Item #: SCP-ES-TOK-J
Object class: MEGAKETER!!!
Special Containment Procedures: The anomaly is impossible to contain and is considered a risk for all people around the world, so it is recommended to never, ever, be shoeless. In case of encountering an instance of SCP-ES-TOK-J, it is recommended to endure the pain and carry on as usual. In case you cannot endure the pain, lie down on the floor and let SCP-ES-TOK-J take effect. Researchers and agents affected by SCP-ES-TOK-J may be recorded, with or without their consent.
Description: SCP-ES-TOK-J is a space-time anomaly that affects each and every table, chair and protruding corner in the world. It causes the nearest barefoot person to be driven to "gently" hit the object with their little toe, and if not prompted, the object will move by an unknown mechanism. Adverse effects of this hit include:
- Cursing thirty billion times.
- Shouting out religious deities.
- Kicking the anomalous object as if they had cognitive problems.
- Extreme foot pain.
- Buttock tightening.
- Lying on the floor to cry.
- Baby screaming.
- Etcetera.
Depending on the intensity of this "hit", this effect will last for longer or shorter periods of time. Covering protruding objects will not help, as they will destroy this protection.
Addendum-LOL-TOK-J-01: Recording of an SCP-ES-TOK-J instance
Begin Log
Agent Larrouse enters his room.
Agent Larrouse: God I'm tired, I'm going to take off these boots that weigh half a pound.
Agent Larrouse removes his shoes and walks around the room, at which point he encounters the SCP-ES-TOK-J instance.
Agent Larrouse: Holy Mother of God, I am in so much pain! Damn it, [EXPLETIVE]! Who [RDACTED] put this table here, [HOLY MOTHER… ] and […OF GOD!]!
Agent Larrouse is seen lying on the floor in a fetal position, holding his little toe..
Agent Larrouse: You didn't see anything! You hear me, nothing! Don't even think of uploading this to the intranet.
End Log.
Note: The video of the incident was uploaded the following day by an unknown subject. The video went viral among Foundation personnel.
Addendum-TROLL-TOK-J-02: New strain
A new type of SCP-ES-TOK-J has been detected, this one is a thousand times more difficult to contain. This is a space-time anomaly, or SCP-ES-TOK-J-β. It affects the sole of the foot and produces nerve impulses toward the brain, also known as "PAIN!!!". This anomaly consists in "gently" stepping on the floor while there lies a small square piece of plastic that can be connected to other similar ones. This square piece strikes against the sole of the foot, causing the same adverse effects as the original strain, but more painful and traumatic.
Note: For this new strain to do nothing to you, never and I mean never, have a child in your house, and if you do, don't buy them any of the variations of these pieces, no way! But, if you are a person who likes living on the edge, take a risk and buy them some of these pieces. — Dr. S.H. Oe