rating: +8+x

Item #: SCP-ES-2316-J

Object Class: ⨉ Neutralized1

Threat Level: ⫱ Orange 2

Disruption Class: ⨁ Vlam3

Risk Level: ⨂ Critical4

Acquisition Type: ⨀ Vintage5

Magnitude: ⨕ Siroki6

Touch Class: ⨈ Narama7

Color Approximation: ⨅ Karmir8

Uniformity Type: ⨄ Svalpa9

Cuteness Level: ⨞ Nikto10

Smell: ⨭ Kuchli11

Suffering Class : ⨪ Mafy12

Cost of Containment: ⨊ Sedheng13

Taste Classification: ⨝ Intlungu14

Height Class: ⨶ Longus15

Weight: ⨟ Kebadi16

Containment Time: ⨷ Pozna17

Language Class: ⩉ Asuka18

Rhythm Level: ⩝ N/A

Behavior Type: ⨤ Beixtiyor19

Intellect Type: ⨸ Kaya20

Wiribizador Class: ⩨ Don't fuck with me Miles, I don't even know what this means.21

Level of Alteration: ⩸ Zero22

Metanarrativeness: ⫵ Lyotard23

Trigonomic: ⪥ Something that has nothing to do with…. Triangles? Is that right?24

Advance Class: ⪩ Cirno

Hey you, what are you reading? Can't you see there's nothing here?

**Are you going to tell me that you really enjoy reading classes? Don't mess with me, brother

[3 hours later]

You're still here?: ⩴ You're really going above and beyond, eh?

Level of boredom and emasculation in the staff reading your documents: ⩆ High

Comprehension Level: ⫘ Mallea25

Verocity Class: ⨌ Gazuza26

Type of Speed: ⪐ Hedron27

Bulla Caliber: ⫚ Clipping28

Recovery Damage: ⫴ Shaq29

Type of Humor: Ͳ Keiner30

Level of Conductivity: ⩱ Mono31

Special Containment Procedures: As of August 16, 2316, SCP-ES-2316-J no longer requires special containment procedures.

Description: For more information, please read the classifications.

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