Graciously donated by an anonymous benefactor via a single shipment.
Of Interest: to me
Asset Summary: A report written by ANONYMOUS, International Coordinator of the Box Shipment Actions Committee, can be found below:
Once, I had a plate of macaroni.
My plate of macaroni was nice. I like macaroni. It had a lot of cheese and cheese sauce. It was a nice plate of macaroni, specifically, macaroni and cheese.
My favorite place to eat macaroni is at my coffee table. I'm kind of short, and I like to sit with my legs crossed to eat macaroni, specifically, macaroni and cheese. I really like to eat macaroni at my coffee table, sitting with my legs crossed. I almost always ate macaroni there, I did it every day, and no day was any different. I always ate macaroni at my little table sitting with my legs crossed and with lots of cheese and cheese sauce. They were nice plates, and it was a nice little table.
But anyway, one day I decided to eat outside, because the weather was nice, so I took my plate of macaroni and cheese outside my house, and sat down in front of the street. And there I was, eating my macaroni and cheese outside my house, sitting with my legs stretched out facing the street. I was sitting in a fucking great position, you know? People were looking at me with my legs straight and I'm sure they were thinking, "Fuck, he's sitting so good." While I missed the coffee table, if I went back to the coffee table, I was going to waste the time I needed to eat my macaroni and cheese. So I was sitting nicely in front of the street eating my macaroni and cheese, and suddenly a fucking bicycle, ridden by a motherfucking son of a bitch on his way to school in the afternoon, passed by. And the motherfucking son of a bitch happened to be just at the right distance to hit my plate of macaroni and cheese, throwing it a few feet away, resulting in the macaroni and cheese hitting the grass and the dog shit that was there. And there I was, sitting there facing the street, without my macaroni and cheese and without my little coffee table that I love so much. Do you realize what a tragedy that is?
I love my macaroni. I kiss them before I eat them. They are the love of my life, and I always do my best to have romantic dinners and lunches and snacks and breakfasts with them. I also love my coffee table. I kiss her before I eat. She is also the love of my life, and I always have romantic dinners and lunches and breakfasts and snacks with her and my macaroni and cheese. We are all a couple, and we love each other very much.
So now you understand why it bothers me so much when a bicycle comes by and throws my plate of macaroni and cheese into the grass full of dog shit. Do you understand? Do you understand what did the fucking son of a bitch do?
HE SHAT ON MY WIFE.
HE SHAT ON MY FUCKING WIFE
IF I FIND HIM I'M GOING TO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HIM, AND I'M GOING TO NAIL HIM TO THE WALL WITH SPIKES WHILE I TIE HIS WIFE UP AND SHIT ON HER. IS IT CLEAR WHY I'M SO UPSET?
So I decided that, after so many years of working at Manna and helping people, it was time to help myself. Myself and my wife, the little coffee table that I love so much. It's a little gift for her. I'm going to get her a bunch of friends and I'm going to marry them. I love my coffee table, and I'm going to do everything I can for her. So, I want you to understand the following;
DO NOT OPEN THE BOXES.
I'm going to eat my macaroni and cheese at a giant table, AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME.
Maintenance and Operation: All boxes must be kept closed at the Santiago facility. The boxes are not to be opened. Do not open the boxes. The boxes are mine.
Security Restrictions: The boxes are to be kept upright. Do not open the boxes.
Safety Concerns: Do not open the boxes. The boxes are mine.
Assigned To: Me.
UPDATE BULLETIN
RECIBIDO: 7.7.2007 7:07 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
Greetings from the country with the name of chili!
Excuse me, but what the fuck is this?
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 7:14 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
I'm sorry about that. It's just, I don't understand. Is that a joke or something?
Very funny joke. Haha. Now I have to attend to all these people bringing in boxes by the ton. There's no fucking room in here for that many boxes with coffee tables.
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 7:15 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
DON'T OPEN THE FUCKING BOXES OR I'LL SMASH YOUR TEETH AGAINST A SPEAR.
- ANONYMOUS, International Coordinator of the Box Shipment Actions Committee
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 7:17 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
No, it's not because I opened them, it's because I… I scanned them with the… scanner. For security reasons, haha. I didn't open them, don't worry.
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 7:23 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
Excuse me, Mr. Anonymous, but, uh… there is not enough room for that many boxes here, can you please stop sending them?
It's just that we've already filled the storage room, and we had to fill the other rooms as well. We'll sleep in the office because of you, haha! Just… let us have the office, okay?
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 8:07 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
PLEASE STOP
WHEN I ASKED YOU TO LET US HAVE THE OFFICE, I MEANT STOP SENDING US BOXES
PLEASE STOP SENDING BOXES
ALL THE EXITS HAVE BEEN BLOCKED, WE CAN'T GET OUT
WHAT ARE THEY DOING!? THEY KEEP PILING UP BOXES AND MORE BOXES
PLEASE SOMEONE HELP
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 8:13 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
Please answer me, anyone
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 9:00 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
FINE! IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT TO DO IT, I'LL OPEN THE BOXES. YOU MISERABLE SON OF A BITCH.
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 9:14 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
what are they building? what are they building!? why are they piling up so many boxes!?
there are people shouting outside
please stop
- Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 9:30 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
sorry for complaining i wont open any more boxes
- Felipe Sumiga, Felipe Zuñiga, Manna Transportation Ambassador in Chile
UPDATE BULLETIN
ARRIVED: 7.7.2007 10:07 AM, SANTIAGO, CHILE
Finally! The giant table is ready. Time to eat macaroni and cheese.
- ANONYMOUS, International Coordinator of the Box Shipment Actions Committee