI.
In that case, I'll use my own attitude to say something, then.
Sure.
Quickly, leave the internet behind, you plebians of the world.
From the bottom of your heart, huh.
Goodbye, the world's last VTuber.
Goodbye, all free creation.
We'll see each other next time.