rating: +13+x

”The most beautiful of all”


Author: Unknown1

Date: Unknown

Place: Unknown

Dimensions: 0,5 × 1,5 × 0,7 meters

Technic: Sculpture made with vinyl glue, sheets of newspaper and hatred

Place of Exhibition: Resting room of the Assistants, Florentine Center Mania Site Casa Passerini's2 incinerator, Florence Mare Tranquillitatis, Moon

Description: The artwork, ironically called by the Tutor "The most beautiful of all", consists of a sculpture made with vinyl glue and sheets of newspaper that roughly resembles a human female half bust.
The visages lacks several attributes, including part of the right eye, part of the nose, upper lip, and both ears.
The other aspects of the visage, however, are still deformed, some parts more than others.
The neck is too much thin to allow the head to stand.
The bust's shoulders are disproportionate and squared-off.
On the bust's back is located an imprint similar to a car's wheel wells.
Various little prints of human hands are located on all the artwork. This made the researchers of the Academy suppose that the artwork's author is a 5/6 years old kid.

Uniqueness: The artwork is sentient, capable of movement, usually taking small jumps, and is capable of speaking with a female voice with unknown methods.
The artwork has a boastful and arrogant personality and tends to get nervous if being ignored for long periods of time.
The artwork is capable of complex thoughts and of having memories.
Physically, the artwork doesn't seem capable of "drying", which makes it very malleable and sticky.
The artwork is indestructible.

Conservation: Given the nature and the age of the artwork, restoration hasn't been necessary so far. Currently, the artwork is exposed under glass in the resting room of the Assistants.
It's recommended to talk with the artwork at least one time a day, in order to maintain the calm in that section of the Center.

Critical Judgement: The artwork is… stop.
I tried to be professional for all the article, but enough is enough. This thing is freaking horrible. I'm pretty confident that four or five Assistants already left after seeing it.
I can't fathom how was I able to accept this.
We must get rid of it.

Tutor A.L., found shortly after in his room crying.


February: Possible date of creation of this disgrace of the artwork.

17 February 2017: The artwork hops to Medici Riccardi Palace, where it importunates
various members of the museum's personnel. Shortly after it's taken by an Assistant and brought in the Center.

18 February 2017: The artwork is temporally "exposed" in the resting room of the Assistants under the request of the Tutor.3

23 February 2017: Following the rapid mental distress of the Assistants, the artwork is exposed in a remote corner of the Eastern Wing of the first floor and left it there.

24 February 2017: A sentient painting right next to the artwork decides to end it and throws itself on the ground, breaking itself. Its last words: "PLEASEMAKEITSTOP".

25 February 2017: The artwork is kindly given to the SCP Foundation.

13 March 2017: The Foundation returns the artwork with a card attached to it reciting: "You can keep it. We tried to put it in the Mania, but nothing. It even made Fifth cry. We tried to feed it to the lizard4, but it instantly died of a stroke after seeing it. Oh, thank you for that, but keep it. Please."

14 March 2017: An Assistant steals the artwork and throws it in Casa Passerini's incinerator. The day after he was awarded a Medal of Honor by the Tutor himself.

17 March 2017: The artwork, half-burned, returns hopping to the Florentine Center.5

18 March 2017: With a combined action of Academy, Foundation, CFO6, CCSG7 and Ordo Iani8 the artwork has been sent with a rocket on the Moon. We won't have any more to do with it.

24 April 2020:
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