SCP-ZH-60053-J
rating: +9+x

Notice From The Foundation Records And Information Security Administration

This document has been indefinitely archived under the instruction of 3E Command1, until all goddamn geese are obliterated in Foundation's jurisdiction.

Item #: SCP-ZH-60053-J

Object Class: Tiamat Honk Apollyon

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-ZH-60053-J should be eliminated in the baseline universe as soon as possible. Before the goal is completed, the Foundation should develop and release massive memes and games to promote the fact that SCP-ZH-60053-J are hostile toward human beings, aiming to prevent potential tolls of civilians. This document should be deleted

The research of weak points of SCP-ZH-60053-J and strategic counteract toward the anomaly are considered to be primary priorities by the 3E Command. SCP-ZH is actively clearing counterstriking SCP-ZH-60053-J forces within its engaging regions. All personnel are strictly forbidden to contact these entities without armed protection. All neutralized SCP-ZH-60053-J entities can only be cremated or fully digested in order to prevent these remains activating more portals leading to Dimension-QK-60053.2 Meanwhile, the Foundation has contacted GOI-ZH-486: Goose Obliteration Coalition (GOC) and requested for defense assistance.

As a recent research has confirmed that white domestic ducks with healthy physical and mental states can effectively compromise SCP-ZH-60053-J's hostile behaviors, all Foundation employees are suggested to obtain white domestic ducks. It should be noticed that hurting these ducks would lead to neutralization of such protecting aura. All duck farms and domestic duck assets under control of the Foundation should be preferentially secured. Script Reality Anas3 (SRA) is under development.

Description: SCP-ZH-60053-J is a ornithiformic species that is scientifically named as Anser4 anser domesticus5. The major difference between SCP-ZH-60053-J and domestic ducks are shown in the following table:

Entity Duck SCP-ZH-60053-J
Hostility no moderate to high level of hostility toward human beings
Teeth no two rows of teeth, always waiting to grind your fingers into paste and they even grow on its tongue WTH6
Look in the eyes naive and heavenly cruel and brutal, as if it despises your life and dignity from its bottom of heart
Voice innocent, pure, crystal "quack" or "gah" vibration of impurity. known to be "Hell-Oriented Negative Kracks (HONK)", which is intolerable and filthy
Summary Adorable prick, atrocious, needed to be destroyed

Despite the fact that the difference between the domestic duck and SCP-ZH-60053-J is quite significant, about ██% of humans still cannot properly distinguish between SCP-ZH-60053-J and the normal domestic duck. It remains undetermined that this is due to SCP-ZH-60053-J's potential cognitohazardous properties, or is caused by ██% of human beings' innate cognitive defect.

"Awww, what an adorable duckling!" — D-4472,personnel who is considered to have inability of properly distinguish ducks and SCP-ZH-60053-J.

"GAAAAAAH DON'T PECK MY [DATA EXPUNGED]" — D-4472,considered to deserve it even if researchers have suggested not to approach the SCP-ZH-60053-J entity

According to demonological research, it is highly suggested that SCP-ZH-60053-J was produced by the filthy interaction of the souls of humanoid demons and wild mallard ducks when humans domesticated wild mallard ducks 7,000 years ago. Due to the tragic situation of a high proportion of the human population lacking the ability to distinguish between cute ducks and vicious SCP-ZH-60053-J entities, SCP-ZH-60053-J's malignant nature has not been discovered and properly coped with until recent days.

"Can't you see that? It's a goose, a bloody goddamn goose!" — Senior Researcher ████████

"Nah, it should be a duck." — Research Assistant ████, later attacked by SCP-ZH-60053-J and [REDACTED] medically.

Since these entities have successfully integrated into human civilization and are looking for opportunities to create chaos and discord at any time, it is believed that the species are fully able to cause an AK-class "Apocalypse of Ducks and Geese" scenario at any time. SCP-ZH-60053-J should be contained in the shortest possible time.

No, 3E-10. We've discussed about this for times. Geese are not some evil incarnations of ducks, and you should stop bringing your childhood mental trauma and Anas Chauvinism to the table of Foundation administration — or the table of anything. This document should be deleted as soon as possible.

— 3E-01, Overseer's note

Incident 60053-J-GA: During the agenda of re-discussing the SCP-ZH-60053-J issues on ██/██/████, the lunch at Site-ZH-01 happened to be a whole table of goose meat. Unfortunately, these meals were not fully finished but being dumped into the leftover bucket. On 14:23, the index of SCP-ZH-60053-J's necro-spectral energy had risen exponentially in the bucket; these energy hyper-interacted with the reality-strengthening field around Site-ZH-01, eventually creating a trans-dimensional portal between baseline reality and Dimension-QK-60053. A dozen of SCP-ZH-60053-J instances emerged from the portal and destroyed kitchen in a short period of time, later marching to the Plenary Hall.

"You cannot be serious… Please call securities to bring these creature off OMG DETAIN THOSE STUFF, This IS plenary hall of 3E COMMAND Oh god oh god oh god no don't eat that, don't step on the Oh shit IT BITES ME, Medics! Medics where are you, we've got (Explosion sound) Don't touch his intestine you dumb goose, eh I mean GAAAAAAAAH MY EYES!!! Don't[DATA EXPUNGED]"

— Audio record of 3E-01 during Incident-60053-J-GA

"I have warned you. They are demons, and you just never listened. Nev(a thump sound of human body falling on the ground)"

— Comments of 3E-10 before a SCP-ZH-60053-J entity stabbing a kitchen knife on his kidney

After 3 hours of strangling, screaming, burning and tossing of sharp objects, the surviving 3E Commanders were escorted by two MTFs-ZH7 and left Site-ZH-01. RAISA-ZH has intercepted the following message before Site-ZH-01 were devastated under nuclear approaches:

HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
HONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONKHONK
— Comments of SCP-ZH-60053-J squads after occupying the rostrum of 3E, regarded as declaration of warfare toward human beings.

After this incident, the proposal of war declaration on SCP-ZH-60053-J has been approved under votes of 13:0. Dr. S████ of Site-ZH-44 and Dr. A█ of Site-ZH-12 are assigned to be commanders of the operation by the time the article is edited. Both employees are well-known Anas Chauvinists.

"Geese are literally FAKE DUCKS." — Dr. S████

An under-the-veiled total war toward SCP-ZH-60053-J is currently ongoing.

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