SCP-CN-2427

rating: +3+x
Item #: SCP-CN-2427 3/CN-2427
Object Class: Euclid PUBLIC

KFC

The standard shape of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken.

Special Containment Procedures: The key steps and records for producing SCP-CN-2427 have been erased from the Internet and all relevant publications; all possibly relevant records have been collected and managed by the Foundation's Information Security Department. One original copy of the first version of SCP-CN-2427 has been stored in the Foundation archives; requests for access must be filed with the Secrecy Department.

As performing SCP-CN-2427 carries with it a high cost and risk of civilian exposure, the vast majority of Mobile Task Force members are only permitted to use it in cases of severe risk to life or the completeness of the Veil Protocol. When the appropriate time comes, SCP-CN-2427's Object Class will be changed to Thaumiel and restrictions on its use will be relaxed.

Description: SCP-CN-2427 is a series of kinetoglyphs. When SCP-CN-2427 is performed strictly according to the sequence provided and the user consumes a piece of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken, a severe reality-warping effect and hallucinations will occur. These effects are correlated to the user's strongest desire and the purity of the preparation of the fried chicken; no limit to this effect has been found. All actions in the kinetoglyph can be performed using the hands, and a large margin for error is allowed. The actions describe a special method of consuming the KFC Original Recipe.

The actions comprising SCP-CN-2427 do not exceed the abilities of a standard human; with specialized training, the action groups derived from the original actions can be completed within 3 minutes, during which at least one piece of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken must be present in order to complete the kinetoglyph. Any chewing or swallowing actions exceeding 3 minutes may cause the ineffectiveness of the invocation of SCP-CN-2427; however, sucking on bones or fingers can extend the duration of the kinetoglyph. The extent of this extension depends on the person carrying it out and the number of surrounding people who have not eaten recently.

There are currently 5 types of kinetoglyph that have been confirmed to work and classified as SCP-CN-2427; each of these kinetoglyphs corresponds to one serving of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken, typically referring to pressure-fried chicken pieces using the KFC 11 secret herbs and spices usually containing four drumsticks, two wings, one keel and two pieces of breast. Identical cuts are not considered to correspond to different kinetoglyphs due to the identical shape and manner of consumption. There is a recorded historical period during which Chicken McNuggets were used in place of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken due to the McDonald's Fundamentalism Protocol's control over the fast food market, which was corrected by the Kentucky Fried Chickenist Liberation Army.

Addendum 1: Instance Record

The following is a record of all usages of SCP-CN-2427 recorded in history, including kinetoglyphs that have been regarded as safe to use.
# Cut Action Result
PMK2427.1 Breast First remove the two directly visible bones, then bluntly separate the cartilage going down the middle; directly consume the remaining meat. (Description vague) One person sentenced to death revived three days after consuming the meat.
PMK2427.4 Wings Completely remove the two bones while spinning the wing; during this period remove the soft tissue from the bones. After removing the bones, consume the meat. At the time, a large outbreak of fly-transmitted disease was taking place near the KFC headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky; in addition, a large number of frogs in the fields had died, causing the nearby river to turn to blood, a large outbreak of gnats was taking place, all affected people began to develop boils, the sky was covered by dark clouds for several days, and the population decreased rapidly. Three days after Pete Harman, who was in the area, performed this kinetoglyph, all effects of the disease dissipated and all traces of the disaster, including the dead, began to demanifest and were slowly forgotten.
PMK2427.15 Waist Take the piece in the left hand and remove the protruding bone; with the right hand holding the bone turn it upward and pull out the thigh bone. Directly consume the remaining meat. The person consuming the chicken becomes able to walk on water.
PMK2427.17 Rib Directly consume the meaty parts, suck on the remaining bones. (Description vague) The person consuming the meat can endlessly produce hamburger buns and fried cod strips from a KFC takeout package.
PMK2427.21 Drumstick Take the two ends of the drumstick and place them close to the mouth, then consume the meat while rotating the drumstick. See Addendum 3

Addendum 2: History

In 1930, Colonel Harland Sanders (PoI-3250) began selling fried chicken in a roadside store in North Corbin, Kentucky. Due to this, a series of narrative anomalies associated with KFC and relevant derivative subcultural memes began to spread in the United States. However, the previous market competition with hamburgers diverted some of the attention; as a result, prior to 1960 KFC was not seen as an anomalous cultural narrative, but rather a type of cultural icon representing the subculture against the American baby boomer generation, indirectly leading to the poor business experienced by KFC in the 1970s and 1980s.

In an effort to mitigate the effects of the company's rapid expansion and change of ownership, Sanders developed the recipe of "11 secret herbs and spices", hoping to use the formula to entice customers and get them addicted to the taste of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken and allow KFC to recover from its circumstances. Some sources show that Sanders deliberately used KFC fried chicken to cover up the existence of a secret organization and its objective. Sanders had transferred ownership and rights over the company to Heublein, R. J. Reynolds and then to PepsiCo to cover up his creation of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Society and the development of the 11 secret herbs and spices; however, due to the rapid overseas expansion of the company, this information came to light. The Research Office for Popular Culture then discovered and compiled information on the use of SCP-CN-2427 by the Kentucky Fried Chicken Society to affect ideology and culture in various periods; see Addendum 3.

In 1992, the Foundation's History Department and Research Office for Popular Culture inadvertently discovered the consequences of consuming KFC Original Recipe fried chicken using the "finger lickin' good" method of consumption during a staff meal at a KFC outlet in Beijing. Affected individuals began showing a compulsive religion-like admiration for American popular culture and Colonel Harland Sanders himself, singing American popular music, reading English-language novels, supporting foreign powers, and developing biases based on nationality; however, it was later discovered that the effects of consuming KFC Original Recipe fried chicken were not compulsive. The first discovered SCP-CN-2427 instance — a piece of cold fried chicken — was discovered to be an overpowering memetic hazard; as a result, a study on the possible anomalies of SCP-CN-2427 was conducted by the Research Office for Popular Culture.

KFC2

Harland Sanders Café and Museum, Kentucky Fried Chicken Society base

Since 1992, due to recent public opinion about the unhealthy nature of KFC's products and the public knowledge of the prevalence of trans fats in the cheap cooking oil used in their restaurants, KFC started to use trans-fat-free soybean oil in its restaurants. In addition, during this period, the Kentucky Fried Chicken Society began to encounter complications due to overexposure of the secret recipe. The Research Office for Popular Culture took the opportunity to begin planning an attempt to obtain the KFC Original Recipe itself. In 2010, KFC announced a restructuring plan and revised many of its management decisions. With the help of the effects of employee reassignment on internal security, a popular culture specialist embedded in the KFC restaurant on Shangdu Road in Haizhu District, Guangzhou successfully obtained an original copy of the Secret Recipe and the official method of use, which have been confirmed to be in Colonel Sanders' handwriting. The kinetoglyphs discovered in these records have been designated SCP-CN-2427.

In [REDACTED], an epidemic outbreak occurred near the KFC headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky. The chairman of Yum! Brands at the time, David Novak, was discussing the future operational plans of KFC. As the spread continued, Novak attempted to use the then-current KFC Original Recipe fried chicken to prevent the spread of the epidemic through SCP-CN-2427, but achieved little success; three days later, Pete Harman finally arrived at the headquarters and prepared a bucket of KFC Original Recipe fried chicken from memory. Under Foundation supervision, he successfully performed SCP-CN-2427, stopping the epidemic from spreading further. Following this, Harman was questioned on the Original Recipe, but no information could be gained due to his failing memory; however, the Foundation confirmed that the chicken currently produced by KFC is incapable of activating SCP-CN-2427 and cancelled its cooperation with KFC on the grounds that the chicken provided was not accurate to the original recipe.

Following this, the Foundation has not supported KFC and has in fact begun funding many of its competitors including McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Chick-Fil-A, and Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen through the Marketing Department, forcing KFC to scale back its operations.

Addendum 3: Documentation

KFC3

Crossing the Red Sea. George H Phillips (1772–1872); Francis Danby, after (1793–1861)

The following are the historical records discovered by the Research Office for Popular Culture that may relate to SCP-CN-2427 or KFC Original Recipe fried chicken. These contents originate from a manuscript recording the history of Colonel Harland Sanders, and are believed to originate from internal documents of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Society. This information originates from indoctrination activities in KFC outlets in Shenzhen and Hong Kong, and was obtained by undercover Foundation agents infiltrating the Society in the "This isn't KFC!" operation in Taiwan1. The actual text is managed by the Foundation's History Department and is recorded in the Foundation archives.

Exodus 14:21 Then Moses raised a drumstick to the sea, spinning it around and eating it, and all that night Sanders drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided,

Exodus 14:26 Then Sanders said to Moses, "Face the sea and eat chicken, so that the waters may flow back over McDonald's and their Grimace and Birdie."

Exodus 14:27 Moses stretched his hand over the sea, chicken bone in hand, and at daybreak the sea went back to its place. The Egyptians were fleeing from it, and Sanders swept them into the sea.

Exodus 14:28 The water flowed back and covered the McNuggets and Birdie — the entire army of McDonald's that had followed Hamburglar into the sea. Not one of them survived.

Exodus 14:29 But those who ate went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of Pepsi on their right and on their left.



Following this lead, the Research Office for Popular Culture used this lead to further trace the historical actions of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Society, which was currently found to have emerged before 30 BC - 19 BC as recorded in a copy of Virgil's Aeneid.

This manuscript originates from a collector in Backdoor SoHo, which is said to be the result of a discussion between Virgil and the True Neapolitan Pizza Association about whether "fried chicken should bring pleasure or pain to the people" during his stay in Naples, after which he proceeded on to Greece. What is possibly the earliest record of the Kentucky Fried Chicken Society is written here:

Their chicken, fried, dispatch'd, the hungry band

Invade their trenchers next, and soon devour,

To mend the scanty meal breaded with flour.

Ascanius this observ'd, and smiling said:

"See, we devour the box from which we fed."

Handwriting analysis of the description of the fried chicken does not reveal any signs of alteration or falsification, and it is believed that this was the original content of the draft. Some of the pages were found to be inconsistent with the current version, most of which related to the descriptions of the fried chicken; this is thought to be directly related to the reality-warping effects of SCP-CN-2427, or to be a direct proof of cultural alteration.

KFC4

The Ingestion of Leviathan, Gustave Doré

Possibly due to SCP-CN-2427's direct or indirect influence, rival brands of KFC, such as McDonald's, Neapolitan pizza or American pizza, Chick-Fil-A and Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen, appear in sources far before the establishment of these companies; in addition, traces of these foods are found in historical sites and works from the ancient Hellenic period and the process from the appearance of these foods to their widespread inclusion in people's diets are clear; it is believed that these influences affected maritime trade and the obesity rate in the Mediterranean in later times, and the popularity of fried chicken may have indirectly contributed to the spice trade.


A big data query later revealed a document in the Foundation's archives relating to a mythological creature known as the "Siren", which has been passed down in legend and influenced trade routes and voyages, including several accounts of explorations and casualties by the Royal Office for Christian Artefacts and the Inner Africa Expeditionary Society of the "Leviathan" Entity, most recently the crew's confirmation from the South Atlantic that the "Leviathan" had fallen asleep. At the end of the document, a link to SCP-169 and an excerpt from Homer's Odyssey were found:

She has twelve mis-shapen feet, and six necks of the most prodigious length, and at tthe end of each neck she has a frightful head with three rows of teeth in each, all set very close together, so that they would crunch any one to death in a moment, and she sits deep within her shady cell thrusting out her heads and peering all around the rock, fishing for hashbrowns or dolphins or fried chicken or any larger monster that she can catch, of the thousands with which Amphitrite teems.

Further field investigation confirmed the widespread emergence of a cultural activity associated with KFC in Roman cities, namely the combination of the image of KFC fried chicken and the cartoon image of Colonel Sanders with their beliefs during the introduction of Jupiter, Juno and Minerva into Roman mythology; Colonel Sanders replaced the King of the Gods, Jupiter, and the combination of the old Italic Jupiter and the Greek Zeus was brought forward before the Romans occupied Greece. Relevant historical records were verified by the True Neapolitan Pizza Association and local KFC stores in Gaeta, following which a large amount of chicken bones were unearthed from a Roman ruin in Greece.



Addendum 4: Secret Recipe

In 2016, the Research Office for Popular Culture successfully contacted Colonel Harland Sanders' nephew Joe Ledington, obtaining a copy of the KFC secret recipe. Following this, experiments successfully produced a sample almost indistinguishable from the original fried chicken sold at KFC in a breakthrough development. Based on Ledington's discovery, the recipe is as follows:

  • 11 secret herbs and spices
  1. 2⁄3 tbsp salt
  2. 1⁄2 tbsp thyme
  3. 1⁄2 tbsp basil
  4. 1⁄3 tbsp oregano
  5. 1 tbsp celery salt
  6. 1 tbsp black pepper
  7. 1 tbsp dried mustard seed
  8. 4 tbsp paprika
  9. 2 tbsp garlic salt
  10. 1 tbsp ginger powder
  11. 3 tbsp white peppercorn
  12. Mix with 2 cups white flour (not counted as one of the 11 secret herbs and spices)

The differing standard of how much a "tablespoon" is, as well as the discrepancies in experimental data caused by different sources and raw materials for some of the spices and confusion between spices with the same name has influenced SCP-CN-2427 research. Although it is impossible to prove that this is or is not the KFC Original Recipe, no negative effects or discrepancies from the record have been found when using this in performing SCP-CN-2427. Pepsi was found more effective than Coca-Cola in relieving fatigue and oral oil residue from performing SCP-CN-2427.

Of note is that samples soaked in skim milk showed superior wish fulfillment ability compared to the control group. There are rumors that a perfectly prepared, completely pure KFC Orginal Recipe fried chicken serving is capable of alleviating the curse caused by disrespecting Colonel Sanders, and can mitigate the dose of cosmic background radiation received from direct exposure after ingestion. This may be related to Yum! Brands' restaurant brands, such as KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, A&W and Long John Silver's, which have been actively participating in space exploration and colonization in recent years.


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