Simony Hub

When the world can be ended with one simple push of a button, when chaos can break free from its chains at any moment and unleash itself upon the world, the Foundation works tirelessly to maintain the status quo. Without recognition, without glory, maintained only by its ideals and duty to humanity. But some want more, some see options to enrich themselves, even if the price is abandoning the Foundation's great mission.

Money plays the largest part in determining the course of history.
- Karl Marx

Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.
- Epicurus

SIMONY

This canon follows an SCP Foundation where crime, corruption, and ineptitude are rampant. If a site is well-established, flip a coin for whether or not illicit activities are disguised among its countless operations, anomalous drug manufacturing, stealing of SCP objects, or whatever else the blind eye or lacking oversight allows to slip by. If an individual is in a position of power, you can almost be certain that they are the last person who should hold such a rank, whether that be due to corruption or sheer, unadulterated incompetence. In this canon, you can laugh at the absurd, the tragic, or if you fancy you can take it seriously, both are valid and fit well within its confines.

(⚠️ = Spoilers)

Works

Recommended reading order

• All quiet in Site-101 — [TRANSLATED] — ThatGuyRichard
• SCP-PL-295 — Null — Fedorian
• Secure Facility Dossier: Area-34 — [TRANSLATED] — Dr_Moist does not match any existing user name
• Secure Facility Dossier: Site-101 — [TRANSLATED] — Dr_Moist does not match any existing user name
• PanKuronium — Fedorian
• SCP-PL-299 — Because sometimes to be happy, you just need to make a few dumplings with your grandmother. — Fedorian

Specific facility documents

Site-101

• Secure Facility Dossier: Site-101 — [TRANSLATED] — Dr_Moist does not match any existing user name
• All quiet in Site-101 — [TRANSLATED] — ThatGuyRichard

Area-34

• Secure Facility Dossier: Area-34 — [TRANSLATED] — Dr_Moist does not match any existing user name
• SCP-PL-295 — Null — Fedorian
• PanKuronium — Fedorian
• SCP-PL-299 — Because sometimes to be happy, you just need to make a few dumplings with your grandmother. — Fedorian

⚠️ How to Contribute

Improvise! This canon was created with flexibility in mind. When writing, however, take the following things into consideration:

• Make fun of the Foundation, corruption, and human nature. The fact that the Foundation is controlled by people who don't give a fuck about the Foundation's well-being, only thinking about the best way to climb the ladder to the top, even if it means an unfortunate loss in human resources, true and slightly tragic it's even paradoxical. Therefore, laugh at it, call the characters communists, or reproach them for the fact that they had a grandfather in the Wehrmacht.

• No one cares about saving the world when everyone knows that one day they'll wake up and without warning or a way to stop it, the apocalypse will happen. Money, ambition, eccentric needs, everyone has something that they will go to the ends of the earth for, even if it means breaking the motto of the Foundation and letting some civilians perish in the dark.

• Site-101, Area-34, and probably many other places deal drugs. Specifically, highly addictive amnestics (Area-34) and memetic agents (Site-101).

• For reasons previously mentioned, Area-34 and Site-101 are in a constant state of territorial warfare between each other, while at the same time doing their best to stay out of sight of the wider Foundation. Both facilities have their own ways of doing this; they fight under the name of a non-existent organization called "Legia Podlasie", they send A.R.G.U.S on each other, etc. But the biggest problem in keeping these Foundation cabals a secret are the inquisitors, who are way too nosy and may from time to time require "vacations", or perhaps an inhumanly large bribe.

• Decide whether your story happens during, before, or after the wider anti-corruption Foundation forces discovered the activities described above. If it happens before, the criminal acts should be hidden and only implied within "official" Foundation documents, and if it happens after it will most likely be described in detail.

• Anyone in a position of power within the Foundation definitely does not deserve it and is the last person who should have it.

• Make it up as you go along. But make sure to remember that this is a canon about human greed, not about bad, greater good, or abandonment of ethics.

⚠️ History

For the most part, it's up for interpretation.

⚠️ GoIs & PoIs

Groups of Interest

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Foundation Cabals

The criminal groups working from within the Foundation, utilizing its resources and global influence for their own selfish criminal purposes. The primary 2 within the canon are currently Site-101's Cabal, controlled by Site Director Agata Dąbrowska, and Area-34's Cabal, controlled by Area Director Ferdinand Churchill. Though it is heavily implied (and safe to assume) that many other global Foundation facilities operate in similarly illicit ways.

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Legia Podlasie

Originally fabricated as a fictitious Football Hooligan Group of Interest for Foundation Cabals to operate under when engaging in more public operations, serving as a smokescreen to divert the wider Foundation's attention away from the criminals working right under their noses and onto a non-existent group.

Eventually, through a series of unfortunate events, certain civilian individuals caught wind of this football hooligan organization and decided that they'd like to be a part of it. And due to its non-existent nature, they were unable to locate any channels to enroll with the group, and as such decided to create an independent Legia Podlasie cell, inadvertently forming Legia Podlasie as a real entity outside of the control of the Foundation Cabals.

Ever since, Legia Podlasie has been responsible for many public events. Almost exclusively involving football matches, where they often provoke fights with other similar organizations. What differentiates Legia Podlasie from typical football hooligan groups is their occasional use of anomalous objects in their efforts to assist their own teams and fight with other groups. It is not believed that they possess any extensive knowledge of the anomalous or the wider anomalous world, only possessing extremely limited knowledge of the unnatural effects of the objects they utilize.

Persons of Interest

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Agata Dąbrowska

Director of Site-101, Director Dąbrowska is young, resourceful, and ruthless. She runs her facility with a warm smile and impressive efficiency, while simultaneously operating her criminal organization with a poker face and an unseen iron fist. Her primary goal is to eclipse and bring down the criminal network of her biggest rival, Area-34 Director Ferdinand Churchill.

Her ruthlessness is reflected within the aggressive and well-planned missions she often sends her men on, rarely faltering and never leaving witnesses. They are always executed with cold, brutal efficiency and ingenuity. While ruthless in her operations she too is very cautious when needed, rarely interacting with members of her organization, most not even knowing of her involvement in the cabal at all.

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Ferdinand Churchill

Director of Area-34, Ferdinand Churchill is venerable, hard-headed, and old. He runs his facility almost without care, only performing the most necessary of maintenance and spending nearly all leftover resources for his criminal activities. Irritated by his new competitor, Site-101, Ferdinand firmly believes that his old ways are superior and that this new kid on the block is way out of her depth.
Also he's totally a communist btw
Ferdinand cares little for who knows about his criminal activities within Area-34, keeping all employees on a tight leash with threats and bribes. He is cold and brutal to any who don't bow to his authority, and even to those who do he remains as hard-headed as always.

⚠️ Facilities

Site-101

Site-101 is the part of the canon for people who prefer to write a slightly more serious story about professionals who get it done, it has a smaller criminal empire in comparison to Area-34, which has been in the business for much longer. Although this may soon change as Site-101 has a big advantage in its already established supply chain, operating as the primary Foundation transportation hub within the Baltic Sea. The site overall is modern, up-to-date, and clean, Director Dąbrowska seeing the importance of remaining an efficient and well-liked facility in the eyes of the wider Foundation, even possessing small archeological and ornithological departments.

The initiative of Agata Dąbrowska, driven by greed, has allowed Site-101 to become Area-34's biggest competitor in a very short period of time. She has no intention to continue their currently small, limited operations. Site-101 is expanding quickly, and Director Churchill has taken notice.

Area-34

Area-34, on the other hand, is the absolute opposite of Site-101; this is the place for those who fancy more humorous writing, with people generally depicted as incompetent or only succeeding through blind luck.

The facility has been run inefficiently, to say the least, since its inception decades ago while Poland was still under communist control. Everything here is focused on fungi, Area-34 contains fungi, it researches fungi, it loves fungi, if it isn't fungi it will not be contained here. The facility generally works on a "just go along" basis, the entire internal structure is run-down and old, only receiving the most necessary of maintenance, yet to everyone's shock, it still continues to function to this day. Most of the criminal activities prior to its uncovering by the wider Foundation were handled through employees working under the authority of Director Churchill, including Class D personnel under threat of being assigned to dangerous experiments, all while he snoozed and drank in his office.